How can you plan a wedding with a control freak mother?

Question

I'm having a really hard time here. Any tips or help on how to handle this?

Answer 1

Pick your battles. It is the only way to survive and not hate each other. My mom has been married twice and has never had a wedding--you can imagine how nuts she went when I got engaged. It finally took us sitting down and picking priorities. For example, it was really important to her that we did a receiving line instead of going table by table. I could care less. For me, it was important that the flowers were orchids. Maybe you two should make a list of what you want most and see where you can compromise. My first two months of engagement were awful, but after we set some guidelines it worked out well and we both loved how the wedding turned out.

Answer 2

This is your wedding. The most important day in your life. It may sound harsh, but instead of letting your mother be a control freak, turn the tables and become the control freak yourself for your wedding. Tell her you will "think" about any advice she may have, but the ultimate decision is between you and your finance, not her. You want to remember that day for the rest of your life. Don't make decisions she wants, because you will regret it for not having spoke up. Now think a little down the road when and if you decided to have children. Is your mother going to tell you how to raise your child or what name you should give your baby? You have to take control yourself NOW. She will get over it and if she doesn't like the idea that you can think for yourself, well, too bad. If she is a control freak with you, is she going to be the same way with your husband? If that answer is yes, then I see a short marriage. Be kind to her in a firm way and take control of your own decisions. I had to do it and it worked. Only it was with my mother-in-law. ugh!

Answer 3

At least it is your mom and not your mom in law. As you plan remember your wedding is just a party. Your marriage is what is important. Let your mom have her way if it is on something that is not important to you. Try blaming things on your hubby. For example your mom insists on lemon filling in your cake but you want raspberry. Tell your mom that hubby is insisting on raspberry. Also maybe you could give your mom a project that she can control. It'll keep her busy researching photographers while you make your decisions on invitations, etc. Just don't let her stress you out and don't let her run the show. If she gets to run this shell feel entitled to run the rest of your life too. Good luck.

Answer 4

give your control-freak mother an ultimatum and all the points according to how YOU want it. remember it is YOUR wedding, not hers (unless she's sponsoring). if she won't turn up to your wedding, all the better! :)

if you want to please your mum and keep the peace, then get a wedding planner... but remember there is always a line to how much and how long someone can control you and what you do. if you don't blow up now, you will in the future... it's better now then later, so you can enjoy and live your life the way you want it...

Answer 5

This is where the Maid of Honor comes in... have her tell your mother what you really feel, only it will be "her" statements not yours. The MOH should be up for the task... I was, I had to deliver news to the parents of the bride an attempt to negotiate with them on what "I" thought would be best, since "i" specifically heard "the brides" vision to be.....ya da ya da ya da. Also offering the "this is the biggest day of "her" life and we want her to be happy.
IT was the roughest job ever, but the bride was happy and I have promised to never be an MOH ever again for anyone!!! lol Good Luck!!!

Check the link below... it helped us get through it!!

Answer 6

OMG i know what you are going through!!!!!!!!! happened to me.. all i can say is tell her how you feel sweetie... and let her know that she can get over you not doing it her way but if this relationship is truly the real thing you can never do it again for the first time........ just be honest with her and tell her its your day and ask her if she remembers her day .... every woman wants the wedding of there dreams ........ no reason why you are any different . now if she still chooses to be bossy are in control then tell her to back off!!!!!!! plzzz i regreted it for a very long time........ till this day to be exact ... believe me she will get over it!!!!!! i wish every day i could take that day back.....sorry sweetie truth is you cant ... make it was it is YOUR DAY !!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

I understand what you going through. If your motherr is paying for a large portion of the wedding the you need to compromise. Try and give her a certain task to do. Let her have one big item and that way you can control all off the othe major items.

Answer 8

What you can do is pick out two different things you like for each thing you need and then let her choose the final one. That way you will get something you like and she feels like it was her decision. She loves you and is just trying to help. She has been waiting for this day just like you have . Give the gal a chance.

Answer 9

The main thing to remember is this is your day...try to compromise with mom. .listen to her ideas and input and find a way that will make you both happy. If she wants to be in charge give her an in charge job like makeing sure your vendors are there on time and that everyone has RSVP'd tell her she will be in charge of a speciic detail...if that is not enough give her more jobs.

Answer 10

Can you afford to have a pro do it and/or a really good friend with experience. For the most part it is out of your mothers and yourself hands. (Just claim it, besides its your wedding and not hers.)

Mike