Ok....we are going to get married next year, and of course budget is the first thing that comes up in wedding planning. Both of my parents are divorced and not remarried as of yet, and his parents are divorced and his father is remarried and his mother lives with her "life partner". So who pays for what?? I hate to ask my dad for anything because he has been in bad health and has had several surgeries in the last year and has just gone back to work. What do I do?
2007-01-14 15:12:47 · 12 answers · asked by Destiny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that it's an old tradition, and rather presumptious to expect it. Maybe he's planned for it as someone else had mentioned, and he'll let you know. Go about it, and plan to pay for it all yourselves. If any of your parents offer to help with the expenses, then that's a welcomed bonus. My fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. We didn't ask our parents for anything, yet both sets have offered to help. His parents gave us a little bit, and my parents gave us a little more. It's all going to be of use, but we went into it with the knowledge that we could be paying for it all ourselves. Be prepared :)
2007-01-14 15:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no longer a clear cut answer to these things and, technically - the wedding expenses are the responsibility of thebride and groom in our modern society. So - your best option is to meet with each of the 4 parents seperately and ask what they are willing/able to contribute. This should be done privately so no parent is left feeling bad if the other gives more. Once you have talked to all four parents, you will have an idea of what type of budget you have to work with. If you need/want to spend more, that will be out of your own pockets:)
2007-01-14 23:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know how your parents have planned for this, but my husband and I have been saving for college/weddings for our children since they were born. Maybe your dad has done the same for you, maybe not. The only way you're going to know if to ask. I would just ask each parent if they can financially contribute to the wedding expenses, and if so, how much. Or, if a parent says "I'll pay for the wedding cake/photographer/wedding dress/whatever" then do it that way. Really, the only way to handle this one is to just bring it up with each parent separately. Best of luck!
By the way, your dad and mom may WANT to help pay for your wedding, so you should ask them. They may not be able to, but they should be given the opportunity to say they can't help with expenses. I know I'm planning on helping my daughter and son when they get married.
2007-01-14 23:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Originally, it was the brides parents who paid for the invitations and reception, except for the alcohol. The grooms parents then paid for the cars, the flowers, the alcohol. So if you don't want to ask your Dad to pay for your wedding, you may have to pay for it yourself. Or get your mother to help you out, and between your mother, father and yourself split the costs three ways. Or if your fiancee and his parents are willing the whole thing could be just split 6 ways amongst all of you.
2007-01-14 23:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask everyone. You should know you can or can't help (financially speaking) Or better yet, talk a lot about wedding stuff and maybe they'll bring it up vs you having to ask.
The new tradition is that the new bride and groom pay for it themselves. It's an old idea for the bride's parents to pay.
2007-01-14 23:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i too am getting married next year and we chose to do a small ceremony followed by a midnight lunch. i asked my dad to pay for 1/2 the alcohol and my fiances dad to pay for the food as for our mothers we have asked them to pay for the midnight lunch and we are paying for everything else ourselves. in your fathers case due to his health maybe he can do some of the last minute running around for the wedding or help decorate the hall or where ever you reception is
2007-01-15 10:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days, with couples working, they pay for their own wedding! Just budget as best you can between the two of you and plan a happy celebration accordingly!
2007-01-15 07:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep... I go with that...pay your own way. Hopefully one of the parents will offer to help in some way. Remember, its not an entitlement but a gift. No one owes you anything but a smile and well wishings.
2007-01-14 23:22:24 · answer #8 · answered by rokdude5 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You pay for your own wedding and if you're lucky a parent will volunteer some money.
2007-01-14 23:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You pay for everything except for what any parent may offer to pay for.
If your either parent had started a "fund" for you; or feels obligated by tradition; then they will let you know.
Otherwise just assume you are on your own.
2007-01-14 23:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋