if you are burnt out, can you fix yourself, what do i do?

Question

i've been caring for a close friend with borderline personality i have watched her struggle and been blamed for it all, i have been struggling with my own problems, including depression and grief from losing too many people over the last few years, I've recently moved house and now after only 3 months i have to find another place to live and i can't afford anything, my own mother doesn't even have a clue who i am any more and spends most of her time telling me how much of a fool i am for the decisions i have made, in particular supporting my friend with bpd who i love dearly and could never have walked away from, or mum spends time blaming me for not being there at my grandfathers death or just yelling at me in general. lol you name it, i have way too many reasons to be burnt out. let's just say i am exhausted and struggling to keep on living right now. i don't want to fall i need to fix this before it is too late. if it helps i'm 22 so not just a school kid trying to grow up this is

real i need help badly.

oh yeah i have also been blamed for my best friend's suicide attempts, do you have any idea how that feels. i can't even begin to explain the pain attached to that. i am so tired and there is nothing left but pain and emptiness.

Answer 1

Either learn to set good boundaries and follow through, or ride the roller coaster with your friend. I too have a relationship with a friend with BPD, however I am clear what I can and cannot do with and for her.

I have a good understanding of the disorder and am able to maintain a level of distance and seperation between seeing her as a person and what is the disorder. She has improved alot over the years and the relationship is tolerable.

It is not uncommon for people with this disorder to seek rescue in many forms. Your best bet is to not engage in this and to help her discover who she is. I have always thought Search for the Real Self was the best book out there written about this disorder.

Oh yes... and if you decide to stick it out with her, absolutely, positively get support for yourself. Don't try to handle it alone. You will get burned out.

Answer 2

If you can't take a break from a heavy workload, try this;
Turn off your phone, pack something to eat and drink, dress appropriately to the weather, go find a tree that you can sit under. Make yourself comfortable and stay there for at least 1 1/2 hours.
Trees have the ability to absorb negative energy, any spiritual healer will tell you this.
Purchase a small clear quartz crystal and hold it lightly in your hand when you feel stressed.
Book a massage.
Try meditation, works wonders and with training you can use it anywhere. I like to imagine a small bubbling brook with a soft patch of grass next to it where i can sit when things get to me.
Finally, be careful not to take on other's worries.

Answer 3

well more info would help, do you mean in a career? I went through a tough time with that, spent 17 years in the same field and saw it all and lost my passion for it. It means it's time for a career change and that's how to "fix yourself"

Answer 4

depends on what you are burnt out from, but usually taking a step back and looking at the situation why you are and taking some you time, but you are in contorl of your own happiness and if you are burst out chances are you are really not that happy

Answer 5

something different