i love my friend to death but i have liked this guy for years and he finally asked me out! I love my friend but i love my boyfriend too. we have been dating for 4 months and mty friend still cant get over him ... but i love him to much to let him go. but i dont want to loose the friendship me and her have cuz we have been friends since k-5 .. please offer me advice signedd: double clueless
2007-01-14 12:47:59 · 14 answers · asked by hcoxchick15 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl, I have to say WHAT? You broke the unspoken rule. Men will come and go, but true friends are forever.
2007-01-14 12:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by *Shaun* 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Double Clueless:
This is quite the predicament that you are in. Although I am of a mind that says it is expressly forbidden to date or become in any way involved with a friend's ex-lover, or love interest, I can't tell you what to believe in. I can tell you, however, that I understand why your friend is angry with you, and that she has every right to.
I can only tell you the truth about how this is going to go, and about what you can do to avoid it, but it might be a little harsh. I am sorry about that, but I can only be completely honest.
The fact is that the guy in question is no good. Neither for you nor for your friend. First, you need to consider the reasons why they broke up. Second, you need to realize that he picked you up on the rebound... and that is never good.
Although you have been dating for 4 months, that is no indicator that he feels the same about you. Even if he says he does, I cannot believe he would be serious. He did leave your friend and started dating you, what makes you think he won't do the same to you? And if you are thinking: people change, or it's going to be different... don't put your heart into that bet, because bigger chances lie in that you will loose it.
You have let your friendship with your best friend get severed, knowingly. If I were your her, I would be thinking you were never a friend, not if you have liked him for years and are now dating him after knowing that I am still hung up on him.
I think you must re-evaluate your feelings and the relationships that are involved. Which do you value most? Right now, it only aparents it is the relationship you have with a guy that, although you have known him for a while, you have only had for about 5 seconds, while you had a relationship with your best friend for an entire lifetime and you have decided to simply let it go to waste.
Think about all this before you even try to make your "best friend" a friend again.
2007-01-14 14:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by km_berrios 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will have to choose between one of them but the fact is, he may only be interested in you because he wanted to cheat on her with you when they were together and now is interested in you to get back at her!! On one hand, I suspect that if you and your girl friend are no longer friends, he will lose interst in you also. Best bet, have a talk with her and tell her how you feel but that if she wants you will dump him you will.
On the other hand, if you discuss this with him as well and find out he had a good reason for dumping her and really likes you for not being like her, maybe you should dumnp her as well. Good luck to you either way since you will either lose a friend or a boy friend apparently.
2007-01-14 13:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, if he would not get it presently, he under no circumstances will. it is very genuine once you've sat him down and defined that those issues make you sense good. It also helps in case you clarify to him that you want a courting the position the guy makes the female sense only practically as good as she makes him sense. If he won't be able to draw close an difficulty-free theory like that, i'm afraid he's were given different issues. I advise heavily, who's informed factor sparkling, commence making the first flow and would not? And he won't be able to likely love you after 6 months if he hasn't touched you. authentic love promises wings. It skill you are able to communicate about some thing and share some thing. there is not any longer one sentence in that finished description that even has a small volume of love in it. you only favor to trust that because you want him and favor to trust that he likes you back. you won't be able to have a pleased courting with someone who gained't do some thing trouble-free only to pleas you, believe me. All you may do is sacrifice your emotions for his and that is not any longer healthful. in case you've defined it that way, then i'm sorry to assert, yet he's hopeless for you immediately. the in trouble-free words different rationalization that i will imagine of is that he's having some difficulty at abode because 6 months of shyness is not only unusual for a young person boy, it truly is really remarkable. If he would not communicate about his emotions ever, then there would nicely be some thing to that... good success and undergo in concepts that relationships ought to artwork both methods, no longer HIS methods.
2016-10-31 02:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i did the same thing and my friend didnt talk to me for like forever and then she finalyy imed me on aim and said that she doesnt want to hate me for the rest of her life we r not bestfriends anymore and we like never talk but at least she doesnt hate me anymore when i see her she tells me and my boyfriend hey i say give her time 2 ajust to yall going out and after six months if she still hates u write her a letter about how u feel and if she still doesnt talk 2 u then she needs 2 get a life and grow up cause life goes on and if thats the case then u dont deserve her as a friend and one day she will relisse she was being childish and she will come around and wanna be your friend again it may take a year or so but she will relize i promise hope this helps.
2007-01-14 12:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by cuddle_me_172002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! let me answer this because it has happened to me before!
She should be happy for you! if her ex-boyfriend goes out with you that means he loves you not her. Give her a few more weeks and if she is still mad at you lay it on her. tell her that she cant be mad forever. And that you love this guy and he loves you and not her anymore. if that doesn't work have her ex talk to her and explain things to her. if that doesn't work well................ a guy cant come between two best friends.
P.s you might ask.... What happened to you? Well my friend got over it and i am now in the 7th grade. We have been dating for almost a year and we do stuff together....all three of us!
2007-01-14 12:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by Mackenzie L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try to put yourself in her shoes and figure out how you would feel in her situation. You can try writing her a letter and letting her know that you care about her AND your boyfriend and you don't want to have to choose between them. Ultimately, though, you can't control anyone other than yourself. If she continues to choose to not talk, even after you've made the effort and tried to explain your side, you can't change that.
2007-01-14 12:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by neuralchick 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she's such a good friend she wouldn't be acting like this. After all it was her EX boyfriend. It is only a selfish little immature brat that would pull the silent routine ... Dump her and stick with your boyfriend.
2007-01-14 12:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rule No. 1 ,,,,, Never go out with your friends X ,,,, Rule No. 2 Never go out with your friends X ,,,, Rule No. 3 ,,,, Never got out with your friends X ,,,, Want to know what rule No. 4 is ??
2007-01-14 12:54:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to follow your heart. Some people will tell you its wrong, and then some will tell you as long as they were through, she should just get over it! Good luck to you, its probably going to come down to you having to choose between them unfortunately.
2007-01-14 12:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by veronica c 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋