why do I hesitate to get married?

Question

my fiance wants to get married but I keep saying wait till I have a bunch of money or in a few years. I want a big wedding and she doesnt care.

Answer 1

Well, in my opinion, the size of the wedding really means nothing. It's one day in your life and it will be over before you know it. What you really need to think about is what happens after the wedding.

Do you question your compatibility when it comes to money and investing? It sounds like that may be part of the problem, so you may want to discuss these issues with your fiance.

Also, how do you both feel about other issues? Do you want to buy a house? Do you want children? If you have children, what religion will they be raised in? Do you want pets? How do you like to spend your free time? How important is it to spend time with your extended families? What traditions do you want to uphold? Do you think work or family is more important?

All these questions (and more!) are important to consider before making a decision about marraige.

Take it slow and really think about what you want before taking the plunge. I rushed into marriage when I was very young, and although we're still going strong after almost 20 years, it has been a very bumpy road that we've travelled. I think getting to know each other a little better first would have helped a lot.

Answer 2

Mmmmm.....Just sounds like good old fear of committing to one decision. If you both love and trust each other, then getting married is 100% the right decision. Consider this, if at some time later in your life you do make some bad decision (which is likely,) It will be a lot easier if you can count on each other to be there for support.

My advice is this, whatever happens, whatever you feel, always try to be open and honest about your feelings, don't worry about being stupid or a burden. And always be willing to temporarily put your own needs, insecurities, or ego on the table for hers.

As for having a big wedding, it's up to you. My opinion is it is probably not worth it to go into debt just to have one. Just relax, enjoy your time together, and worry less about the material things. Money and career is less important, as "you can't take it with you," and it is no excuse for neglecting the people who care about you the most.

Whatever you decide, good luck!
~Donkey Hotei

Answer 3

Only you can answer that question. And if you can't come up with an honest answer, maybe you should see a counselor.

It's nice to have money, to have a big wedding, but that doesn't make a marriage. It's the commitment of love & devotion between a man & a woman.
Maybe this gal isn't the one?

Answer 4

Tell you what you don't need lots of money for teh perfect wedding actually i have learnd that the wedding ceremony will be forgotten in a few days the rest of your lifes is what counts,,, i actually though my now husban,, was getting cold feet and to me that was sad she is probabbly think that you do not want to get married,, just make it simple,, simple is always best,, we didn't spend lost of money i could probably say we spended 1000 all toguether,,, yup yup,, just get married stop hesitating,, and love each other every day,, make her fall inlove with you each and every day that is what really counts,, i mean it sure gets hard,, but can you imagine waking up to that person you love the most every day? adn not to mention all the sex you can have,,,lol,,, you guys will start been one and thinking liek one,, just love each other,,,and no problem is neccesary to trow the towel away,,,and never ever go to bed mad,, cuz you never know what can happend,,,, i wish the best to you guys!!!!!!

Answer 5

I do not recollect ever listening to of or studying wherever, that he did hesitate. I do consider that Princess Anne might have idea of whatever a bit of extra normal than that historical Victorian cliche, except it was once mentioned in a jokingly pompous method.

Answer 6

If you are sure she is "the one" then I would chalk it up to what they used to call "the jitters"... it's actually a good thing to have last minute thoughts about whether this is right for you. Think it through carefully and make sure you really believe it's what you want and what's best for you. Don't be rushed into marriage because she wants it if you're not sure. I wish you luck! :)

Answer 7

weddings should celebrate your relationship and be the jumping-off place for your future together.

If you are already living together, you are married in a way -- the ceremony is a formality. If you are not living together, and you are holding out...

if you are living together, and you are holding out on making official, she may be feeling that you are unwilling to make a life-long commitment... I would feel unloved if I were her.

Answer 8

Think long and hard about this - maybe she is not the one for you. Do not get married because she wants to. I made this mistake; and now I am divorced.

Answer 9

Make sure it is what you want... Do not get married because she wants to...

Answer 10

Scared of commitment?