wat do u think i could do?

Question

ok well i play basketball i hve been playin 4 bout 9yrs.i weight bout 158 but i did weight bout 171 but i stopped eating breakfest and lunch and got down 2 bout 158 well i was hving bad panic attacks too.i hve trouble in school, and plus a lot of things were goin on were was bout 6deaths that my mom knew them they were all teens i was seeing my mom goin through a lot and i was too. well i wanted 2 lose weight and be more sexy i im high school. i got sick of hving 2 wear a lot of boys clothes, so well i got into a big fight w/ my mom 2nite and bout wat i wear i told her i want 2 were more girl stuff and i was sick of not hving guy ask me out or even look at me. well wat do u think i can do 2 get my mom 2 get me better clothes.she think that i always look bad in everything girl i want 2 get down 2 bout 140 but how can i get my mom 2 help. plus i feel bad bout 2nite y do i feel so bad about telling my mom how i feel?? watdo u think i can do differenly with my clothes and tlking 2 my mom??

i am seeing someone bout the panic attacks amd some other stuff. but the one person i can tell anything too. i hve not tlked 2 him since summer. plus i dont think he likes hang out w/ me anymore. but we hve always been best friend but he goin throw a lot right now too.. how could tell him that i need 2 tlk bout some stuff???

Answer 1

Well just ask him if you can talk to him, it is that simple, and maybe he can talk to you too about some of the things he is going through right now. If you are going to ask him to be a good listener and help you, you should be able to do that for him too. Maybe he thinks that you think you are getting to good for him, or maybe he would like to tell you that you need to eat, before you end up with a really bad eatting disorder. As for your mom, well she is proably trying to protect you, from what she knows is out there, and maybe some of the clothes you want to get are really cool, but they may be a little too skippy, know what i mean? It is ok not to want to have to wear boys clothes, but when you get girls clothes you should make sure that they are not going to give guys the wrong impression, cause that can happen, and really bad things can happen to you. So just talk with your mother, and tell her you are sorry, you should of asked if you two could of had a talk, and tell her about what. Maybe you two can come to an agreement on the kind of girl clothes, cause she is just trying to protect you. That is what mom's do. Also you did not tell us how tall you are , so i could not say if you are losing to much weight, and if you lose it too fast, it could cause hair lost, and teeth falling out, so be really careful, plus you could develope a really bad eating problem, that there is no cure for, and you will be doing more damage to yourself then you thought you were. You are still young, so don't worry, there is still life out there, that you will enjoy, and that speical someone , well you proably have not meant him yet. So be really careful how you are losing weight. It also can cause your organs to sink, and no you can not get them back to normal size. I have seen therapist , and doctors, and many other professionals of all walks have eating disorders in a hosiptal setting, and it is sad, so please be very careful .

Answer 2

You are a young lady going through some difficult situations. And from what you said, who can blame you. You are NOT being too demanding in my opinion, but it does seem like you've taken on the 'my poor mom' syndrome.
You should never have to feel that talking to your mom about things is a bad thing. That's HER responsibility as your mother to listen to her.
Panic attacks are a symptom of underlying issues. You rightly want to feel more like a young lady . And you sound lonely.
So you need to try to talk to your mom. Sorry is a hard word to say, especially if it's not your fault, but it shows that you are strong and mature when you apologize.
Do you need someone to chat with who cares? Then e-mail me and I'd be glad to lend you my ear.
[e-mail] My name is Mike.

God Bless you and I'll say a prayer for you and your mom tonight.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

As you get another year or two older it will be easier for you to lose weight. Many girls are thicker in the earlier teens and then slim down once they get past 17 - so keep up the good work.

When it comes to clothes, there is something between "boys' clothes" and clothes that are "sexy". There are a lot of clothes for girls/young women that are stylish, pretty, or feminine; and I wouldn't be surprised if your mother would approve if you were looking for something attractive and feminine but not "sexy".

These days many young girls wear clothes that most people think make them look "like hookers". My daughter is older than you, and she's tiny; but I've always encouraged her to try to look feminine or stylish and not to wear clothes that are "sexy". When young women wear pretty clothes or stylish clothes that flatter their figures that, in itself, is often more attractive (to guys as well as other girls) because it shows a young woman has nice taste and has the intelligence and sense of style that helps her know what makes her look best.

Young girls who wear "sexy" clothes (even the slim girls) look like they're trying to get people to look at them by showing off body parts; and, as I've always said to my own daughter, half the population in the world has female body parts. Body parts will always get a young woman looked at by guys, but the real trick is catching the eyes of the guys without showing off those body parts. If you dress nicely and attractively and make the most of your face, hair, nails, etc.; you will generally come across as attractive. Wearing the right kind of clothes can make any extra weight you have less noticeable too.

If it is true that your mother doesn't think you'll look nice in anything other than "boys' clothes" then she is wrong. There are a lot of clothes that you could wear at your present weight that you can look very nice in. Your weight isn't all that extreme that finding clothes should be difficult. If, however, your mother doesn't want you to wear, say, super-tight/super-low-cut tops and low jeans then I think she is trying to advise you correctly.

Most people will tell you that it isn't flattering if a girl wears a small top and low jeans and shows rolls of fat. Girls with heavy legs may look nicer in a longer, elegant, skirt rather than a mini-skirt.

You could wear loser, pretty, tops and maybe add a little "bolero-type" shirt. You could wear sweaters with elegant sleeves that come down over your hips and then wear nicely fitting pants and good shoes with them. If you look in the right stores you can find nice clothes that are not "old lady" or "non-stylish". A longer skirt with some pretty platform shoes, the right color nylons, and a pretty, loose-fitting, top could be a nice look. You could wear boots with skirts as well.

I one time saw a woman who was very, very, overweight (way more heavy than you are). She had a beautifully knit and big sweater that was cream colored. She had the most beautiful reddish hair. She wore perfectly fit forest green pants, and the sweater covered her bottom. I admired her because of how attractive and pulled together she looked. She was extremely, extremely, heavy; and yet she was strikingly attractive because of her style and taste.

Most guys will tell you that if you are someone who knows how to make yourself look most attractive (in a way that is suitable for your weight, height, age, etc.); and if you behave in a way that says you have self-respect, dignity, and femininity they would find that attractive. Most guys are more than happy to look at "sexy" clothing, and teenage boys may be particularly interested in the girl who looks a little freer with her body; but if you want to attract the nicer young men you will do that by figuring out what makes you most attractive and feminine and dignified and stylish and wearing clothes that flatter you the most.

You shouldn't feel bad about telling your mother how you feel (but, of course, if you yelled it at her maybe you'd like to apologize). Maybe if you talk to her about how you'd like to dress in a more grown-up way and a way that is more like high-school girls dress but that you understand why she may not like "sexy" (revealing) clothes for you right now - maybe then she'd be a little more open-minded.

I have a feeling you may be asking to have clothes that maybe wouldn't look that flattering on a thicker girl (the skimpy tops? pants that would only look ok on slender girls?). Maybe if you emphasize that you want to look more feminine and more attractive your mother would be more willing to listen than she would be if you stress "sexy".

There's a good chance your mother wants very much for you to look your nicest. You may want to ask her if you both can have a calm conversation about what you wear and see if you and she can reach a compromise. Again, you're not so big you can't find nice clothes to wear that will make you look your nicest. It may just be that your mother doesn't want "sexy" to be your aim. As I said, I have a daughter. I never wanted that for her either. She is an attractive and, actually, kind of sexy-looking girl; but it is because she dresses nicely and not because she dresses "sexy".