Question for all the MATURE guys/men.?

Question

I know I dont have to have a guy to be happy..but I am just thinking that..because of all my mistakes in life..that I wont ever find one that will treat me right...I am 19 and about to have a baby..my ex and I just broke up..again..he treats me like crap and he blames me for everthing..I am scared that because I am 19 and because I am having a baby soo young..and all alone..that no guy would ever want to be with me...and take on the responsibility of being a father...or even care about my baby...does that quesiton make sense...so what I am asking to sum it up...is am I gonna be alone forever...or will I find a guy out there that will love me for me and accept and love my baby like she was his?? Please dont be rude...I am having a really rough day...so again PLEASE DONT BE RUDE. thanks in advance.

Answer 1

i think if you really find the right guy who loves you for who you are, he can deal with the fact that you've been hurt and that you have had a baby. i suggest you make the ex pay you child support, but otherwise, don't be desperate about trying to get him back. he's an ***. please don't approach guys immediately like you need someone to attach to, give them time and be nice, and they'll come to you. be sure you let them know what they're getting into and that you have had a baby, though. it would be a very nasty shock if you didn't tell them early.

Answer 2

I'm sorry if you were looking for an answer from a male..I just wanted to answer because I've actually thought about myself being in this situation before.

Why are you looking on the downside sweetie? Mistakes in life are inevitable. Just because you have made mistakes in the past, doesn't mean you can't find a man who treats you right.
In my opinion, there are two types of men. (When it comes to relationships)..
1. Self centered men who act like five year olds. Pessimistic about the relationship, or certain aspects of it. They ALWAYS think they're right, even when they know they're wrong..does that make sense? (I think you'll understand that statement if your boyfriend is like mine).
2. Men who wait to find the girl whom he can devote his whole to. Wants to do whatever makes you happy, etc...

All you have to do is wait for the right guy to come along..some men are too self centered to have a relationship..let alone a baby.

I have a guy friend who is dating a girl with a baby...well..
the baby's father is my guy friends ex friend. My guy friend wants to be there for the baby and the baby's mom. Some men can handle the responsibility, some can't.
Having a child does NOT mean you will be alone forever.
keep your head up.

Answer 3

First of all, don't ever look for a man to be a "father." I can tell you that this is going to be your dissapointment. Your child's father is responsible for supporting and caring for him/her. If you feel as if this person is not what you need in your life and doesn't bring you happiness, then you should make a decision to leave him. However this doesn't not laible for supporting his child. You, on the other hand should go as you would with your life. The right person will come along for good when the moment is right. At that point, you should only be concerned with him accepting the fact that you are a mother. If he doesn't, then he wouldn't be the right person for you. There are men who don't have any problem with dating someone who has children. If there wasn't there wouldn't be so many long term, unmarried couples. The only way I would see someone having a problem with you having a child is expecting them to be a "father" figure to your child, especially so soon in your relationship. If you decide to leave your current boyfriend based on the likelyhood of finding someone else don't go out to find a father for your child. Get on with your life just as you would in any other normal situation. The right man will come along when its time. You're only 19. Somewhere out there is a young man who has a child as well, but looking for companionship.Take care of your child. Your biggest expectations will be your biggest failures.

Answer 4

I am a female. I just had to answer your questions.
First of all, I commend you on your decision to take on the single mother role. I too was 19 when my daughter was born (23 years ago). I can offer you a part of my experience and advice. No one is this world is a failure at the tender age of 19. Your best years are ahead of you. Keep your head straight and work hard. As your child grows, those memories of his/her mother always working to better themself will lead that child by example. My daughter's father and I married young and divorced shortly after she was born. Her father did not speak with her until she was 16. And then, only for a short period. Gone again he was. Although I had a court order for child support, I never enforced. I worked hard and at the age of 28 I went back to school/college and continued a career in the legal field.
Several long term relationships occurred during those years, and I married again at 39. Very happy I might add :-). So.....to answer your question about love, you will find someone who loves you and loves your child. Do not settle for less. If someone is resentful or does not treat your child respectfully, get rid of that boyfriend. I have a wonderful stepson I love and I know my husband loves my daughter. Wishing you and your child nothing but the best in life.

Answer 5

I think you will find someone in time but you have to think like a mother now and that may actually be good for you in the long run because you may well find things you did in the past not as appealing any longer and find strength you never knew you had. you didn't mention what mistakes you have made - other than getting pregnant too soon - but you may want to consider getting some counselling if you think the things you call mistakes warrent that, even if only to have someone to talk to when it gets rough as it will. If you have a family to support you that may help.
make a list of your mistakes and your good qualities and you will probably find more good qualities and that may help you get by the bad times as well. Good luck and I hope things work out for you!!

Answer 6

Anyone can answer this question, its not so hard that it requires a mans view.

If you are desperate and depressed, of course no guy is going to want you. That desperation will chase them off like mad.

Forever, always, the rest of my life? Those are really extreme terms. It MIGHT happen that you are "alone for the rest of (your) life" but thats very dependent on you, and on life. The only guarantee of being alone, is you. If you are able to be positive, hard working, and not desperate, you can be liked or loved by a wonderful guy. You cant demand he beam down from the mother-ship right now. You can work on being the kind of person that that kind of guy would like. The kid is a challenge, be real about it, because the kid is certainly not impossible, and its certainly expectable that your future Mr. Right would love your daughter.

Im sorry that your bf is being a jerk, and that you are having a rough day. Sometimes rough days seem like rough years, and as someone whose had a few rough years I can say that. I can also say that rough times end, and they get better. They can transform you for the better if you set your mind that you will get through them, that they will be hard but not impossible, and if you set your mind that though its hard its going to change you for the better, be a defining moment in your life, and help define who you are for the better for the rest of your life. Thats the way to get through being a single mommy, a winning perspective. Have faith mom, it only lasts a little while.

Answer 7

First of all, your decision to keep your child, even if you intend to put him/her up for adoption after they are born, shows that you are both a moral and mature person. These traits make it very likely that you will be able to find the kind of guy who is willing to love both you and your child.

However, since most of us 'nice guys' will not attempt to break up a couple, it is unlikely that you will meet such a guy so long as you still appear to be with your ex [make sure that people know that you have broken up].

I dated a very nice girl while I was in college who had a two year old daughter. We had a very nice relationship which only came to an end when we were accepted to different Grad Schools and ended up meeting other people at our respective schools.

Answer 8

Oh Hun!!! If I knew where you were right now..I would go over to you and give you a hug!!!

Let not you heart be troubled!!! It is true that you do not need a guy to be happy....but you do need some people to be connected to. We all need to be connected!!

I do not believe you will be alone forever!! But the first thing you need is to find some people (male or female) who you can connect with on an emotional level.....

Because you are young.....You can choose right now to start doing things that will help you grow and become the Woman that God wants you to be.

God has a plan for your life!! (I have 2 friends who tell ME that a lot).

If you would like to chat or e-mail or something like that....Feel free to contact me.

and spend some time roaming around my sources below...I think you might find some of the info there to be insightfull.

Bless your heart!!♥

Answer 9

Guys have a term called "baggage" which means a single mom with a kid. I know its a bad term, but its what guys say. You need to be a little more careful. You have to tell the guys you're getting involved with right away that you have kids, that way you know for sure that he's in it for real. Your odds will be deminished a little bit, because a lot of guys don't want to be responsible for a child when they are just dating, but there is still one key point. You are only 19!!!! You have your whole life ahead of you, just let things fall were they may. Ron Sexsmith has a good song called All In Good Time. The lyrics should help you out. Good luck....

Answer 10

Let me tell u something of my own, i fell for a gal who had a daughter like an angel, she was 16 when she conceived that baby, Anyway she was 18 when i met her, anyway she moved in with me. I loved her daughter more than i loved her. It was like a complete family. But in the end, things didn't work out and we broke up after two years (he ex came back in her life...)
The point is, when someone loves you, he/she accepts you the way you are. That’s what starts love, acceptance...
I am pretty sure that there are a lot of guys out there who'd love to spend their life with you. Just take your time... Don’t make decisions hastily.
Wish you good luck!!!!

Answer 11

Stop worrying, you've the next twenty years to find a guy. My concern would be you having a baby alone, that's not a good thing for you. Take it easy on yourself, most men know that women are going to get pregnant, have kids, etc. You are way too young to get all stressed about this stuff, and guys like single moms, we hang around for the cooking part, well, ok, the eating part. At nineteen, you have all of your early twenties to go, then your late twenties-prime years for finding Mr.Right.