as i m vergin n soon gettin married but realy unaware about how to react first time. u know what i mean. i m realy scared about several things like the pain, my hubbys reaction and also about the pregnancy, as i dont want to use hormonal contaceptives pls guide me.
2007-01-14 17:33:43 · 7 answers · asked by vanice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you have to relax this is the person that you going to spend the rest of your life with! please always talk to him! don't hide your feeling from him, the way you start it the way it end!
2007-01-14 17:44:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's normal to be scared of something you don't know since this is your first time. Find out about the things you don't know so you could feel prepared and not so worry about it.
About pregnancy, read books about the best contraceptive suitable for you. I agree, don't use hormonal contraceptive if you intend to have kids later. Ask people, better go to the doctor, consult about the choices of safe contraceptions. Actually you have to ask your hubby his choices of contraception too.
About the pain, the more relax you are, the better you'll be. Don't think about it. Just have fun. Talk to your hubby, tell him to do it slowly because it hurts the first time. Do lots of foreplay to make it easier for you, use lubricant could help. Find a safe lubricant at your health store before your wedding day. And don't be scared, if it's still hurt the second time, or the third time, it WILL get better and easier along the way.
About your hubby's reaction, I don't know what reaction you're worry about. He would be excited.
Relax, your hubby is probably worrying about how to do it right the first time too. Hehe. It's all the part of a marriage, to find out things about each other together. Just have fun.
Congratulation on you soon to be married.
2007-01-15 02:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by Akai 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Relax, it doesn't hurt that much. Use lubricant too! It'll help. Just be natural and it will be okay. If you are worried about pregnancy, use condoms which are not as effective as hormonal contraceptives (condoms are 97% effective and the pill is over 99% effective), but should be fine and be sure to if you are using lube that it is a water based(as oil based lubes destroy the latex).
Can I ask why you don't want to use hormonal contraceptives? If it's a medical reason like there's a history of blood clots in the family, that's understandable, but 'the pill' is awesome! It reduces your chances for certain types of cancer like ovarian and uterine cancers, makes your period shorter and completely optional, helps with pms, clears your skin ect. A lot of people mumble about the pill, but it's a myth that it causes weight gain or abortions. It can have some side effects that either go away within the first 3 months or can be fixed by switching brands. Ah well. I suggest you talk to your doctor about it especially if you don't want to get pregnant any time soon.
2007-01-15 02:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't worry- you won;t be scared so much as nervous when it comes time. Chances are your Hubby to be is scared that he will hurt you too!
To help make it a more pleasant event please don't dream this amazingly wonderful experience of sex- because the first time is often clumsy and kinda funny in retrospect. The more amazing part of the evening is your togetherness.
Be open with your hubby- he will be your rock and you will be his till the end of time- and the key to the strength is honest/open communication.
For the pain- use Lube and try to relax (i have to say a few glasses of champers won't hurt either). Look into condoms for contraceptive- or maybe spermacide. SpeaK to your local family planning clinic to see whats available in your country.
2007-01-15 03:16:32 · answer #4 · answered by Isabel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww fist off all congratulations!!!!!!!
and well about that firts night actually you just have to get in teh mood there is nothing you should be scare of actually it doesn't hurt as much as they say,, i didn't even felt the pain you should know that; that momment was ment to happended,,, if your spouse to be knows that you are a virgin that he will help you,,, i at first didn't know much about that topic but all it takes its imagination... and been in teh mood,,, ohh for first night preferences its probably a tradition,, where a white color lingerie...make sure you smell nice,,, and set some candles around,,, it will be soo relaxing,, you will enjoy.... goodd luck...and congratulations!!!
and about contraceptives,, i'm not a fun of them either actually i tried the oral ones but they made me very sick,,, and well there wheren't anymore low dose one ,, so i have to go with a different method,,, ohh never ever use patches,, they are very dangerous and many doctors aren't prescribing them,, but try something like teh nuva ring,, if you do not want to get or be pregnet yet thats a safe way to go,, or tell him to use condoms.....
2007-01-18 16:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by Susette P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should see your doctor for advise, there are other was to avoid pregnancy. I'm sure your hubby to be will understand, it will be painful the first few times, but don't like that put you off.
2007-01-15 04:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you had sex education? I assume you know what parts go where?
Seriously, try to educate yourself about sex as much as possible. I realize for someone like you it seems a bit embarrassing having to learn about these things, but you won't really know until you try them for yourself. Sex should be an enjoyable experience for both parties. It may seem embarrasing now, but trust me. Take the time to learn about the options available to you. different positions, lingerie, sex toys, condoms, lubricant. All that stuff. It can be fun for the both of you to explore!
2007-01-15 04:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by Aries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋