i'm not thinking about actually doing it but it has been such a big discussion at my school and i have no idea what to think. i do know its aginst the bible! thats about it....
2007-01-14 14:21:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's just sex... there's nothing wrong with it... if Monkeys and Dogs can get away with doing it and not go to hell, then humans should be able to freely have sex without the fear of being damned to hell for all eternity!
2007-01-14 16:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by Zachary 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm glad you're not thinking about "doing it" because you shouldn't be calling it that until you're old enough to deal with any and all consequences of having sex (and if you have to ask what any and all consequences are- you're still too young)
But back on topic- my opinion is as follows:
You're ready if-
a) you can deal with any and all consequences of sex (financial, emotional, physical etc)
b) you have been with this person a long long long long time in a healthy relationship and have discussed and agreed upon how you'd deal (and PREVENT) with any results of sex if they should occur
c) you truly and deeply love this person unconditionally.
I avoid using marriage as a criteria because you may be with someone and at a point in your life where all these things fall into place but marriage just isn't in the cards. This isn't wrong and not bad.
Where the Bible is concerned people nowadays tend to pick and choose what they follow and do not follow.
Bottomline: Use your head.
2007-01-14 14:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny M 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Actually, i don't recall any passages in the bible that forbid sex before marriage. But then, i have never read the bible very thoroughly. It seems the church likes to make up a lot of rules. They don't believe in the use of contraceptives either, even if you are married, which i think is stupid because you'll end up with dozens of children you may not be able afford to care for financially.
Anyway I think this is one of those things that a person (or couple)has to decide for themselves. I don't think it's a problem if you are sure you love the person and want to commit to them, if you do it responsibly and take proper precautions, are mature enough ot deal with the potential consequences, and are sure that your partner would make an ideal parent for potential children. Again, it's up to each couple to decide for themselves.
2007-01-14 14:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by katskradle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are correct that the Bible speaks against sex before marriage, but that's because of all the problems that arise from such behavior.
I happen to be one that feels that when you are betrothed, sex between a couple is okay.
When you have sex with someone that isn't going to be your life mate, you are giving something very precious to this person. And whether you believe it or not, you bind yourself emotionally to that person.
When you decide to marry a particular fellow, instead of the two of you learning how to have sex together, learning each other's likes, dislikes & how to please each other; you find yourself sometimes comparing & being unhappy sexually, though you may love that person very much.
Being sexual is a wonderful gift. One that should be shared between two people who are in love, and able to accept the responsibilities of sex; not only emotionally, but physically as well. And too, sex causes babies. You must be able to care for them when they are conceived.
This is a decision that you will have to make for yourself.
2007-01-14 14:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I waited until my marriage to have sex with my husband, or anyone else for that matter. And we've been married for over 19 years, and are very compatible inthe bedroom. So anyone who says you have to have sex before you're married to see if you're "compatible" is full of it, you can figure that one out without having sex. I've also taught my children that God intended sex for marriage, both to create children, and to bring a husband and wife closer together. I've taught my children that it's a beautiful thing, when done in the right time and place. The ramifications of having sex when you're not ready can be severe and are everything from unplanned pregnancy, to STD's. If you are not ready to deal with those consequences, then you're not ready for sex. Condoms only prevent pregnancy about 85% of the time, so they're not foolproof.
Whatever you decide to do, you have to be at peace with the decision. Don't have sex with someone just because "everyone else" is doing it, that's the worst reason of all. Even if you decide you don't want to wait until you're married (and most don't anymore), then at least make sure you're in love with him, and he with you. Make sure he's not just telling you he loves you to get you in bed with him. Never underestimate what a guy will do to have sex, it's just about anything. Remember that you are in control of the physical aspect of any relationship with guys, and don't go any further until you are ready to.
2007-01-14 15:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that you don't have to be married but you should be old enough to deal with the results of your actions.... that would be a baby.... and every time you have sex you run that risk.... No method of birth control is 100%.
Once your old enough and you are in a committed relationship where you love each other and it feel right .... go ahead. But i would wait until after high school.
2007-01-14 14:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by the queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I have a baby and I'm not married...so i don't think I can answer that....I think it is all up to you. If you have strong faith and want to wait, then wait. I think it is really cool when people can give themselves to each other after their wedding. However, if you want to have sex, then have sex. I do not think you will go to hell. And if you do, at least you know you won't be alone.
*its probably also against the bible for priests to molest little boys...so I think having pre-marital sex with someone you love is not that bad.
2007-01-14 14:28:03 · answer #7 · answered by redsox fan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I felt like it wasn't a big deal,but I understood the conseqeunces of sex before marriage and was very safe. I felt that you should test drive the model,before you buy it. I dated a real loser who made me change my outlook.Then I took one year of celibacy, ended up meeting my husband, waited another year before I had sex with him to see if our relationship was strong without the physical aspects,it was and we've been together for a total of 7 years. You have to decied if you are mentally,emotionally,and physically ready for see with multiple partners.
2007-01-14 14:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by lily_shaine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a christian. That said, I'll tell you this.
At the end of the day, what you think and what matters to you is all that counts. You can always talk to people to figure out the pros and cons of the matter, but of course, its upto you in the end.
If you ask me, its fun, but very shortlived.
2007-01-14 14:26:24 · answer #9 · answered by Phaedrus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to do "it" as you say you should be extreemely choosy. Don't just do "it" with anyone before marriage. I would say when you find the one you KNOW you are going to marry then IF you just can't wait that is okay. But don't fall into the "if you love me you'll do this with me" trap. Good Luck!
2007-01-14 14:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by Destiny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋