when i look in the mirror i see a deformed grotesque ugly disfigurered face been like this all my life from school upto adult hood ive had people throw abuse at me in the street and people call me ugly i have had no confidence from being abused as a kid and my mum not believeing me and i have been callled ugly from many people i dont know why as i have done them know wrong the final straw was when i could take no more from life and tried to end it i really do believe that i am disfigureded to me it is what i see in the mirror have you any tips advice on how to make myself look just a tiny bit better or anythhing i live in a small town and people all know that i have tried to end my life due to my poor appearance i am like this 24/7 i dont think of anything else except plastic surgery to rectify my face and by that i mean reconsstuctivr surgery this is debiliating to me and it is true and so real people also find it easy to take advantage of me and hurt me please help me if you can
2007-01-14 22:00:27 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
im on on uglynet under uglywoman i dont know how to post a link for you to see
2007-01-14 22:01:31 · update #1
Flower, I saw your picture and your not ugly.
Bet there are many men in Cheshire who would love to meet you. And you have a beautiful heart if you can help a old blind lady across the road.
Be happy with what you've got and live life. It's to short to be so unhappy all the time.
2007-01-14 22:09:07 · answer #1 · answered by Steven W 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Flower, it is so sad that you have spent your life feeling this way, because you really, really, truthfully are not ugly. You have lovely eyes and beautiful teeth and nothing about you looks disfigured in any way.
It sounds to me that you have a severe body dysmorphic disorder which makes you see "ugliness" that isn't there. Although it's tragically real to you, no-one else sees it.
People are called ugly all the time. Everyone is. It's one of those things, and there usually isn't any truth in it, but it seems as though you've taken these insults more seriously than they deserve because they've played on your insecurities and fears. Insults do this. Insults are formulated to cause pain, not to tell you the truth.
The truth is that you're not ugly, you're a pretty woman.
I think what you really need more than anything is a really good counsillor to help you get over this, because it's a psychological, not physical condition. I speak from the heart when I say it would be a terrible shame for any surgeon to alter your face. I sincerely believe that a good and consciencious one wouldn't want to. It really seems you need help to build up your self-worth and confidence.
I'm wiccan and I come from the old school of belief that BEAUTY = CLEANLINESS + GOOD CONSCIENCE + A SMILE.
Personally, I don't believe in "ugliness". Everyone is different and everyone is beautiful. I believe that the only thing that makes someone appear ugly is a bad conscience or being a bad person. When you are a good person it shows from within and attracts people. Don't hide this with insecurity. Please get help to appreciate yourself and let the good parts of yourself shine out to others because you don't deserve to be feeling so bad about yourself for so long.
Whatever you do, please don't hurt yourself.
Believe that you are beautiful, because you are.
Good luck and look after yourself, you are worth it xx
2007-01-15 17:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by Auroraini 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
For a start, I am very disturbed that there is such a site on the internet. For christs sake what are we becoming?
Secondly, I checked out your pic and as others have said, you are not ugly. Neither are most of the people on that site.
I too felt ugly for years and this is because I have a slight crooked jaw which is something that just grew wrong. I still feel self conscious of it at times and remember vividly covering my mouth whenever I smiled or laughed when I was younger. There was even a time when I heard 2 young girls say "oooh what is wrong with her face?" That was about 15 years ago and it still hurts me to think of it now.
I still have days when I think I am so ugly I don't want to leave the house. But I have changed on the inside. My boyfriend thinks I'm so good looking men ogle me when I walk down the street. I think he's blinded by his love for me.
But seriously, I have changed. I have learnt to like and accept myself. I am often told by men that I am sexy and this is because I feel beautiful and sexy so exhude this quality.
I know this all sounds simple but the point I am getting to is you need to address these feelings you have with a professional. You can overcome this negativity you have about yourself because it is misguided and incorrect.
Please see a councillor of some sort and don't go through the rest of your life feeling like this.
2007-01-15 06:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by bratzwoman1971 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think that plastic suggery is the answer in this situation because it sounds as if you have underlying issues that are emotional and the best advice i can give at this point is to seek counselling, it will not be enough to change the way you look because you cannot fix whats inside you that way.
seek counselling, once you gain confidence and see yourself as beautiful inside it will not matter what anyone says about your outside. at the end of the day you determine how people see you and if you let their opinions guide you, then they will destroy you and keep pulling you down.
by the way everyone in life is allowed to have an opinion, but you have a right to choose what you believe in your heart to be right for you and get rid of all the negative influence and words that only have a negative effect on you.
please seek help talk to someone, life is worth living even though sometimes it does not feel this way.
2007-01-15 06:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by shiro 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
Firstly, I want to say that there is no right or wrong way to be. I think we all find ourselves in positions at some stage where people are critical of our looks, which is not very nice. But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I know that sounds like a typical cliché, but there is no truer word said. Quite simply, we can't please everyone!
When we lose confidence in our appearance, we can start to obsess over it by looking in the mirror all the time to work out just exactly how we look. It becomes a habit.
This, however, is a habit that must stop. Because, if we're looking in the mirror all the time, how can we live our lives? How can we focus on the things that we want to focus on?
I know it will be difficult at first, but the less you look in the mirror, the less you'll feel you want to do it.
We have to accept who we are. Accept the way we look. Everyone is different. Just because someone comments on your appearance, does not make them right. People will comment on loads of issues in life thinking that they're right, but they're not.
You are as special as anyone.
You know, again, this may very well sound like the usual kind of comment, but personality is the most important thing. No one wants to be around someone who has horrible personality, no matter what they look like. I certainly wouldn't want to be around people who insult other people's looks. Do you see what I mean? Those insulting people are not right. Ultimately, the most important thing is to have a decent personality.
Please, please stop worrying about what other people think and let your light shine. You have so much to offer that it's just not worth worrying what other people think. Be you.
Love and light to you x x x
2007-01-15 08:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by Pat 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i tried to find it - just lost time. u can put the address of link when u open your page on uglynet there will be adress up there, so just copy and paste it here. but anyway, i am sure if all those people wrote that u look ok it means u look ok. u just have low self esteem. try maybe achieve smth what nobody else can - like get a fabulous body, or excellent education, or learn how to speak some difficult language or smth, which will make u special and outstanding. good luck, pity i couldn't find your picture. i looked through all profiles there, they all looked pretty to me by the way
2007-01-15 06:34:00 · answer #6 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went and had a look at your pic, you are not uglt at all. In fact, i think you're quite pretty. To be honest though, I dont think it matters how much you hear me or anyone else saying this you wont believe it - you have a complex about your looks that is rooted way deep down that only you can get rid of.
But trust me you are NOT ugly. If you want specifics, your eyes and smile are beautiful for starters.
Please learn to love yourself, you deserve it.
2007-01-15 06:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by gixerbry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I saw your pic and you are a nice woman. Plastic surgery isn't what you need, I guess you have such a low self steem because of the abuse and for living in a small comunity where everybody is aware of your problems. Getting help from a counselor would be great for you. But please take away those thoughts of being deformed or something, because that's the complete opposite of the reality. And if people call you ugly it's because they are ***holes who have no consideration for others.
2007-01-15 06:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
First of all stop calling yourself ugly, if you put yourself down then it gives others a right to
second, I know what it feels like to be called ugly, you feel unattractive and worthless, I never believed i was pretty until a guy i haven't seen in years told me i was gorgeous, that gave me the confidence i needed, before that i hated what i saw in the mirror
If you need help get help, talk to a friend, parent or a doctor
2007-01-15 08:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by Bea 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My boyfriend has like 8 brothers and 3 sisters he calls one of his sister's medussa and I feel sorry for her she was burnt real bad as a child but she still has 3 kids and boyfriends she doesn't let what people say get to her and she's very outgoing I think you could learn from her considering your actually a pretty girl.
2007-01-15 08:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by fluttergirl2004 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋