what if you absolutly hate someone but you cant get them off your mind either?

Question

your completly in love with them but all they do is hurt you?
i hate him but i want him back too

i took a friends advice and deleted him off my msn, myspace, phone...... but now i regret it


what do i do?

your completly in love with them but all they do is hurt you?
i hate him but i want him back too

i took a friends advice and deleted him off my msn, myspace, phone...... but now i regret it


what do i do?


We've been out about 5 times... over the past two years.
the longest has bean 9 months.. and that was the most recent.

we've tried

dating other people ( seeing each other)

Being just friends

being together...

and nothing seems to work.

now hes gone forever........... he admitted he used me but if that was the case, why did he use me for that lonng?

i love him

Answer 1

As you've discovered, love and hate, exactly the same. They consume all your thoughts. Just wait for the opposite of both, INDIFFERENCE

Answer 2

Is it a case of you loving him - or just wanting what you lost - often we dont realise what we had until its gone. However - if he hurts you all the time then why do you want him back?Is it coz you were settled with him and kinda comfortable? Often we mistake love for really what is a habit.
Maybe you should try and get yourself out on the scene again - meet a few guys - you'll soon come to realise there are really lovely fellas out there that would never hurt you.
Just weigh up the pros and the cons of this guy - if after a hard think you decide you need to be with him - you'll have to get back in touch with him somehow and give it another go - although personally I think he sounds unsuitable for you. xx

Answer 3

I'm in the same boat, except the guy in my life used to be my fiance up to about 4 months ago...it was a whirlwind romance in love instantly, engaged four months later, apart in just under 1 year. And now the guy keeps phoning me and when i see him im in love all over again because he hugs me and shows me all the affection he lost after 8 months. And then he goes away and i begin to hate him again till the next time. When your in this position, all you can do it keep strong cos it takes time, i know what your going through, believe me. Yet i know, everyone is different, so ignore everyone else, and do what your heart tells you to do till you find someone else, because you will and then your feelings will just start to fade away from the person who hurt you. I'm sorry if this is not great advice but i just wanted you to know, your not alone in feeling like this.

Answer 4

Hey chicks! The opposite of love is not hate. Its indifference. If you didn't love him anymore you wouldn't b bothered thinking about him but its obvious you love him an the only way to get over a hurt is time. Don't regret it. He's bad for you and rationally you know that. Its just the heart that finds it hard to let go! I've been there n trust me give it time!! Good luck i hope you find someone who deserves you hun x x

Answer 5

Most people think that hate is the opposite of love...in fact that's not true...hate means you're more than likely very very angry with someone...you may dislike this person for what they've done to you but they're still making you feel something...something they've done still bothers you....you may not want to be with them anymore but you haven't yet come to terms within yourself with what's gone on

As for the guy you mention...he's obviously hurt you quite a bit & you feel a lot of pain associated with him which in turn is making you feel as though at times you hate him....clearly you don't because as you say you still want to have contact with him....if you return to seeing him again then he may continue to hurt you....causing you to increasingly feel hatred toward him....when you've finally had enough & realise that you've had all you're going to take plus come to terms with whatever it is that upsets you so....that hatred (anger) turns to indifference.....you no longer care one way or the other.

That's the opposite of love.

As to what you should do....you need to be learning to trust yourself sweetie, so that you won't be acting on what someone else tells you to do....listen to advice by all means but don't act on it until you're sure that's what you want....normally a gap of at least a week or so should pass from the feeling of acting to actually taking action in itself, give yourself enough time to calm down....that way you'll be responding logically rather than emotionally, not an easy thing to do, but a much wiser choice than regretting & having to be back tracking all the time.

Answer 6

Your friend is right, the first step is to emotionally dettach yourself from him. Once you've regained your independence it will get much easier.

Don't regret it, it's only naturally to yearn for what you once had but think long term wise and think about yourself. You deserve someone who makes you laugh not makes you cry.

Don't submit to the temptation of getting back with him or contacting him because you're just gonna end up in a vicious cycle which will emotionally drain you.

Answer 7

That's a toughy. It sounds like you love him but your logical side of your brain is saying that the guy is a real jerk and doesn't deserve you. I've been where you are and as long as he doesn't call you, you'll be fine.

Work more. Keep your mind busy and off him. If he consistantly hurts you then he's no good fo you.

Answer 8

Hate is a very strong word to use, sounds to me like you need to think more before you do any thing else, if this person keeps hurting you like you say, then do you really need them in your life messing with your head, its hard but you will get over it and be happy in time

Answer 9

I don't think you truly love this person but you seem a bit desperate. You really need to go out and find someone else to spend time with and get this guy out of your head. Good Luck

Answer 10

Avoid contacting him no matter how hard it may seem. Especially if he mistreated you! Hold your head up and just know there is someone better out there for you. You DO have self respect and deserve to be treated better. Never look back with regretts. Good luck to you!