for carers of people with a mental illness?

Question

does anyone else ever feel so completley helpless and useless when you see the suffering of a loved one with a mental illness and you can do nothing to take away the pain. Is anyone else feeling exhausted and mentally drained because of caring for a person with a mental illnes. do you then feel selfish because you are too tired to help even if you knew how to?

do you feel angry and unable to comprehend how and why there is so much pain in this world. does it frustrate you that beautiful people are destroyed by a stupid and totally unfair illness

I am so tired, there is nothing left anymore.

Answer 1

Your feelings are perfectly normal. There are so many good books to read about being a Caregiver. I wish you luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

It is a very big responsibility and you have shown you are an amazing person to do such a thing for another person even if you do feel exhausted and too tired to help at times.
There are a lot of books you can find on amazon about caring for people with mental illnesses you can at times have a nurse come to your home to help out and there are even care facilities that will take people who are unable to care for them selves for a while while you have a break and get a weekend or how ever long you need to relax.
It is a big job there are options out there talk to your doctor about it and get some books that may give you tips on coping
best of luck to you

Answer 3

There r plenty of medicines out there that counteract the symptoms of mental illness, that r capable of restoring the person to a functioning level. Mental illness is no longer an untreatable illness. As long as the person stays on their medication under the supervision of a psychiatrist, mental health can be restored in most cases.

Answer 4

Being a carer for anyone with a disability of any kind is a soul weary job. It is important to care for yourself first and foremost. If you are not healthy in mind body and emotions then you can't do the caring that is required of you. It is important to organise to take a break from caring from time to time. It is also important to have boundaries as well.

It is not selfish to simply say "No.. I can't do what is required." It is important to ensure someone else is there to take over for a little while so you can take the break you need.

Talk to your GP about respite options. It will take a while to organise regular respite but it is important to do so for you and for the person you are caring for.

I resisted the idea of respite for my daughter (She has a severe acquired brain injury) for a long time because I felt it was my duty to be there for her no matter what then one of her class mates (also with a severe acquired brain injury) at school lost his mother and the classmate was placed in fulltime care and he was not used to having anyone care for him but his mother so he pined away and I realised that as much as I wanted to be there for my daughter I could not guarantee her that I would be there for all of her life so I was doing her no favours by not seeking respite for her. She needed to know that other people could care for her too. She needed to regularly be somewhere other than home so she could be more resilient and more emotionally able to cope if and when I died.

Answer 5

Yes, I do! I have dealt with those feelings on two levels since I am a psychologist and also the mother of a beautiful adoptive 10 year old son with bipolar disorder. In fact, I began to feel so helpless in the face of the devastation of severe mental illness that I went back to school and obtained an advanced degree in my religion and became a minister rather than a practicing psychologist. One of the most painful things for me, as a parent, is to really comprehend the future that MAY await my child. Although it is very true that medications can alleviate many of the symptoms of major mental illnesses, they are powerful medications and each has a host of side effects. The mentally ill person may stop taking medications because of these side effects. Non-compliance with prescribed medication is a major problem with people who are mentally ill, too, as is abuse of alcohol and street drugs.

But MY feeling helpless and useless does not address YOUR feelings of helplessness and uselessness as a caregiver to someone you love who has a mental illness. You sound so stressed-out you are close to burn-out! You need to take some time out just for yourself, without being concerned for the welfare of the person for whom you are the primary caregiver for a while. There are governmental organizations as well as some non-profits that provide respite care for caregivers to allow you regular times to attend to yourself. Perhaps you can check out the availability in your area of these resources through your local mental health association, the Department of Mental Health in your area, or the treating psychiatrist of your loved one. Apart from taking regular time off for yourself, you sound as if you might need to engage in supportive psychotherapy to learn some new coping skills for yourself as well. Regularly attending to your own emotional and psychological needs is an important component of caregiving as well. You don't need a major diagnosis to see a therapist. The situational stress that you are experiencing and your need for new coping skills and stress alleviation would be the focus of short-term treatment. Attend to all of your own personal needs, such as your physical health, your spiritual/religious life, and recreational needs to ensure that you have a life apart from the pain you are experiencing as a caregiver. Balance in your own life is essential when you deal with the consuming neediness of a person who is so ill.

Good luck with it! Please realize that the role that you are taking on is often thankless but a very important one. I hope that you will be able to see, in the midst of all the suffering, the beauty of the love and compassion that people can have towards each other. For all the suffering in the world, there is also beauty, wisdom, love and compassion as well. It is sometimes difficult to see when you are face-to-face with such devastation but when you are able to get a better perspective on the world, you will see that it exists. You are one of the people that makes it true because the love and compassion that you demonstrate as a caregiver prove that it exists.

Answer 6

i am retired mental health professional for 30 years. my brother was bi polar. i spent a lot of time and worrying about him. i had him admitted twice for help. after he stopped taking his medication he killed himself. i knew exactly how to help him, and even with all my experience, i could not help him. i felt more sadness than anger, but i realized from my experience that it is still the life of the person, with the mental illness, not mine. i also felt drained and useless, but realize that i did all i could. u sound like a caring person, but don't let it get to you. don't forget about yourself, you are also important. all you can do is the best you can, for the person, and don't feel selfish about it, because you have a life too. i worked with the mentally ill for 30 years, and most did OK , because they accepted their limitations and their illness, and made the best of their lives they could. and so should you. you also have to remember that sometimes it feel like a thankless job, well it is not, you are important to that person, and your time caring, is well spent. hope this helps.

Answer 7

Yes,but all you can do is be patient and pray alot. I know it is hard to watch a loved one suffer. But when you cannot do anything about it,that's when you rely on God. I know..I am in the same boat with ya...God Bless and hang in there!!

Answer 8

work for the postal service