My bf and I were arguing then I showed up at his house unannounced. He began to ignore me and I didn't know what to do b/c it made me mad and I told him I would commit suicide b/c I wanted his attention and also I kind of felt like dying at that time. Now he will not talk to me at all. I am sure he wants to break up, but is there a way to get him back? What can I do?
2007-01-14 15:40:36 · 27 answers · asked by SoSad 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been in this situation before. It really stinks.
Saying you're going to commit suicide is more serious than you are thinking about it being. This is a signal that there is something wrong inside of you and how much you depend on this relationship for a sense of worth and identity. This does not sound healthy. At least, it wasn't for me.
My guess is your boyfriend senses this and wants to keep you at a distance because of it. By you going over there and being desperate, you are driving him away. Guys can sense when women are obsessed over them.
I would try to imagine what you can do that you enjoy doing. Talking to friends, seeing a movie, reading, shopping, ANYTHING that does not involve him. I know it's hard and it hurts. You feel like you are going to die. I've been there.
If he wants to be with you, he will initiate it. You will not get him back by going over to him, and what if you did? Would you want a man you had to chase down and drag back?
I am a member of SLAA, which is sex and love addicts anonymous. The situation you described, if it is a pattern, may be showing you that you can benefit from this group. I don't know how old you are, but if you feel you can't live without a guy, that is a sign that you need to work on yourself and being okay with being alone. SLAA has really helped me a lot, freeing me from these obsessive feelings.
Good luck.
2007-01-14 15:51:41 · answer #1 · answered by kannajo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 16:25:57 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy some space. If you start freaking out, it is going to give him more reason to not want to deal with you, and a guy isn't worth all the trouble. Why not focus on other things, like your hobbies... remember? The things you enjoyed before you had a boyfriend?
There is a saying, that the one who cares less about the relationship has the more power in the relationship. Also there is the saying.. If you love someone let them go, and it is better to love and get hurt, than to not have loved at all. They all relate... Just focus on yourself, if you are not stable than how do you excpect to have a stable relationship? Also, don't make threats, that is a sign that you really are not ready for a long term relationship, threats will not help any situation.
2007-01-14 15:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by Em C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the guy who said you should be happy on your own first, and not entirely depend on someone else (until you're married).
As for what's going on, I don't like the way your BF seems to treat you. You have to consider that his mean behavior will most definitely show itself even more strongly when you're married. I recommend finding someone who will be GOOD to you through it all, even years from now, and not turn you down like this, and be so openly heartless.
I know you love him very much, but remember the massive divorce rate. All of those people were once lovers like you, but didn't choose the right people. Everyone wears a mask while courting - the "I'm such a nice guy" mask - but if your BF can't even keep it on now, while dating, he must be really quite poor inside.
I can only see a world of hurt if you continue on with him... Don't destroy the next 60 years of your life with the wrong person. His behavior should be a tell-tale sign that he's a divorcer. Try to find someone else who you can love just as much, but who won't let you down.
2007-01-14 15:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get him back would be to try and find a way to make your life worth living regardless of what he does and doesn't do. No one likes to have that much pressure put on them, and it's not particularly good for you either. The best way to be attractive to any man (at least the not-crazy controlling ones) - strangers, exs, current boyfriends, just-friends, ect - is to live well and be happy. Wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with someone happy and well-adjusted? Professional help or support groups may be a really good idea - the world is full of people who are trying to be healthier emotionally, psychologically, and/or spiritually and would be thrilled to have you join them.
2007-01-14 15:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do to redeem yourself at this point is to show yourself some respect and stay away from him. Don't even acknowledge him, but be cordial if he says hello. You don't have to show bitter feelings toward him. Just move on. It's more attractive to act independent rather than needy. You might figure out that he's not your type anyway. You don't really want to be with someone who doesn't seem to want to be with you, do you? You deserve to feel good about yourself, especially when you're around the guy you choose to share yourself with.
2007-01-14 15:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your not ready and mature enough for a relationship. You can't just tell your bf you will commit suicide over something dumb! If you feel like dying you need to get some help. He's probably not interested in you anymore. Theres plenty of fish in the sea. If its meant to be it will work itself out
2007-01-14 15:46:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well first mistake was telling him you are going to commit suicide.Men dont want fragile woman..what you need to do is get him when he's in a good mood and try to talk with him although you gonna have to lay all your cards on the table....you need to be confident and strong when you speek to him or he will not take you serious..this is serious...you might need to give him another reason to stick around ..if ya know what i mean...then at the same time reassure him that it will all be back the way it was when you first hooked up....
2007-01-14 15:48:14 · answer #8 · answered by boyzindauk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well really the only thing you can do is talk to him about it (DONT TAKE NO 4 AN ANSWER GiRl) ! just tell him you didnt really mean it and say i love you a lot and nothing else should matter ... and if he doesnt take you back then the hell with him there are plenty of other hawt guys out there believe me .. i would kno .. lol ... just let the chips fall where they may after that ... && then he will releize what he lost! signed: Lindsay :]
2007-01-14 15:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by hcoxchick15 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aw i'm sorry but you dug yourself pretty deep. We just watched a video about this in Health and it was based on "abusive relationships". You are abusing your boyfriend by taking advantage of his time. The only possible thing for you to do is explain to him why you are upset. Maybe you have to consider finding another boyfriend who won't cause you to be this upset.
2007-01-14 15:46:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lady C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋