My father in law comes to stay and visit regularly through the year. He is constantly growling at our kids aged 2,4 & 6 and takes over when we are trying to discipline them, completely over ruling us. My husband ad I hate it but he has always been scared of his father so won't stand up to him. If I say something I will be the worst daugter in law in the world and everyone will hear about it. He a has a 'my way or the highway' mentality and is impossible to reason with.
2007-01-14 14:08:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He probably has that "this is my house and i'll do as i want" attitude also. Give the old geezer a taste of his own medicine and just flat out tell him that they are your kids (and they are just kids) and you and your husband will do the disipline in this household. Sure it might upset him but it's your house. Rather him be upset than you, your husband and kids.
2007-01-14 14:18:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are the priority, so you have to put aside your fear about being the "worst daughter-in-law" for their sake. There are a few approaches you might consider:
1. Does he HAVE to come to visit? Could you stop inviting him, or invite him only once a year?
2. Take him aside and quietly and respectfully tell him that you have something you want to discuss with him. Tell him that you understand that your kids may get on his nerves, but that you must ask him to leave the disciplining to you. Say truthfully, "It upsets me when I hear you growling at the kids." Tell him you are doing your very best to raise your kids well and you want them to grow up to be respectful, polite grandkids that will make him burst with pride. But very firmly say that you expect him to leave issues of discipline to you and your husband. If he throws a fit, well, then so be it.
Good luck!
2007-01-14 14:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time they are invited to your place kindly tell your inlaws that you love having them over but it is akward when dad takes over the discipline. Let him know that it is not appreciated and it is about time that they trust you to raise your kids. In his house he can have his rules but in your house your rule is that you and your husband do the discipleship of your children. Your husband may not feel like he can oppose his father and he will not soon change we all have difficulty standing up to our own parents. So be the bad guy whoi cares what others think.
2007-01-14 15:09:09 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up for your kids. Tell your father-in-law you're not like other people and you are not afraid of him. These are YOUR kids and YOU have the final say so. If he can't respect that then he can walk his ass out that door or you will toss it out. If he wants to be the boss, get a pet and boss it around all he wants. He can call you "the worst daughter-in-law" all he wants. You will prove to him that you can be.
2007-01-14 14:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in HIS house this is his rule of my way or the highway then he should understand that rule applies to YOUR house too. Tell him so. ...p.s....WHEN is your husband going to grow up?
If he doesn't like it that he can't be the boss at your house, tell him to stay at his house where he can be the boss.
2007-01-14 14:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to grow up, be a man and confront his father. It is your house and granddad should follow your rules.
2007-01-14 14:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by CapeCodGram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋