I have a sister named Ash who is 4 years older than me. There's a problem. I am in love with Ashley's best friend Tom. My sis and Tom have been friends since highschool and that is also where I met him because we were all in the same school. As the years have gone by, I became a closer friend to Tom because Ashely let us all hang out and we became friends. I started to have a crush on him and after a few years it turned into love. I have never told him but he's in college now and is 'seeing a girl'. I have to stop him because I love him! I just know this is real love because I have never felt this way with anyone. I love him and he has no idea. I dream about him and I try so hard to stop myself but hes just a wonderful person & I cant. I have thought of every reason why me and him would never work and it has convinced me but I just can't stop myself from loving him! I mean it's been years! It's so hard to deal with it everyday. Do I tell him? Or do I go on secretly loving this man?
2007-01-14 18:10:33 · 16 answers · asked by brit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, this scares me only because, what if he does not feel the same way? You say he seeing someone. When you describe your feelings for him...I really feel you! I can really feel how much you love this guy! I just hope that he feels the same way about you or you are going to be crushed. How will you feel about that? Is that a risk you are willing to take? I guess at some point you will have to though, right? It seems that there really isn't a "right" time, so you might as well just do it. It would be so awesome if he felt the same way! Hopefully your sister would be understanding to the whole situation and you guys could all work things out...good luck to you sweetie!!!!
2007-01-14 18:18:57 · answer #1 · answered by jessteal2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, Melony for one thing he's just seeing a girl. It's doesn't mean he'll be taken forever.
The only way I'd advise you butting in, is if his relationship just started and you really feel as strongly as you do. Otherwise, you have to consider the consequences. For one, you're not in college with him. It's a new era in his life, and retaining a long-distance relationship during a time that your discovering new freedoms is hard. This is usually the time that a guy wants to date around and find the qualities in a girl that he likes the most.
But if you think Tom's not like that (since I don't really know Tom), then maybe you don't have much to lose for trying. Just be prepared, that's all.
2007-01-15 02:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by SirCharles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can truely answer this question, but here are some things to consider. From what I can tell from your post you must be fresh out of highschool. I had feelings that I thought was 'real love' at that age too, but later realized it was just raging hormones and wishful thinking. (***Don't get me wrong, I am not saying this is what you are feeling. I just wanted to throw that out there for consideration.) I think you need to talk with your sister about your feelings. Ash may be secretly in love with him too. Another thing you might think about is eye contact. When you are with him, does he maintain eye contact with you for extended periods of time or just look at you when the conversation requires it? This decision is something you must make on your own, but I do think that if he has decided to see another girl the only thing you can do is respect his decision and remain his friend. If his relationship with this girl falls apart, you will still be there for him. However, if he ends up staying with this girl and even marrying her, where do you want to be? Would you rather still be friends or not have him at all? You risk losing all contact with him at all if you interfere with his relationships. I agree with an earlier post that suggests he may see you as being 'off-limit' because you are the baby sister. But if his feelings for you aren't strong enough for him to overcome that, he probably isn't the right guy for you anyway. Hold off for someone who wants you as much as you want him. Do you want to know the secret to finding true love? Quit looking for it. Concentrate on finding good friends with good qualities. (Good Luck)
2007-01-15 02:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by thallibu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is he probably loves the girl he's seeing. You can't stop the love two people share. It's really selfish of you and the best thing you can do is move on. There's other boys in the world. Probably if his relationship doesn't work out with this girl, you should tell him a week after the break up. The worst thing about love is that we can pick the people we love, but not the people who love us.
2007-01-15 03:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Stephbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, just tell him! You never know, he might feel the same about you and might just be afraid to tell you as well! Go for it, unless you think if he says no, it will ruin the friendship. It might not, but you might end up with the man of your dreams. But then you might lose a friend if it does not work out. If you try to be friends after bf/gf does not work out, it never works, because things are weird.
2007-01-15 02:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell him.What good is it gonna do if u secretly keep loving him. let him know how u feel...and then the ball's in his court. Atleast u wont regret for the rest of your life that u didnt even tell the person u love that u ;loved him.And that maybe u guys wud've been together if u had.Dont hesitate...go ahead! Good luck
2007-01-15 02:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could do a little investigation first.
If Tom really loves this girl he is seeing, then don't tell him. Because that way you are just making trouble for him. If you really love someone, you should do what's best for him.
If Tom is just playing around, then I think you can go and tell him and see what happens.
Good luck.
2007-01-15 02:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by The Answerer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to take into consideration that he might not want to be friends with you after you tell him you love him especially since hes a little bit older than you and has a girl friend but if that doesn't scare you then do it
2007-01-15 02:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by THE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM TELL HIM TELL HIM
chances are, maybe he liked you too but you waited too long and he gave up
either that, or he just sees you as a little sister
if thats the case, he wont let you down rough because he respects you
either way, you win
and if you dont, youll be living life wondering why you didnt
2007-01-15 02:14:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him or you will forever regret NOT telling him. So he has a girl. Big deal. He might have the same feelings for you but just can't get himself to tell you so he gets a girl to make him not look gay. Tell him right now.
2007-01-15 02:15:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋