Is 22 too young to have a baby?

Question

I like doing everything young!! I bought my first house when I was only 18, and I'm still living there and doing it up now. I've been with my 27 year old boyfriend for 5 years and still get that funny feeling in my tummy when he walks into a room! We have 2 beautiful cats named Nesbit and Pepsi but we would both love to have a baby! I'm worried that because I'm young, I don't have the life experience to pass on to a baby. Is love and a happy secure home enough for a child? I'm happy to make the necessary sacrifices expected when you have baby from a social and personal aspect and understand that there will be a lot of strain on me and my relationship. I have a lot of family support, but not a lot of experience with babies!
Any advice or examples of personal experiences would be appriciated!! Thanks xxx

Thank you so much for all your advice!!
A lot of you mentioned marriage, and me and my partner are engaged and planning on getting married later this year.
Again, thank you so much guys, love to you all and your babies!!

Answer 1

Not as such, but be sure you BOTH want a child, be fore you spring it on him.

Answer 2

Oh Honey... you are gonna be just fine. People that have never even held a baby become great parent's. I had my first when I was 20. I had been married for almost a year when we got pregnant. I had had some life experience, but not tons. It's not like your life stops and you don't experience anything else after you have a child. If anything, your life grows so much more. You get to experience these things with your child, through fresh eyes, teaching and exploring with them. A lot in instinct too! Your common sense and motherly instinct kicks in so fast! I just had my second little girl 2 months ago, and I am 23. Sometimes I wish I would have waited till I was a tiny bit older, but only if I could have the EXACT same children. They are my heaven! Fiona is 3 and Bridget is 2 months. To me, the best thing you can give a child is love and a happy secure home, and I think you are way ahead of the curve on that. You sound intelligent and secure, and that you have a lot of love to give. You understand, at least in essence, that having a baby changes EVERYTHING! But if you think you are ready, they are worth every change! I hope you make a good decision, and I wish you the best of luck! You sound ready to me.

Answer 3

Hope not!! My son will be two at the end of January and I will be 24 in March. Like you I have tended to do everything younger, and although it is hard as obviously you do not have the financial stability that you may have in later life you have so much love time and energy to give instead! When I fell pregant I was very worried, despite having been with my partner for 4 years ... I like you had never really had a lot of experience with babies but when he came something just clicked in to place. There is an obvious strain on a relationship as your world basically turns upside down but I really believe it doesn't matter if you have been together 5 years or 25 years its a natural occurance and with support you can get through it! Wishing you all the luck x

Answer 4

I was 18 when i had my first and it wasn't planned.... but now I have 3 and one on the way, at fist I was feeling a little overwhelmed and terrified as I planned to go to university and everything and become a teacher and I didnt have any savings and was living at home... I still dont have any savings the children sort of get anything I have left, but I passed my driving test at 23 and now i'm 27 and and have been an ICT teacher for nearly 5 years.

If you are worried that your too young then your proberly more worried what other people think... or are you worried about the, as you put it, lack of experience.

I had a lot of experiance from babysitting - so if any of your family or friends have babies or young children offer to babysit with your partner, you could even have the child over to stay with you over night (if possible) , and give them a chance to go out.

And about the life experiences it sounds like you have plenty to me... you've bought your own home, got pets and hopefully you'll have had a baby, being a parent is about learning as you go and teaching your child how to love, be friendly, and strong in their own life decisions. With the sound of it you can do all this and more.

You can still get plaenty of life experiences when you have children...

Don't leave it too late like some women and couples have done(experience - family members left it too late)

You have the enthusiam and drive now and belive me you'll need it... I also think of it like this - when I'm 40-50 i'll be young enough to enjoy my grandchildren as well. Theres still plenty of time to get experience even if you start trying for a baby now.

Hope this helps and Good Luck!

Answer 5

22 is not too young to have a baby. You have a home, a boyfriend, family support and seem to understand that this is going to be a huge life changing responsibility. Go to the library or bookstore and get some books on parenting. Then if you still think you're ready, get some more books on pregnancy.

You don't need to have a lot of experience to have a baby. Your motherly instincts will kick in. That's not true for everyone, but it sounds like you're pretty together. Just remember that you are young and have plenty of time if you don't feel you're ready. If there is anything you really want to do, do it before the baby comes. Your relationship will be strained, you will be short on sleep, and your patience will be tested like never before. Having children is one of the most rewarding jobs you will have, and is by far going to be the most challenging. I have 3 kids and they are my full time job 24/7, 24/7, 24/7.

I'd also consider marriage before having a baby. I know that may sound silly, but I got pregnant in college and wouldn't marry my husband (the father) until I finished college. Now that I look back, I wish I had married him sooner. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

I had my first child at 22 (now I'm 30 and have three!). I would say that my experience is that there are pros and cons to having a child at this age.

Although of course life experience is a valuable thing to have, at the end of the day a baby really needs a loving, secure environment and to be warm, dry and well-fed. Having a young child can sometimes be physically exhausting, at times I have wondered how women in their 40's manage it. And of course you are in prime physical condition to have a child at 22, which means you've less chance of suffering complications with your pregnancy and delivery.

It's not for everyone, but for my husband and me, we're glad we've had our children young - having a child is a steep learning curve no matter what age you are. People will argue that you should enjoy yourself while you're young, go on holidays, out for dinner, etc. etc. and settle down later, but for younger parents, these times will return when their children are older and I'll only be 40 when my eldest child turns 18.

However, it would be wrong to say that there have never been times that I've wished we could have spent a bit more time just the two of us - or maybe achieved a bit more with our lives before having a family - for example I have only just passed my driving test, I should have done that years ago. Having young kids is tiring and stressful and definitely does cause a bit more friction between you and your partner - sleep deprivation and stress causes frayed tempers in any household - so you are right to say that there will at times be strain on your relationship. But forwarned is forearmed as they say, all the best whatever you decide (but it kind of sounds to me like you've already made your mind up).

Hope it goes well,

Meg

P.S.: My cat is called Pepsi too! :-)

Answer 7

You sound very grounded and stable person. I don't see why you shouldn't follow your heart and have a baby with the man you are so happy with. you have a home and sounds like good direction in life. you are realistic that having a baby is life changing and hard work and that is so true. there is a lot about having a baby that people don't talk about but i think you'll do just find. remember to always communicate with your partner. men tend to take a bit longer to adjust to the new way of life. it took my other half 8 months to get the hang of it. my baby is 10 1/2 months now and everything is great. it's been quite a journey though. Go for it, you'll love it. once you've got to grips with the life changing experience, it's the best thing in the world. i love my little boy so so much and i think the whole thing has made us better people. best of luck!

Answer 8

I want to say yes and no. I have a 3 year old and an 11 month old. I married at 18. I got pregnant at 19. Got the house at 21. Got pregnant again and had my son at 22. I am 23 now, and I wish I would have waited. I never did the whole clubbing and bar scene thin, mainly because I was always with my children. I graduated from college and I work. I think you should wait for 2-3 more years. It feels like you're ready, but when that child is 3 and throwing terrible tantrums, testing the limits, and not listening, it can be really hard. You love your children, but you also have to be ready to be able to deal with that. I wish you luck either way.

Answer 9

Hi sweetie...

I know exactly how you feel. I'm about to turn 22 in 2 weeks and I feel the same way. I've always done things young in my life too... I moved out of home at 17, worked full time now for 6 years and I'm also studying part time at university. Its a lot of work and I feel I'm ready for something more meaningful in my life. And I also have 2 cats (Cleo and Kitkat). I can't think of anything more exciting than bringing a baby into this world... One of my good friends is married with two kids and she's only 21. She's doing just great... I see how great she is with her kids. The love and support & devotion. Thats what counts. If you can provide those things, your halfway there. Your instincts will come into play once he or she arrives.

I wish you all the very best.

Hope you let us all know how this story ends..

Lots of love your way

Answer 10

hello i can totally understand why you are asking this question because its such a big choice to make!
i was 16 when i had my daughter and now i am 22 although i admit as mum i have made mistakes with my life as well as my daughter but she is growing up to be a well balanced little girl! i i have also so done things at young age i left home at 14 i left school when i was 15 had my daughter at 16 and at 20 i bought my house some people just are ready for responsibility in there life some are not.
i think that what ever age you are your going to make mistakes but as long as the children are put first they will be fine.
i also recommend that as your unsure what to do and say that you lack experience with children and baby's you should ring some local nursery's and offer to do some voluntary work they will show you some skills you need and after a few days with baby's you will know what to do.
if you decide to have a child once your pregnent ther are classes you can go to to learn about diffrent aspects of bringing up yor child.
i think that you are ready you sound like you have already put lots of thought into it.

good luck

Answer 11

No it is not. You sound like you will give this baby everything he/she needs. Go for it, motherhood comes a long instinctively. Once you have the baby, you will know exactly what to do. There are people out there younger that are having kids.

I was only 16 when I had my daughter and now 9 years later, I am pregnant with baby number two. Even if I had a child all ready, I still somedays wonder if I will be a good mother or not.

If yo and your boyfriend love eachother and trust one another, then I would say yes.