Why does my 4 year old hit us? and what do you do to stop it?

Question

My 4 year old son hits my husband and I sometimes. He isnt doing it out of frusteration though.. its not when he's angry or upset.. just sometimes when were talking to each other, or even to him.. basically its when he gets excited, and he will put his hands all over our face and or poke us in the ear or squeeze our faces, sometimes even hit us on the shoulder ect..?? He is not doing it to intentionally hurt us, and he thinks its funny sometimes. I tell him "don't hit" "its not ok to hit people" or "your hurting our feelings when you hurt us" If its out of hand he gets a time out. I'm just wondering if this is common? or is it something I should have looked into by a dr.? and what can I do about it?

I do not like the idea of spanking. And I'm 25 if you must know

Answer 1

Of course he is attempting to get your attention, you are the center of his universe, and he expects the same from you in return!

Many years ago I broke my niece of this habit by suggesting that she hold her mother's hand as a signal that she wanted to say something. I taught my children the same technique simply by taking their hand when they wanted to interrupt and quietly telling them "I'll be with you in just a minute, until then you can just hold my hand if you want to." Sometimes they would wait patiently and hold my hand, and other times they would run off and play, but by me telling them that I knew they wanted me to listen to them, that seemed to comfort them.

It can be frustrating, but at his age, I don't believe he is being malicious. You may inadvertently be teaching him that this type of behavior receives attention, which could be causing him to behave in this manner more often. If you find that this is the case, work to train yourself to conceal your irritation. As someone once asked me, what is their payoff for acting that way? Attention, of course. Your payoff for getting annoyed, if you're like me, no relief whatsoever, and a large serving of guilt later on.

Enjoy all of the hugs and kisses and milk mustaches while you can!

Best wishes!

Answer 2

My 3 1/2 year old girl has a left that would give Tommy Hearns a run for his money! I would increase the frequency and duration of the timeouts. We also "take" something away that is a primary focus point with her. If she is playing with her favourite doll or watching TV.... that toy, privilege, etc. is taken away. Keep in mind, their memory is still pretty short lived. A 6 year old is better suited to have something taken away for several days as opposed to a 4 year old. Just be patient, and calm. Losing your cool will just further excite your child. Hang in there. I promise it will get better long before they reach 26. That is providing you allow them to live through the teenage years! LOL. Good luck.

Answer 3

i believe that it is crucial that oldsters take on the "be certain" function. we ought to continually be in administration, even after we sense like we are operating out of concepts! My son is now 7 years previous and that i'm able to save in recommendations the first (and very last time) he hit me, he changed into 13 months previous. Internally, it made me favor to cry because i could not comprehend why this baby that i have loved and cared for and not in any respect raised my hand to... hit me. It damage my thoughts yet, I took his hands and that i firmly appeared at him and popped him on his hands. I informed him that hitting me changed into not in any respect an decision! And besides the actual incontrovertible fact that, he changed into 13 months previous, he's 7 now and all I really ought to do is supply him that similar stern look and tone, he receives it! i have not in any respect had to pop him when you consider that. My suggestion is to outlive top of issues! he's 4 now, what is going to you do at the same time as he's 14? and somewhat begans to abuse you? Please comprehend that self-discipline Is Love! in case you do not self-discipline your little ones now with information from correcting undesirable habit than you develop volatile and irractic childrens who purely develop into burdens to you and society. Get Stern. propose What you're saying.do not make Idle Threats.save on with by On Punishments. praise basically As demanding As You Punish. ideal Regards, Ty

Answer 4

You are doing the right thing by using time out. If he thinks it is a game then maybe someone is hitting him and thinking it is funny. Don't tollerate it. You don't want him to be hitting you when he is 18. Take the time to play games with him that are appropriate. Best wishes.

Answer 5

My two year-old son does this too, and I think they get confused between that type of hitting and intentional hitting. You need to not let him get his hands near your face. At 4 years-old they are old enough to know that hitting can hurt a person. With my 2 year-old if he hits someone intentionally I tell him he gave us an owie and he has to kiss it like we kiss his owies. He is getting better about it.

Answer 6

DEAR here are three things you can do if you want my advice you do not have to take it i read medical books from a-z my aunt is a retired LPN for25 years and here it said on children like your if you want to do are not i am just trying to help you out of the mess you are in i like Evey one on here i don't know like to hurt any one make any one made at me i try not to be hurt full hate full are any thing i love ever one on here i try you all out on your life's even though i never kids due to my totally handicapped and totally disabled thank you take care happy new year (1) time out in the Conner (2) put him in your room no toys and watch him (3) as last resort you might have to raise your voice like you mean it and pop his bottom just once the sound of your voice he will cry and do not pick him up

Answer 7

Well, Younger kids tend to get excited over things. But if this happens all of the time it is kind of unusual. So, why don't you threaten him with something. For example, tell him he won't get to go to a party or something like that for awhile. When my sister was little my mother used to take out the vaccum which scared her. So she stopped being bold. Maybe you should take something out to scare him but don't hurt him or anything bad. Just try this enough to get him to stop. Hope I helped!:]

Answer 8

Grabe his hands and stare at him firmly in the eye and prononce very clearly:"it is not ok to hit people. it is not a game and it is not fun so stop it right know." be sure not to be yelling and to descend you're self to his level.
remember, you do not want to encourage/ ignore this kind of behavior or it will just get harder and harder to break the habit.

Answer 9

Uhh....not to ask the obvious, but do YOU hit HIM???? If so, you are basically teaching him how to deal with situations he doesn't like: HIT! STOP doing it and at this age, yes, you CAN use words (not reasoning, but simple commands, with Time-outs!). How OLD are you, anyway???

To anyone who suggested MORE hitting or even spanking: come over to MY house and see how far you get, trying to spank ME when I say or do something you don't like! yeah, you won't hit an adult or a teen who can clock your brains out, but you'll pound on an innocent, helpless toddler! SICK!

Answer 10

Well it's a habit that was tolerated earlier....so now you want it stopped.......only way to do that is grab the hand that is coming towards you and tell them not to hit you anymore and that he is getting stronger and it's starting to hurt...punishing him for something he was taught or was allowed to is not a good thing.