My ex and I have been on and off since last June. I adore him and the best of times and loath him at the worst. Sadly we live in different cities and will until I move in May. We haven't used the terms gf/bf in months yet we keep up all the naughty stuff and talk everyday. All of this is starting to bug me because I am begining to feel lonely for commitment. So what do I do. I don't want this to end but I am also tired of always walking on glass. Anyone been in a situation similar or have suggestions?
2007-01-14 14:54:19 · 18 answers · asked by TiaMaria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's loving it... He gets all the fun, with none of the work... It's time to end his free ride...
2007-01-14 14:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by HONORARIUS 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't keep up all the naughty stuff (ie. any kind of sex). Continue to talk to him everday, but be more like his friend since he hasn't decided upon a committment with you. This will throw him off, but he'll respect you more for it. Act like you don't care about having a relationship with him even though you do. Let him be the one wondering why it's not a choice of topic anymore. If when you move closer it continues in this way, move on after a couple of weeks but stay in touch with him, but make sure he's calling you too. Don't ever let him know you're lonely for committment because he won't be as interested. Right now you can bet your life on it that he's seeing other girls (having sex etc.). So, don't ever feel guilty. Be independent, and let him be the initiator. He's a man. If he doesn't want it. Go flaunt it somewhere else girl. He'll lose his mind.
2007-01-14 15:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by dollface 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly how you feel!!! i had an on and off relationship with my boyfriend, and found myself often confused. when i sat back and thought about our relationship, i realized that it was a waste of time and not getting anywhere. i started thinking will we ever be boyfriend or girlfriend again, or is he fine with this friends with benefit relationship. i feel that if he wanted to be my boyfriend he would have done so, it like the saying "why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free." you need to let it go and if it's meant to be then it will be, because you're stressing and he's probably not thinking about the situation that hard about it
2007-01-14 15:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I know this is going to get the automatic thumbs down because of what I believe. But you should not be having sex with him in the first place. You are not married therefore it is wrong. What you should do, if you want to know the truth about this whole thing is.. stop having sex with him. Develop a relationship based off of common interest and being compatible. Not being sexual! You NEED God in your life! His guidance will help solve a lot of the problems you are dealing with and will give you the confidence you need to know that you don't HAVE to put out to be in a relationship with a person.
Best wishes! God bless! I hope that all works out for you!
2007-01-14 15:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not wrong to want more. Your whole relationship is a scam.
It's very hard to make a long-distance relationship work. I personally feel like it takes even more love and dedication for it to work than a typical relationship.
Also, you have to ask yourself what is he contributing to this relationship?
If all you have is chit-chat and phone sex then you definetly need more.
Don't think of this as an ending, it's been over...Think of it as a new beginning.
2007-01-14 15:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kurius_Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance are hard work but if you don't want to have one even cities apart. It's hard but you and him have to both want to work it out. You can be patient and wait until you move closer to him which I assume that's what you meant by "Sadly we live in different cities and will until I move in May." If you want to let him go then make sure that's what you want for sure or you'll regret it. Search your heart and make sure before you do it.
2007-01-14 14:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say he thinks hes got a friend with benefits. In all honesty, id have a good talk with him. So many relationships go bad b/c one does not talk to the other. You need to know whats going on with him. Be honest.
2007-01-14 15:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it up. It hasn't worked very well up until now, it won't get any better. Find someone really nice and appreciate each other. Make sure he's your best friend before making any commitment
2007-01-14 14:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by frenchfry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing to do is be honest with him about how you feel. Let him know you aren't pushing him to get married, but you want to know where you stand - either you are just friends or you are gf/bf. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know your status.
2007-01-14 14:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You chance with that guy is over. You are permanently mutual bootie calls/friends with privileges. Enjoy it until a real boyfriend comes along then cut him loose. Not to mention, he'll be happy when you break up with that guy (or need to cheat on him).
2007-01-14 14:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by Tumbling Dice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are PASSIVE which is never a good thing in a relationship.
He's using you.
I think you deserve better than to refer to yourself as a "gf".
Come to Scotland and you will get a good rodgering, with none of this emotional blackmail crap.
2007-01-14 15:05:57 · answer #11 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋