Everytime i visit my inlaws i feel like a complete idiot sitting there with nothing to say. They are nice enough but after the initial greetings (how are you? etc etc) i can't find anything to talk about and my fiance does the rest of the talking while i sit there feeling stupid. I hate feeling like a snob cause i really like his family but i am terrible with conversation. please help me as my fiance is beginning to think that i don't like them.
2007-01-14 19:58:24 · 10 answers · asked by MistiQ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You feel uncomfortable and uneasy because you feel like you are on display and being judged. You are. Your uneasiness is because you are picking up their feelings that you are not good enough. Don't take it personally. This is very normal for parents that are closed minded and possessive of their "child". Just smile and nod a lot. Let them do the talking. Eventually they should come around. Just don't let their behavior question who you are and what good qualities you have. Stand up for yourself in a quiet and non-defensive way. Sharing your feelings with your fiance is good; but don't be critical of his/her parents. It would not be a good thing to make your fiance take sides.
2007-01-14 20:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by danaluana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my future in-laws. I think they are lovely and I Love them but we are very different people with very different interests! I keep a note of interesting things I have seen or done or any good jokes I have heard and then bring them up for conversation. News or things you see on television can help as topic starters - if you know things that they are interested, keep an eye out for any interesting information you could share with them. For example, my partners father is a mechanic so if people tell me about problems with their cars or issues they have had with other mechanics, I will mention this and then he starts chatting away about stuff that he knows and is interested in (although it doesn't always keep me captivated lol). I hope this helps. Good Luck!
2007-01-15 04:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by milljanni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn how to juggle. When you can't think of anything to say, open your purse, take out the little rubber balls and do it. Personally, I would prepare a monologue and then perform it while I juggled. Start small with a 5 minute presentation. Try talking about Meerkats, or other kinds of land mammals. If they don't warm up to you, try working a hula-hoop into the routine. They will probabaly loosen up after that.
2007-01-15 04:05:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you I have been there done that couple times. Ask everyone if they would like to go out to dinner and maybe ask your fiance what are they interested in. My recent bf's family was similar to your in-laws. Maybe offer to cook or set the table etc. Look them in the eyes and smile ask how was there day etc. It might help the tension wear down.
2007-01-15 04:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by tinker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should show him your yahoo question. Maybe they need to talk to you. This goes both ways. I have a new family and When I get bored at their house, I just fall asleep on their sofa. I really dont care if they like that or not. Ok, I am older than you and I quit worrying a long time ago about things like this.
2007-01-15 04:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem when I first met my boyfriends family. It took time and over time we found things to talk about. We asked questions about each other, movies, books, music etc. Try finding common ground. Maybe you like to do some of the same activities.
2007-01-15 04:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by mustang_cheryl79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what their interest are....what kinda of work, look around the house what kind of decorating did they do?
Talk about anything positive that involves your fiance...nothing embarrassing....proud and positive (so they know you are interested in their son) Dinner....The mom made it....oh this is so good how did you make it type thing. You'll have to teach me, if you don't mind that would be so nice.....
Flow with it go with it...............
Best wishes
2007-01-15 05:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask them what your fiance was like as a child if they have any funny stories to tell about him and best of all pictures all parents love to talk about thier children and you can ask them about some of his favorite foods and the recipe to make them and you can tell them some things about you and your family and let them know that you are a little shy around them and they will understand.But I bet that when you start asking them about their son you wont have to do much talking.
2007-01-15 04:08:49 · answer #8 · answered by shelly f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I'm talking to a couple (they will appreciate the intimacy), ask the magic question.
"So, how did you guys meet?"
With that, you have rolled the dice. You are in for either a hilarious evening, or a 4 hour snoozefest. Still, it's better than nothing.
If you still need fuel, ask embarrassing things about your fiancé's childhood, like what he looked like in preschool. Ask to see pictures! One thing parents absolutely love is talking about their kids.
2007-01-15 04:03:35 · answer #9 · answered by John C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn a little more about them..found if you have anything in common with them and go from there....if they had a problem with that im sure your fiance would have mentioned it!!..If not don't let it get to ya...they will get to know u!!
2007-01-15 04:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by confused69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋