two and a half months to the wedding and my fiancee has decided for the both of us to postpone the wedding. He did this without even discussing it with me prior to. He thinks that we argue too much. I tried to explain to him that I was just extremely stressed out with all of the planning and not having much help from him. Prior to the planning everything was supposedly perfect. What do you think?
2007-01-14 13:27:35 · 20 answers · asked by MonicaM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
better now than at the altar, you two need to work things out and/or figure things out stat!
2007-01-14 13:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by Bored Enough To Be Here 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My b/f and I have also recently postponed our wedding to allow him to take a course that will progress his career and the stress of studying and taking exams was more than enough for him to cope with. I would suggest taking some time to talk with your b/f, rather than arguing as that does not solve anything. Discuss exactly what it was that causing the arguments, perhaps he needed a more active role in planning the wedding so he felt involved and not just a "tourist". Give it a few months for the dust to settle, and then see how the land lies, perhaps you will be able to re-book before too long.
2007-01-14 22:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand you being stressed out from planning the wedding and that causing stress on your relationship, especially if he is not helping. But if you explain this to him, and you two had a very good relationship before, and he still wants to hold on the wedding, then I think this sounds like an excuse for him. Maybe talk to his parents, or his close friends to find out if there is something else going on. Hopefully it is just cold feet, but who knows why he is acting weird and putting off what is a special day for both of you.
2007-01-14 13:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it will be good for you guys to work things out! I mean, if you are arguing now, marriage isn't likely to magically fix that! And I understand that planning a wedding is stressful, but so are many aspects of the married life! You have to be able to work together and get through stressful times without arguing too much. So it could be good to figure this out before you tie the knot! I mean, I am not saying you two might not be meant to be married, but maybe you guys just have a little bit of work to do first! Just be on your best behavior! Be a sweetie. Things will work out!
2007-01-14 13:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by KT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down & talk with him, seriously.
He may be having second thoughts because of the way you are handling the wedding stress. If this is how you handle this, how are you going to handle the stress of married life & children? You probably have him worried that he will be spending his life in a way he doesn't want to. He's wise in doing what he did.
There have been many weddings that have not happened because of this very thing.
You both might want to seek some counselling before continuing with your plans.
2007-01-14 13:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's having second thoughts it's better he tell you now instead of after the wedding. I went to a wedding in July. A month later the groom told the bride that he really didn't want to be married. Now they're going through a divorce. My advice, for what its worth, is to try and resolve your issues now rather than hope the wedding will magically fix everything. I wish you luck.
2007-01-14 13:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him if he wont listen then take like a mini vacation stay a few nights at a friends house or go to the beach you two just need some time before you work a wedding is supposed to girls happiest day of there life right? well don't get to worked up about it!!
2007-01-14 13:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anime Geek!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i ought to dodge making any large decision immediately, which includes postponing the marriage. it may appear like a thanks to administration issues immediately, notwithstanding it may actual backfire and worsen his pressure (which he received't comprehend). i ought to point going to pre-marital or usual counseling. His certain drugs takes a minimum of about 2 weeks to commence operating. yet drugs can in effortless words help a lot - it can provide again function, notwithstanding it would not get to the basis difficulty. Counseling will be very effective find out root of the pressure themes and also giving both one in all you the equipment necessary to wrestle it. in case you do not protect the basis, it is going to easily come back in diverse procedures (i.e. wedding ceremony suitable, truly of work suitable). you nonetheless have 3 months - it really is nice. After commencing counseling, revisit this question about postponing the marriage at about the third visit. by technique of then, you'll both have a a lot extra ideal experience of what's going to be suitable for him, for you, and both one in all you jointly. interior the meantime, call round on your distributors to ascertain your ideas. If there are any looming cut-off dates in which you should probably get your money again, ask them for a three-week extension at the same time as you adult adult males go via counseling. good success!
2016-11-23 18:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by kunkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit back and think. What are you fighting about? Is it about the wedidng? Is it about living arrangements? Does he annoy you with his habits? Do you annoy him? Is it because you don't like each others friends and family?
If you're fighting because of wedding details and money, then take a step back and ask yourself just how important that detail is that you are (or he is) fighting for. My husband and I had a clear set plan. We set out the ground rules early. No pink or purple. No Tails and Top Hats. He wanted a church wedding, I wanted outdoor, but I felt his religion trumped my love of trees. We either agreed on everything or we compramised. If someone was adament about a detail, then the other backed off and said okay. we had a beautiful, simple, fun, and flawless wedding.
If you are fighting because of his habits or yours, then you need to sit down and think about how important it really is. Is it minor, like he leaves all the cuboards, drawers, and doors open like my beloved...or is it major, like he goes out drinking with the same girl who isn't you every weekend like my friends husband? Tell someone neutral about the fight and they will tell you straight up who the crazy one is.
If you're fighting becuase of family, then suck it up, they're family. If you're fighting becuase of friends, then you both need to sit down and deal with it like grown ups or ditch the friends. He's forever, your college roomate may not be.
pre-marital counseling is designed to sort all this out before the wedding. It may be helpful for you both to go see someone. We are christian, so we saw the Pastor who was marrying us. Just go talk to someone neutral. If the two of you are willing to communicate, compromise, be considerate of eachothers wants above your own, and have the same goals in life, then you are meant to be. If that isn't the case...then like the first girl said, better now than at the alter or after the kids.
2007-01-14 13:43:32 · answer #9 · answered by lemonnpuff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your fiance postponed the wedding without discussing it with you what would he do after the wedding? Buy a home with your money without discussing it with you or bring his mother to live with you w/o discussing it w/you? I say good riddens.
2007-01-14 13:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a case of" Frigid feet"He should have discussed this with you first.And since he didnt odds are if you were married he's be making other discisions without you.Better to lose him now than later .Take it from one who knows;divorce is no cake walk. You will find "mr Wonderful" keep looking!
2007-01-14 13:39:01 · answer #11 · answered by prettycoolchick38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋