I started seeing a girl a year older than me at the end of Nov, we've been on a few dates and I've stayed over at hers a couple of times where we've done more than talk :) The last few times I've arranged anything though she has agreed and said she is really looking forward to it but will then cancel on me about an hour before we're due to meet and want to re-arrange, this has happened 4 times now. I didn't think anything of it at first as I have last minute things come up now and again but if I make plans I do try my hardest to stick to them and the last couple of times the reasons were poor. She always apologises and carries on txting me but I'm starting to wonder if I'm being a bit naive? She's always mentioned me being younger as a negative even though it's only a year and she sees her ex often as they go to the same gym reguarly, although she's said she isn't interested anymore. Any opinions?
2007-01-14 22:33:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe you should take a step back and wait for her to contact you and arrange something, that way she probably won't back out. It could be that she does not want anything heavy, she just wants it to be casual because after all you have only had a few dates!! Cool it and see what she does, it might be time to move on if she shows no interest - good luck
2007-01-14 22:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by clairelou_lane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that theres something about you that shes not sure about and that she uses the excuse that you're younger than her to justify her doubts. However the fact that she's cancelled on you four times in a row suggests that theres more to her then meets the eye. If it were me and someone cancelled like that I would make them arrange the next date or break it off before it gets way to serious and you end up putting up with poor excuses and engaging in large arguments. Talk to her and tell her straight out that she's cancelled on you the last four times and you find it unexceptable, she'll probably protest and just make sure say well if you're really interested in this then you would organise a date in return and go from there but if she organises and cancels its time to ditch her and move on too many issues or the possibility of her dating more than just you...
2007-01-15 18:16:01 · answer #2 · answered by Imogen228 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would arrange one more date with her and if she cancels that too, ask her out right if she wants to continue seeing each other. Tell her that she is upsetting you with the cancellation of dates last minute and see what she says.
It might be that she genuinely is having a rough time of planning at the moment but it sound to me like she is waiting for you to get bored and find someone else. Sorry
Good luck
2007-01-14 22:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by lucyt20 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on - guys and gals do this a lot...they arrange to do something with more than one person on the same night. So should the 'better' option pull out/cancel on them, at least they still have a date! If the 'better' option comes through for them, then guess what? you were back-up, a stand-in. sorry hon, something came up...yeah right, another date! This is NOT always the case but since it appears to happen to you more often than not, I'd say.....move on. don't despair, it happens to all of us at some point or another. good-luck and for your sake, I hope I'm wrong!
2007-01-14 22:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by Bite Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but yes you are a bit naive. This is typically from someone using you as a back-up. You're probably a great guy to hang out with but as soon as something better comes along she is prepared to ditch you. Don't make any plans. Don't txt. Wait for her to call and arrange plans if you still want anything to do with her but don't put your heart out for this one!
2007-01-14 22:49:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's loosing interest there's not much to do. But my wife and I were about 4 and a half years apart(she was older)and we got along. A year is nothing, but don't worry about things. If they're going to work out they will. Aint nothin to get hung about.
2007-01-14 22:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being used just in case her 'ex' dumps her. Also by her having you in the picture she may be using that to make the 'ex' jealous.
Dump her, go out have fun and live a little!!
2007-01-14 22:47:20 · answer #7 · answered by I'msobored!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simple answer is yes. She obviously hasn't got the guts to finish it and is trying to get you to do the dirty work for her. You can either play her at her own game and hope she gets the hint - or you can be straight to the point and ditch the b!tch.
I hope you don't let yourself get taken for a ride.
:)
2007-01-14 22:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by brumbeep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ditch the b!tch. she's messing you about mate. sorry to say it but she is probably meeting with her ex or some other fella and she's trying to keep you around in case it doesn't work out for her. do yourself a favour and get together with someone who has enough respect to be honest with you.
don't get down it happens to us all at some point.
2007-01-14 22:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you just ask her outright? Life is too short to play silly games, you are both adults and all this guessing game stuff really wears you out.
2007-01-14 22:55:55 · answer #10 · answered by Denise H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋