I am 34 yrs and am ready to start trying to have a baby. My husband is 31 and he doesn't think we are ready. I am concerned that the longer we wait the harder it will be to have children or that the pregnancy will be hard on me or worse because of my age. What can I saw that will show him that most things we want to do in our life we can wait to do later (buy furniture, buy a new car), but I won't always be able to have children.
We want to have 3, by the way.
2007-01-14 14:11:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know if I was clear, we don't have ANY children yet. I really want to at try to have the first one...
2007-01-14 14:48:30 · update #1
goodness, all the advice is so good!
2007-01-15 01:43:39 · update #2
Talk with your husband and tell him how you feel... Also talk to your doctor along with your husband together.... Why does your husband feel you guys are not ready... If you want to have 3 more than likely it is time to start now.
2007-01-14 14:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everyone waited until they are ready, no one would ever have been born. You gotta just do it. Tell him you want a baby and now is the perfect time. You are both in good health, have normal finances, and are at a good age to begin a family. A car and furniture can wait. You won't have your car in 20 years, but you will have your child.
2007-01-14 14:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by stampadhesive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We kimosabe? He doesn't sound like he wants or has decided on children. And children aren't anything a couple can "compromise" on. And you just cannot trick him into a pregnancy, --- cruel, cold, and he'll leave, so don't do that... for sure, hon, don't do that.
If you wish to be a parent, and he does not, you and he need to get that item on the table, and soon, hon. You are correct -- you are pushing your biological clock. And if he cannot see that, you need to know.....NOW Because if having children is THE deal-breaker for your marriage, and you really want to be a mom soon, and you find he really never wants to be a dad, you also need to end this marriage so you can find a husband and father for the children you want. If you trick him he will be forever resentful, and no child needs a resentful parent, not now not ever.. Good luck hon....
2007-01-14 14:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wait until you have this or have that you will never have another child as there will always be something you want.
And to be truthful you will never have enough money until your kids are all older and left home, so the issue of having enough of anything other food and basics etc is not going to happen.
So let him know that once you have had another baby then can both really settle down and get the things in place to enhance your living style.
2007-01-14 14:35:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This have to be a mutual decision, and yes, it's harder to wait till longer for health reasons, Particularly if you want three of them. Sit your husband down and tell him that you have to decide on a time frame, as in six month to a year, and you are not willing to wait any longer. Ask him what are his reasons for not wanting a baby? financial emotional. lack of maturity, loss of freedom? be prepared in your arguments and try to make up a budget or a saving plan if the reason for procrastination are financial.
Also, he might feel like he is not ready to be a father and give up his freedom, kids do tend to change your life beyond recognition. Make sure you are ready to take this on yourself, since he may not be the "hands on dad" you want him to become.
2007-01-14 14:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering that you said you both want 3--then this is what I have to say--when my husband and I wanted another child (I had 2 from a previous) and he said one more--I said two--not just one because the age difference between the first two and the third was ten years--so we argued and then I thought--hey I can have 10 if I want--if he doesn't want anymore he can go get fixed or stop having sex altogether--and that wasn't going to happen--so in all reality you make the choice when to have kids--whoops forgot the pill
2007-01-14 14:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you want healthy babies and now is the time to start. You are right. The older you get, the more risks there are. Try approaching it lightly with your husband. Start with A baby not THREE babies. This may seem too overwhelming for him. I believe that YOU are the one making the plans. You just have to get him on board by listening to him and not pushing him.
2007-01-14 14:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is selfish. You may not want him to be the father of your children.
2007-01-14 14:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋