My wedding is too small!?

Question

I've got about 26 people at my wedding with 3 kids. Since I was little I always wanted the big church wedding but my partner and I are just hardworking normal people who couldn't afford it. We have everyone that matter though. (except my dad who passed away last year) My mum keeps saying it's too small to be a traditional wedding and doesn't think there should be a bridal waltz or bouquet toss. I want to keep it as traditional as possible but can any of you guys think of what would be effected by not having a lot of people? I"m so worried it's just going to turn in to a p*ss up. Also I want to have a place set for my dad at the table even though he's gone. Mum doesn't agree.. What do you guys think?( If you couldn't already tell, my mother has kind of taken over a little but she's helping financially so I'm happy to humor her)

Answer 1

It shouldn't matter how many people attend your wedding. So long as they all are important and mean something to you. But more importantly, you are marrying the one you love. We had 40 people attend our wedding, and we couldn't have had a better time. Anyway, I had a friend that invited 200 guests to her wedding.......50 showed up to the wedding and OVER 200 came for the reception and food. It goes to show you who your true family and friends are. You may not have the biggest dream wedding ever, but remember to make it fun and remember what it's really for. Enjoy the "small and little" things in your life. They add up to so much more! Congratulations to you and good luck!

Answer 2

Well you actually can have a big church wedding. For the reception why not have someone host a BBQ at their house? So that way you dont have to rent a venue to have your reception. Also do a local grocery store to make your wedding cake instead of going to a fancy bakery. That would cut cost as well. NO YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE A PLACE SETTING FOR YOUR DAD! TO HONOR YOUR FATHER YOU SHOULD LIGHT A CANDLE FOR HIM DURING THE CEREMONY. YOU CAN BUY CANDLES FOR THAT. Dont let your mom take over too much then it will be more like her wedding and less like yours. NO its not too small to be a traditional wedding You can still have a bridal waltz and a bouquet toss.

Answer 3

Although my wedding has been postponed, we are planning a very small one as well, because most of our family won't attend (too far to travel etc) and we cannot afford a huge "do". I think that smaller weddings can have everything that big weddings can, for example why not toss the bouquet? I don't see the size of the wedding party being an issue for that. Yes you should have a first dance as a married couple, and I am sure it won't turn into a "p-ss up" as you put it!! It is your wedding, and you must do what you want or you will have regrets about it.

Answer 4

I think you can do the bridal waltz and throw the bouquet?? Why not, I have been to very small wedding like 6 people and they still did it!!
The place setting is a little strange. I would have a candle for him- normally you light it in the church for remembrance but if you are not getting married in a church, you could do it at the recepition to.
My girlfriend eloped and she only had 3 people there and she still throw the bouquet and danced.

Answer 5

I attended a backyard wedding two days ago. I almost moved to tears as the bride walk down the isle (ie the strecth between her kitchen and her bird bath). That was a beautiful wedding no matter what anyone say.

By the sounds of it, you will have a beautifull one too. Small but cosy means everyone is looked after and included. So that's very important. Bridal walts also ok. Get everyone to stand around you when you're dancing.

The only thing affected by the lack of people would be the dance after the party. To avoid the awkward emptiness of a dance floor, if you can, do a lunch time wedding with chill out music like reggae so people are happy to stand around and chat as oppose to waiting for a pumping music to get them going...

Answer 6

Your mother should remember that this is your wedding and you should be able to have and do what you want, regardless of the fact that she is helping you financially. Most parents pay for their children's weddings anyway if they can afford it. If you want your bridal waltz and the throwing of the bouquet, then have it. Even with 26 people it can still be just as much fun as it would be with larger numbers. Where your father is concerned, while ever he is your mind and heart he will always be with you no matter where you are.

Answer 7

The only thing that may be different is the size of your bridal party. In a big wedding, you can get away with having more attendants, however, in a small wedding, you may just want to leave it at 1 or 2.

And the recpetion will be lower key. Obviously - a DJ or band would be overkill for 30 people.

But you can have music, and dancing, and all the things that "big" reception has.

And best of all...you'll actually get to visit all your guests.

and regarding your father...I think setting an empty wouldn't be my choice for honoring him. But that is just me - I've never liked that, but it doesn't make it wrong. There are other ways to honor him - see your other posting.

It will lovely!!

Answer 8

Congratulations!! I can't think of anything traditional that is affected by having 26 people. I also don't think people are going to be offended or upset if you set up a place for your father. These are all people who love and care about you and would understand you feeling the need to include your father in whatever way feels right for you. Talk to your mother though as she may not think it is a good idea as she may be uncomfortable about the reminder of her love lost at your wedding. You may need a heart to heart and come to some compromise that includes your father but makes you both happy. Best of luck for your day - it will be beautiful!

Answer 9

Having that amount of people you can make your wedding beautifully, intimate by making sure your guest feels privileged to be there. I didn't think you should have a palace at the table for your dad, but you can include him in the speech, dedicate a song to him that people can dance to. You can keep the traditional stuff, You could relases doves or butterflies see how much it cost for all the guest to release one.

Answer 10

I think it's nice you are humoring your mother. But don't allow her to take over as you will be sorely disappointed in the long run.

I have conducted ceremonies where there was no more than me & the couple. That's all you really need. And if you want to dance at your reception; dance.
If your mom doesn't want a picture of your father ( it might be too upsetting to her) then have your officiant pay tribute to him during your ceremony. Discuss it with her/him.