Mum and him didn't get along and I'm worried I might upset my step dad who raised me from the age of 8. I just love my dad soo much and miss him terribly. He didn't exactly treat my brother and I all that great but I've found peace with it all but my family havn't yet... Any ideas?
CheersI lov
2007-01-14 21:53:06 · 21 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi Nikki,
It will be a bit tough to pull this off, if you don't want to upset your step-dad! Might help if you talk to him first. Anways, my cousin did something beautiful on her wedding day for her dead dad! After she walked down the aisle, she laid a rose on an empty chair, which was placed in the first row along with Family. After she did that, there was a general announcement that it was for her father! She misses her dad too a lot! It was one of the most touching things I've ever witnessed.
2007-01-14 23:00:28 · answer #1 · answered by fabby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wear a locket with his picture. It would be private - just for you - but you would feel like he is there. It could be your something new - or if it is an antique locket - it could be your something old.
During the ceremony, I've seen where the bride and groom present their parents with flowers. You could have an empty vase that you place fathers in for your father.
I would honor him in very subtle ways. No empty plates, or dedicated songs. A wedding is not meant to be a memorial service. People will notice that and not your happiness.
PLEASE - focus on the Daddy that you still have and don't slight him. It sounds form your post as if you are romantizing him a bit. That although you have found peace and miss him, that you should allow him in death to become the focus of your wedding.
Your step-father stepped up and did the job your father couldn't do. Make this a happy day with your parents, and although you don't want to forget about your dad at all, don't have obvious statements about him being gone.
2007-01-15 01:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a reception. Do the Father,Daughter dance with your step father and have the song dedicated to both your step Father and in Memory of your biological Father. A beautiful song for this I think would be "Daddy's Hands".
I so admire people like you who can make peace with situations that still control others. God Bless You.
My Father was never a contributing factor in my life and my Mother had it so hard but after Mother died and before my Dad died he turned his life around and became a born again believer. I loved him. He was, after all my Dad. We made peace with each other and I cred at his funeral. My sister-in law said "He never did a thing for you. Why are you crying "?Because his life had been so wasted and now he was going home.
I want to wish you the very best in life and again I so love your attitude. I have an idea, your one precious girl. Good Luck !!!
2007-01-14 23:08:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could do two father daughter dances, one with your step dad and one with a stand in for your biological dad. When I get married I intend to have my brother in law (he's been in the family since I was very young) dance with me to the song "I believe" by Diamond Rio. I love the idea about the roses on the seats because both of my parents are gone now (I'm getting all teary thinking about it)
2007-01-15 00:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by dorie0371 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Embroider a short message to him on your crinoline.
Put up a table of family photos at the reception including those with you and he together, with you and your stepdad together, you together with other family (mix all photos together). Do the same for groom's family photos.
Play his favorite song or serve his favorite food.
Take or send flowers to hs gravesite on the day of. If you have a little something of his (a pin, or even a photo), tie it into your bouquet holder or carry it sewn into your gown seam.
Make some little gesture, but on the other hand don't turn your wedding into a memorial service.
2007-01-15 11:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister just recently got married, and her husband's mother passed away. He had an easel with her picture up near the front row, as if she was there. During the reception, he made a toast and told everyone the story about his mother and how he always wanted her to be there on his wedding day.
2007-01-15 14:32:14 · answer #6 · answered by ~ Inny & Coors ~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At my wedding we had a candle made in memory of my husbands parents, we set it next to our unity candle and let it burn throughout the ceremony. Then at the reception we put the candle back out along with a picture of them on a table by the front door.
2007-01-15 04:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by sweetjenv23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several folks I know light a candle just for their family member(s) that is not in attendance. No one there has to know what it is for, just you and/or your other half. Have it set on the piano or somewhere where it can be seen in a decrotive place. No feelings get hurt and your father is included in your special day. Good Luck!
2007-01-15 01:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by pagudus6669 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What about a special rememberance candle? Have his name put on it, whether it be in glitter or what not. Or have a little place set aside for those who have passed, that way no1 will be offened because it could be anyone who's departed. A pic. might be a little upsetting, but it's your wedding hun!
2007-01-15 03:23:26 · answer #9 · answered by Chey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mention him in your speech, just to acknowledge him. Most Christan religions specially catholic have a pray of the faithful ask the priest if you could include your father in here. You could include a candle ceremony. Normally there are three candles one for the couple with their names on it, one each for the parents with the other families name on it. So the one with your family name goes to your hubby's family and vice verse you could add a fourth candle with you and your hubby's name as well as your fathers and have them all lit through the ceremony, Your hubby could accept that candle as he is marrying his daughter.
Hope you find away.
2007-01-14 23:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋