My ex-husband and I share custody of my 8 year old daughter. He has primary placement and is a very good father. Last summer I went to Tx. to visit my father who just got out of surjury. He works everyday and left her with a friend. She was also babysitting her nephew. My daughter and I were watching T.V. tonight and something made her decide she needed to tell me that this little boy forced her into sexual activity. I know how children are with experimenting and all, but this went way beyond. She was crying while telling me that he told her if she didn't commit these acts that he would tell her father she did anyway. He forced her hand places on him and hurt her with penetration. She told his aunt who did nothing and so this continued thru the summer. I have no idea what to do. I have to tell her dad and because we don't get along i am afraid he will be more upset that she told me instead of him and not focus on the point. Soc. serv. is real bad here. What should I do?
2007-01-14 16:43:11 · 16 answers · asked by mist28nc 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Your top priority is the welfare of your daughter. Do you have a family doctor you can talk to? She may need to be examined to make sure she has not been injured, but talk to him/her privately first so the explanations dont have to be done in front of your daughter. Then you need to talk to her dad. You say he is a good Dad, so maybe you can start with something like.." You are a good Dad to (daughter) so I know this is going to upset you as much as it did me. She has been keeping a terrible secret to herself ever since she stayed at (friends) place. While she was there......" and tell him the story. Make a decision TOGETHER about what to do about it. Put all past differences aside, this little girl needs you both working together to help her emerge from what must be a nightmare for her. She is the top priority for both of you. The Aunt and boy also need to be made accountable, and that will happen but only after you help your little girl. Stay calm, stay focused on her welfare. All the best.
2007-01-14 17:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by lady jane 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This isn't social services issue, it's a police issue! Call the police and tell them what happened. Your daughter will probably have to tell them also, so prepare her and let her know that she didn't do anything wrong. Then go to court and get a restraining order for the babysitter and her nephew (that way your daughter can still see dad, but won't be in danger of them being there). I'm very sorry that this happened to your little girl. I have a 7 year old daughter myself and I don't know what I'd do if something like that happened to her.
2007-01-14 16:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by flisagrose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could talk to the aunt- in a non accusing way- I know that is hard to do in a situation like this. Make sure you document everything said, and document what your daughter has said. This makes things a lot easier. Make sure to date it. I would absolutely call the police.
This is a horrible thing. I would not take her back there. I'm a very sad this has happened to your daugher. You will probably need to take her for counseling. This can be very traumatizing for someone and she will needed someone to help her through with this. I know you are her mom, but she will probably need professional help. And the sooner the better.
2007-01-14 16:58:03 · answer #3 · answered by Happy Panda 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell social services and the police right away. It is your responsibility as a parent to do this. You did nothing wrong and will not be at risk for "losing your child"...An investigation will be done to verify your daughter's allegations.
Please take this matter seriously. Do not make more excuses ("her dad and I don't get along", "Social Services is bad"). Do what you can to protect your child, and get her into counseling ASAP. Failure to do so could result in the story coming out later, and then you would be guilty of failure to protect your child from continuing abuse.
2007-01-14 17:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by stazi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The one at fault is the aunt. By law, an 8 year-old cannot form intent. I think that she, or his parents/guardians can be held legally responsible for the acts of the boy toward your daughter. Your daughter needs to see a doctor to verify and record any physical injuries.
Contact your local police, they should know if you have a valid case for the prosecutor to pursue.
2007-01-14 16:48:50 · answer #5 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That story really made me rage. Those poor boys will have that with them the rest of their lives. They've been through a lot recently being called rapists and what not, all for a packet of sweets? For gods sake. They should definately get an apology and the girl should get a very stern talking to, that lies like that can get you into a lot of trouble. I agree when you say we always get made out to be the bad ones, this case shows that it's not always true
2016-03-28 22:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you informed your daughters father? i would definantly be reluctant to send her back to her fathers..if he left her in the care of such people that would allow these acts...not blaming him, yet still for the sake of your daughters safety i would contact a lawyer and take your husband back to court to get full custody of your daughter...let a judge know what has happened and let it go from there...if your husband works so much, perhaps he doesn't have time to take proper care of an 8 yr. old girl during the long periods she stays with him...if he is a loving father, as you say, he will do something about this himself...i certainly wouldn't allow her to go back...call your lawyer...
2007-01-14 16:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is going to be even madder if you contact the police without trying to speak to him first. Tell him that it was because you are female that she felt better telling you. That is was easier because it's such a touchy subject. I'd push for an immediate change in babysitters. Also there are governing agencies for child care providers. I'd report this to them and ask about getting police involvement. I think police involvement is required but they might be able to act on your behalf. The babysitter can be sued civally because she was paid to make sure that your daughter was taken care of and she wasn't.
2007-01-14 16:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by allisoneast 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should report this to your dept of family services!!! What if he does this to another little girl? You need to do something to get this boy the help he needs. Also I'd get your daughter into see a dr. Good Luck
2007-01-14 16:52:19 · answer #9 · answered by 2princesses 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Press charges against the boy, his parents and the aunt.
2007-01-15 03:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋