I feel as if all I do is nag nag nag at my 12 year old son. He is a lovely boy but he is quite an anxious child and can be a little lazy when it comes to homework. He started secondary school in September and was very happy when a former class mate ended up in the same form class as him as he would have been quite upset and worried had he not known anybody in his class. The other boy in question is a loveable rogue. The problem is that I am worried that he is having a negative influence on my son. They both had detention on Friday night for being chatty in class and not concentrating. On the way home I told him to try and not get too wrapped up with this boy during class time as he will end up being labelled in the same way. Later on I received a call from the teacher who had given my son detention telling me that she had had a word with him and told him to try and keep away from the other boy during lessons. How should I proceed with this one? Help me.
2007-01-14 23:31:44 · 13 answers · asked by cat1967 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Becareful of nagging. If there is something that is going to drive a boy to listen to his friends before his parents it is when he only gets negative response from his parents. The best thing to do is to loving show him the misconceptions that his friends might be spreading. If there is a particular issue, show him the consequences to that issue. You can also work to involve him in a good group of friends: perhaps you can help him to find a youth group that is a good, healthy culture.
2007-01-15 07:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by ctrl-alt-delete 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im a 15 year old kid and i can tell you i went a lot through the same thing. me and my friend in 7th and eighth grade were known around the school not necesarrily as trouble makers but kids who could do stuff without going too much over the line. we are both great kids and we still are, in fact this friend is one of the only people i know who doesnt swear smoke drink or do something that isnt really good for highschoolers. my advice is that he is just growing up and loving how things are going. some kids are just chattier then others and... some just get caught more. if you feel like his friend is a nice kid he is just getting into trouble then i think you should be ok. but if you feel the other boy might ending up influencing your child to do something actually BAD then im not sure what to do. Also you should try to help your son do his homework and never get into the habit of not doing it. i started that habit in middle school and i still havnt got out of it 3 years later. good luck :)
2007-01-14 23:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're flirting with intense danger here. not purely is it immoral to lust after a baby, i don't think of there is everywhere interior the U. S. the place a 12 year previous is criminal. we at the instant are not purely speaking a pair of checklist here yet a life-time itemizing on a intercourse criminal's checklist. to not point out the emotional injury you would be able to desire to reason to this boy if this is going any better. 12 year olds at the instant are not emotionally mature sufficient for a relationship, or as you look hinting at, intercourse. If I have been you, i could look for a counselor to discover what that's approximately this little boy which you hit upon appealing and paintings via your themes on the grounds that's not a organic/known attraction.
2016-10-20 05:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one for you and I am sorry about that but you have to be the one to be strict on this. I would tell my son that if wants to hang out with this boy he has to do it at home where you can supervise and that, that will end if there is more trouble at school. I used to tell my kids if I had to take a phone call from the school I was going to go to the school dressed in a aweful costume and where a sign that said I was their mother. If i had to be imbarrased of their behavior they would have to deal with me being imbarrassing
2007-01-14 23:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mary B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids sometimes are confused who their real friends are. since you son only knew one kid he feels that if he doesn't do the same things as the other kid, then hes going to loose him. starting school and not knowing people could be really hard. especially on a child. talk to him. ask him question, but also listen to what he has to say. get down to his level, be his friend. then hes most likely to tell you. also let him know how decisions can affect his life. be honest and truth full. and when it comes to homework. do the homework with him until he learns to do it with out you asking. and also have some kind of a reward system with your child, when completing tasks, like chores, homework, good grades etc...
2007-01-15 00:53:26 · answer #5 · answered by lala 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the teacher to seperate them during class. If detention is a no-no in your household, then treat it as you would any other acts worthy of discipline: grounding, taking away his music--whatever works. Be glad for him (and tell him so) that he has friends, but also tell him that being a responsible, respectful person is more important than making a good impression on his friends.
2007-01-15 00:42:34 · answer #6 · answered by the bag lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this can be very tough
the more u tell your son not to hang around this other boy the more he is going to want to
i think the best thing is to see if the friendship will run its natural course.
if your son has not had behavior problems in the past then he may just be "experimenting"
let the school assign the punishment and u can punish him at home for the bad behavior but i would be very careful about telling him not to hang out with this other boy
most likely he will be able to figure this one out on his own
if he is not used to being punished at school he will not want it to continue
2007-01-14 23:40:35 · answer #7 · answered by dreamnfox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a teen, I know that kids can sometimes not know who their real friends are. If you think that the other kid influences him in positive ways at times, then you let him go ahead with their association. If you think the other kid is nothing but trouble, try to talk to your son - let him know that it'll be ultimately up to him to try and see whether his friend is a real friend or just someone who gets him into trouble.
Also, tell him to try and influence the other kid to not get into trouble. If it's bad peer pressure you're worried about, fight it with good peer pressure. But don't force your son into stopping his friendship with the other kid - he might resent you for it, or you might be stopping one of the only possible sources of good influence that may be given to the other kid.
2007-01-14 23:39:59 · answer #8 · answered by Hino-chan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is 12 and is going to make decisions for himself, for better or for worse. All you can do by now is guide him and sit back and hope he developes into a fine young man. You can't choose his friends but you can spend time with him and set "private time" apart to do activities that he enjoys with you. Bondng with him and in doing so giving him valuable life lessons are more important then yelling at him over what he can and can not do.
2007-01-15 10:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by hummingbirdnectar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough one hey... the more you say no the more he will want to hang around him.
if they rae in the same school you can't avoid them being friends but you can request that they are not to sit together during class time, just talk with the head master/mistress
or think about changing his school
good luck
2007-01-14 23:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by omissy2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋