Is kissing someone else during a marriage split cheating?

Question

My wife and I have been split for 2 months due to an addiction that I am now getting help for. We are now back on speaking terms and want to work this out, but she just told me tonight that she has kissed another man, but it has not gone past that. Is this cheating and what should I do?

My wife and I have been split for 2 months due to an addiction that I am now getting help for. We are now back on speaking terms and want to work this out, but she just told me tonight that she has kissed another man, but it has not gone past that.
If you look at it from a legal perspective, until you get a separation agreement this is cheating. From a religious perspective, if you even look at another person in a romantic or sexual way that is not your spouse, then this is cheating. So, in your opinion, is this cheating and what should I do?

Answer 1

Be glad that she was honest and that it went no further than kissing. Now you have a marriage to work on! Good luck!

Answer 2

Technically, I would say definitely yes, that would be in my book, cheating. But on the other hand, if you are now getting help from an addiction, there may be a reason she turned to someone to make her feel wanted/loved. If she came clean to you - I would let it go and work on your relationship. When I went through a horrific time after the loss of my father, it was easier to relate to others as I needed to "escape" the life I was so miserable in - even though it had nothing to do with my husband. I didn't (fortunately), do anything with anyone but it was close - trying to get away from it all. If she has dealt with a bad addiction in you - one that made you someone she didn't recognize... I think you owe her credit for staying there for you and being honest. I think you should credit her for that and concentrate on getting better and really seeing your life with her how you would love it to be.

Answer 3

Well that's not the question you should be asking. The question you should ask is did your wife feel anything for this man? And, or does she love you more then any other. If you can get these questions then you're set. Honesty is the key to a better marriage. And if you still love your wife then you should forgive her. It was a mistake and by religious means, To forgive and for get. Love your partner as they do you, and you shall receive. Love your wife with all your heart and stay by her side and nothing will go wrong again.

Answer 4

Forgive her with your whole heart and soul. Remember that she was dealing with very major stuff during this time too. Your world wasn't the only one falling apart at the seams. Her's was too.

You were seperated from the "marriage" and as such both of you were free to seek other people. She kissed another man, I know that is very hurtful to you. But remember this, sweetie, it didn't go any futher. She stopped, and she is trying to make things work with you since you are now trying to get help.

I think you need to put this out of your mind, and go on with your lives. Stay on your treatment program, and forgive one another. So, you can live happily ever after. It's possible, she's giving you another chance, why can't you give her one too!

God bless us all.............

Answer 5

I think the bigger question is .........What did you do to the relationship while you were addicted? What damage did you cause? Are you really getting help and dedicating your life to making it better and making your relationship with your wife better?

In any other situation, I would say it is cheating, a short term seperation does not warrant you or your spouse to seek the attention of someone else.

But if you have caused her a great deal of pain because of your addiction and perhaps at one point she thought it was truly over..........then you need to cut her some slack and focus more on what you can do to regain her trust and save your marriage.

Answer 6

If you're on a 12 step program, apply the steps to this problem....get your wife to do the same. Personally I don't see it as cheating because you were separated at the time. She's been honest and shared with you....something that tells me she wants this to work out. I also think it's the least of your problems right now....don't let this cause you too much stress....you know how that can work out for you.

Answer 7

I'm going to get enough thumbs down to kill a gladiator for this answer But it's reall very simple: Until the moment you guys are legally divorced , you are still legally married and all the covenants both legal and religous are still in effect.
She is cheating and should be reminded that the contract is still in effect .
Good luck

Answer 8

You have to realize that along with your recent changes (congratulations) she too, has changed. The problems the two of you were experiencing and dealing with daily affected both of you. Not just you. She felt the need to tell you, and that is admirable as far as I am concerned. That tells me that she cares about your feelings deeply. If she has told you that it was just a kiss, and nothing more did, has or will develope from it, let it go and chalk it right up there under the list of your most recent problems to amend.

Answer 9

If your wife was able to find happiness with someone else then if your love is strong it will with stand this rocky road. I do not think that she cheated on you since you were on a break from each other. I break is meant to re-evaluate if this is the relationship that you still want to continue.

Answer 10

It is the beginning of cheating yes!!! I feel that you should be totally divorced before doing any of this. Finalize things first. Talk with her and when did she kiss another man was it before you wanted to work it out if not then let it go and tty to work it out with her.