Should a grandmother have the right to verbally discipline or correct her grandchildren ?

Question

My son is trying to tell me that it is his and his brother's turn to be parents and that I have no right to tell their children what to do. I do not agree with this especially when the parent has a problem setting boundaries.

Answer 1

i dont think advising the children is wrong, but beating them or shouting them is the duty of their parents... it is not the question of rights.. put yourself in your sons place would you like your parents hiting your kids..i am sure the answer is no... so same with them......

Answer 2

I'm a parent in the exact situation your son is in and I'm going to tell you how I feel about it. Sorry if I come off harsh--this is a subject that has really been on my mind lately.

I say if you are babysitting in your house, you set the rules. That's fine. If you are the only one that sees the child about to stick a fork in the electrical socket, scream "no", absolutely. But I have to tell you, as a parent, I do not appreciate the grandparents correcting my son and telling him what to do and when to do it when I'm right there. I'm the parent and if I think he needs to eat the rest of his meal I will tell him.

There are different methods of disciplining. One person may set boundaries that others see as too lenient. In my situation, we try to ignore the behavior that we don't want to see, and praise the behavior that we like. It works very well for us and our son. I don't need his grandparents to come into my house and start "verbally disciplining" him. I will discipline him when and how I see fit. Period. It only serves to confuse the child when the methods of discipline differ from person to person.

Personally, I think you should heed your son's wishes. It's true, it is his turn to be the parent. Maybe you should ask your son what his rules for the behavior of his children are, and his methods of discipline are so that everyone can be on the same page.

Answer 3

I think so, not only because it really does take a village to raise a child, but also because the Grandmother is the parent that was there first. My son will listen to his grandparents often times quicker than he will listen to me, his mom. I think that without my parents helping me and guiding me through this time, I would feel lost. Now, that also means that the discipline does not need to be different than what the parent agrees with, you don't want to confuse the child by one person saying no to something and another not saying anything. I think that if you are all on the same page, then it helps the child and the parent.

Answer 4

If the children are in your house. Then yes. But, if you are over there visting, then no. I think that if any children are in my house, and they are acting up, I will verbally discipline any child. It's my stuff & I don't want anything broke. I would though, wait a minute and let your son know what is going on, before you step in. If he nor his wife do anything then by all means, put that child in his place. If the parents are not there, do it instantly.

I had a problem with my mother on the same topic. I did not like anyone disciplining my child without me knowing. But, as time goes by, I realize that my children need to know that they need to learn to respect all adults not just the parents!

I hope this helps. I wish you good luck with your son & grandchildren!

Answer 5

I discipline my own children and set their boundaries but when my children are at relatives houses i make sure they follow my boundaries and that they abide by the rules of the house of the person they are at. My parents discipline my children if they break their rules. Children need to know that other people have rules and consequences for them not just mum and dad. So yes i do think grandmothers have a right

Answer 6

I think that a grandmother has every right to verbally correct her grandchild in your own home. Not in the child's home as that could be crossing the boundary, I think, unless you see something dangerous and need to stop it in it's tracks.
I had a problem when my father smacked my 2 year old on the hand until he cried for dropping (intentionally)peas on the floor.I was standing three feet away at the sink. My husband was so angry about it that we left immediately.It was their house but I don't think he should have smacked him for this and also I was in the room and could have dealt with it.
it's a fine line sometimes, especially when you can see that the parents are too lenient or on the other hand too strict. But it is their child and they have chosen the way to bring it up even if that is different to your own upbringing of them.
As to your question you should be able to say something when you see something wrong, the child will respect you and your home.

Answer 7

I think this is a reflection of how you disciplined your son, that now is being reflected on the way he disciplines his child. It's very common grandparents feels to discipline their grandchild. You should remember also, the time change. Life is some how different from the time you were parenting and maybe they are trying to do things, the way is done these days.
I don't think it would hurt, if you help them by providing some advices. It is hard to watch things getting wrong or bad, knowing exactly how to make things right and not have the right of doing it, but it seems to be something, you will have to learn to relate, or discipline yourself not to do too.

Answer 8

Grandparents who are not babysitting a grandchild should allow the parents to discipline the children. I am a grandmother who watches the grandkids while their parents work but the instant the parents are home they take over. They are the parents children and grandparents need to allow the parents to discipline the kids. Even if they dont do what you think they should its not your place to do anything the parents dont want you to - so back off Grandma!!

Answer 9

If the kids are at your house and not behaving properly and the parents are doing nothing about it then you certainly have a right to say something, otherwise try to stay out of it because it could cause problems. You could always buy a book on parenting and discipline and casually leave it at their house the next time you visit and maybe they will take the hint.

Answer 10

in case your corrections are over-stepping what the confirm has been attempting to instruct or bobbing up an impediment for his or her authority, then you rather are doing some thing incorrect. in case your "training" is going to reason a riff between you and your grandchildren or little ones, than you're additionally making a mistake. even although, i don't see something incorrect with a grandparent taking value of a baby at a similar time as the baby is of their care, as long as that's understood that the confirm is the final authority. little ones do not belong purely to a confirm. They belong to their family members, their community, and their u . s .. we are all accountable to realize out and supply loving help and training as quickly as we are able to. If the educational is inflicting grief, the little ones in all danger won't earnings from it. they'd additionally be harmed by the rigidity over it. So perhaps you would be able to desire to tone it down, verify the mummy and dad see which you admire their authority, and supply your training in a greater gentle way so as that that's gained simply by fact the present that's meant to be.

Answer 11

Sure if your babysitting them, with out a doubt. However, your WAY overstepping your bounds if your trying to discipline your grandchildren in the presents of their parents. It's their turn to raise the children, just sit back and be the fun grandma.

Good Luck