my parents got diorced when i was really little. i am thirteen and my mom got remarried when i was eight. i want to live with my dad but i dont want to hurt my moms feelings. what do i do?
2007-01-14 12:31:41 · 15 answers · asked by Shelby L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're gonna hurt her feelings, no matter how you say it. You either tell her straight and go, or you stay where you are.
2007-01-14 12:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i agree with the rest of the group when they say there is no getting around hurting your mother.
From a mom's point of view i would be really upset that my daughter did not want to live with me anymore, however there must be something you are not mentioning a problem you have been having.
On the other side i am with a man who i wish his kids would come and move in with us.
I think that you should sit your mom down at a good time for her and explain that you not doing this to hurt her you just need a change of pace and to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is what you want.
Email me later if you need to talk to someone else further in depth.
Good luck
2007-01-14 12:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice is for you to sit down, alone and write down why you want to live with your dad. What are you looking for from living with him that you are not getting from your mom. Being a teenager is tough. Sometimes it seems like you can put all of your happiness on one different thing in your life and that may or may not be the answer. Look deep into it. Writing the reasons down will help you make your decision and make it easier to talk to your parents about it. I would actually suggest you talk to your mom first. Tell her what you are feeling and ask her for support. I think it is so amazing that you are valuing your mom's feelings. Make sure you are clear when you talk to your mom about why you want to move. Don't just say, "because I do." Give value to your reasons and feelings. Good luck.
2007-01-14 13:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by working mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello =)
Talk to your dad first......and make sure that the two of you are on the same page.........
Then just say to your mom "I love you, mom, but I think I'd like to try and get to know my Dad a little better before I'm all grown up....but just so I know, if things don't work out with him, can I come back home after a little while??"
That way, it sounds like more of a temporary thing, and doesn't sound like it's all about her. She's going to be hurt either way, but this will soften the blow some.......Make sure you call your mom a lot, once you do move to your Dad's, and she'll be fine.....
Namaste,
--Tom
2007-01-14 12:39:04 · answer #4 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie, honestly, you can't tell someone that you don't want to be with them without hurting their feelings....but it's not like you won't ever get to see her again. If she's a real mother, like I'm guessing she is, she'll understand that at this precious age you need that paternal bond. She'll be hurt, but she'll understand. Just tell her in the most sweetest, sincere way possible...make a list of pros and cons of living with both parents, then compare and make sure living with your dad is what you really want. Then...make a list of reasons why you want to live with your dad and then tell your mother...Good luck babe!
2007-01-14 12:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing to do is find out if its okay with your dad and stepmom that you move in with them. Does your dad know about the drinking and fighting? If so, that will make for a better reason for you to live with him. he will have to petition the court to get full custody of you. You are old enough to have a say in where you live. Keep in mind that its easy for your dad and stepmom to see your point of view and be nice to one another because you are not there all the time. they may have fights when you are not there, etc..
2016-05-24 03:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents you need to sit down with both of them and talk about something. Make a list of reasons why you want to live with your dad. Tell your mom it is not that you do not love her, but that you would be happiers right now with your dad. If you go to a counselor, do it in your counselor's office. If not, you may want to consider going to one so you can have a neutral third party adult there to mediate.
2007-01-14 12:36:22 · answer #7 · answered by shasser2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are going to hurt your mom's feelings anways. When you tell her, sit her done and explain to her way you'd go with your dad, but reassure her that you wanna visit her in the summer and on brakes... this should make her feel better... a bit anyways.
2007-01-14 12:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by surfin_gal007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you this but there is no way that you are not going to hurt her feelings. You should try talking to her.. Hurting or not she needs to know how you feel.... Maybe you will find out that something else is going on and that you two can work it out..
2007-01-14 12:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going to have to be honest with her and do not blame. If you are not honest about it in a few years or even months you will start to feel angry inside and it will end up causing problems with you and your Moms relationship. The best thing you can be is honest. Its a hard conversation to have
2007-01-14 12:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to hurt your mom's feelings no matter what. But there is no way around that. If you're serious about moving in with your dad you've gotta talk to her.
2007-01-14 12:35:50 · answer #11 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋