My fiance cheated but I still want to marry him, what's wrong with me?

Question

My husband had sex with two girls on his bachelor party last week and I want to forgive him and get married! What is wrong with me? I know I am on the heavy side and I won't find another man because I don't work out

Answer 1

Are you for real??? LEAVE THIS MAN PLEASE!!!!!!!! He will ONLY hurt you more!!!
If he done this to you BEFORE getting married and giving his vows, what will he do to you when you are official and you become his wife forever???? If you cn't make that move NOW, then he WILL cheat on you again, b/c you LET him!!!! Have the power to LEAVE and don't think LESS of yourself because you on the heavy side....My dear, someone will love you JUST the way you are, beautiful inside AND out!! Good luck...

Answer 2

This is a serious issue. You should definitely not be in a rush to get married until you are sure that it has been resolved. Please believe that there is nothing wrong with you; it has nothing to do with you, and it is not your fault. All relationships are based on trust, and If you have reason to not trust this person, you can only distance yourself, or attempt to resolve the lack of trust. It is not good for anyone involved to be in a relationship where trust is in question.

As for forgiving him, I would be cautious. It depends on how much you feel it is worth it to you. If he seems to honestly regret it, and committed to doing whatever it takes to earn your trust again, you should probably give him the benefit of the doubt, and it would help for both of you to get some professional advice in this regard. Remember there is a difference between forgiving someone, and "enabling" them.

Infidelity almost always implies a lack of maturity in some respect or another. This is why I would be skeptical of his intentions. If he wants to downplay the issue, or is unwilling to take full responsibility for his actions, and do what it takes to earn your trust, there may not be much that you can do. Like I said you should talk to a Counselor, as I am not an expert.

And remember, If you do decide to break up, It is not your fault things turned out the way they did, and no one could fairly blame you for what happened. You shouldn't be bitter just because you where unlucky and someone else treated you poorly. There are always other men out there if you are willing to look for them.

Good Luck!
~Donkey Hotei

Answer 3

So you're "on the heavy side" and that gives him license to disregard his commitment to you and cheat on you? No. What happens when you have a baby or two/are busy at work/have a headache/backache/heartache? He will go out and do it again? You need to separate the two issues here. You are good enough the way you are. That is separate from what he did. If you love him and can move past it, good luck and I hope you and he are happy for 67 years. If you cannot move past it or you think he might do it again, you need to at least delay the wedding.

I wish you the best. And if this guy does not become your husband, you will find another guy. If you are self-conscious because you don't work out, maybe you can start. Mr. Right might go to the same gym.

Answer 4

Well, if you want to marry him because you're afraid you won't get another guy, then that's the wrong reason to marry anyone, and I'm afraid the odds are not in your favor to stay married to this guy.

But, I would hesitate about dumping a guy who cheated at his bachelor party. Was he drunk? I'm assuming the girls were strippers. If you can forgive this, and are convinced that this was something out of the ordinary for him, and feel good about going through with the wedding, then do so. You're the only one who can decide this. But you have to be able to totally forgive him for this, and not use it as ammunition in future arguments you have with him.

Answer 5

GET OUT NOW!!! This is what you have to look forward to for the rest of your life if you marry him. Imagine adding children to the mix. Would you want to bring kids into a home like that, where odds of divorce are astronomical. Not only did he cheat on you , he did it with 2 girls on the same day! That is just unforgivable. He has likely cheated before you just havent found out yet. A man like this who cheats so close to getting married in such a heinous way will not hesitate to continue when you are married. Save yourself an any kids years or grief and dump this loser now!!! If you do marry him you deserve what you get frankly. Its just a shame your future kids won't get a say in the matter. My advice is grow a backbone, take a louisville slugger to his car and move on.

Answer 6

You love him and that's ok but you also know that what he did was wrong and as they say "Once a dog always a dog". He'll do it again. You can bet on it. Being on the heavy side has nothing to do with anything (even if you work out). You will find another man and one that won't cheat on you.

Answer 7

Stop! The only reasonyou want to go through with this is because you want that wedding. It'as not the guy and you know damn well it's not your weight. There are plenty of guys out there who love heavy set women, and will treat them right. You've dreamed about that day for sooo long that you are not willing to let anything come in the way of you walking down that isle. Think is he really worth the rest of your life, and stop being in a rush to say I do to the first fool that ask you. You have to love yourself first and then the rest will fall into place.

Answer 8

Believe me there are men out there that prefer curvy women. This situation has some different facets. If you forgive, what will his attitude be? Will it be permission to disrespect you the rest of your life cuz' he knows you'll suck it up? Will he think your really cool to forgive him for enjoying his batchlor party and treasure the memory . Being grateful that you seen it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to play out a fantasy. It was only ? inches and 15 minutes, after all. It's you he comes home to. If you decide to forgive my only advise is let him talk about it. Don't let it be a sore spot between you.

Answer 9

hey don't say you will never find any other man... well here is my personal experience.. that happened to be months before we got married,, i found out i was sooo devestated,,, but you know one,, well here is the thing i am awomen of faith so before me and my husban where even a couple,, i asked God for a sign,, and he gave it to me so i knew he was going to be the one for me right... well months past everything seem perfect ,,,, and he told me of what he did,, i had to choices to make leave him or forgive him... i did forgive him and honey i'm soo happy i did i'm teh happiest person ,,, you can either forgive him and try to forget about it or leave him and try to be happy with soemone else.. soem guys do thisat the bachelor party becuase its of wa of a last pleasure they will never get to touch again,,, i sure hope it works for you as well,, and mean while here is a book i've been reading its called "The power of the Wife that Prays" by Stormie Omartian.
that book has been a blessing in my marriege,,,

Answer 10

Poor thing! Please let him go. He obviously has no respect for you or his comittment to your relationship. I don't care what excuses he comes up with - even if the stripper was bouncing on his lap and beggin him for it or he was so drunk he couldn't see straight - he did it because he has no respect for you. And it's not going to be any different when you get married. If you'll forgive him for that, then what else will you forgive him for? If he does it again? Just because you're heavier set is no excuse not to save yourself from a bad relationship. And you can't be sure that you won't find another man. Don't settle just because you're afraid to be alone. The wedding is superficial - what counts is your marriage. Please please please break it off with this selfish loser and move on. Find a man worthy of your affections and have the wedding and marriage of your dreams.