Why can't I keep my cool when it comes to my daughters?

Question

My 5 & 3 yr.-old daughters are extremely misbehaved when we go to the grocery store, mall,...etc. They run around like they are free from everything. I am so afraid that some "wierdo" will take 1 or both of my daughters when they are running around. A leash is an option, but I'm afraid that someone will report me for having a leash on them. And, of course, I can't spank them when we're out in public anymore. I don't want to go to jail for disciplining my own children. I could do what my father did when I was young...throw myself on the floor & throw a fit. I don't want to go to the "looney bin"!!! That is where I'll be when it comes to now days!!!!!! I can't afford "The Nanny" either!! Wish I could!
Help before I put myself in the "looney bin"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

If you're anything like me it's because you somehow expect them to know how to act by osmosis lol. I have learned that the secret to not becoming a crazy person as a parent is choices. I give my children choices every time we go out. If we go to the grocery store they have the choice of behaving and picking out an item either for themselves or for the family that I normally wouldn't buy, or misbehaving and not getting the item, or if the misbehaviour is bad enough of going home. This should work for 5 and 3 year olds, depending on their mental and emotional maturity and your normal parenting style. In restaurants I use behave or we leave now and when we get home I will cook the meal. Then I would intentionally make the meal bad, either something they didn't like or conveniently overcooking it (oops I don't know how that happened). My children soon learned that didn't pay off. At the same time I use a mix of games to keep them from becoming bored. At 5 and possibly 3 they can probably recognize letters and numbers and you can see how many you can see on a shelf. I also had them help me locate items on the shelves as they sort by brand near me not item (carrots are in 4 different places for one size - total pain) We also did color games, and mixed in lessons on social behaviour and any other thing we happened to see. It can be alot of talking, but worth it for less frustration in my opinion. For restaurants and places they will need to sit, I like washable crayons and paper or coloring books. Then you can tell stories, play games like tic tac toe, draw funny faces. You have to be creative, kids like fun. Also, I know you've seen this a million times, but try to avoid shopping at nap times. Tired children are a nightmare in stores and there's nothing for it but to either leave immediately, or if that is not possible, rush lol. If they simply refuse to stay at your side you have no choice but to inform them of the existence of child snatching strangers. Don't present it in a scary way. I just told mine that there are people out there that take children from their parents. I don't want to lose you so please stay with me. Of course they ask who the people are and you may have some embarrassing moments when they point at people and ask if that person or that person could take them. Good natured people will understand the need to teach them this and may even answer the child. When mine asked what the people do with the kids I told them I don't know(coward prob, but i think they are too young to know specifics). Good Luck

Answer 2

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Putting a leash on them isn't going to get you in any trouble, but will probably result in a lot of resistance from the girls. You probably don't want to be seen dragging them (literally) around the mall either. Just make things clear before you go someplace that you want them to behave a certain way. Let them know the consequences if they don't do as they are told. Say you tell them you will leave the store if they misbehave, and they start running all over. Do what you tolf them you would do. even if you leave a full cart of groceries int he middle of the isle. They'll get the idea after a while. And if the behave, praise is a great motivator. A little treat wouldn't hurt either, but not all the time or they'll expect rewards for normal behavior. Good luck!

Answer 3

I HAVE THAT SAME PROBLEMS!! MY GIRLS ARE 5&4. They are unruly and wild! They act up for me, but nobody else! I know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!! Sometimes I feel so helpless, and unlike you I had a trip to the looney bin! The child leashes do not work... By now your girls now how to unleash themselves...Mine did! The whole throwing a fit will not work either... I tried that and my kids laughed at me and told me I was Crazy! Honestly.... This is all a phase and they are testing you. Eventually they will get over it. Maybe if the father is involved in their lives..He should up his voice and assert himself. If not then Try upping your voice, or stare into their eyes with a firm tone and tell them that they need t ostraighten out or else they will get a spanking. If need be take them to a bathroom and swat their hands. These days they are quick to jump on a parent for everything, but that's when I turn around and ask them How their parents raised them? Ten to One they got the good old fashion @$$ whooping!

GOOD LUCK AND HOPEFULLY THIS MAKES YOU A BIT SETTLED THAT YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH IT!

Answer 4

Your children are misbehaved because you have not set clear ground rules when out. They obviously are happy to be out and "free" in public. However, you need to set the ground rules, that it is not allowed unless you state so. If you go out and have not said it is ok for them to run and play, the second that they do, grab them by the arm and march them extremely quickly out to the car and go home. You will only have to do this a couple of times until they will listen to you and not do it. Never be afraid to grab your kids by the arm pit and walk/pull them out from where you are.

Answer 5

Whenever they begin misbehaving grab them by the arm somewhat tight and staring directly to thier eyes and say No More...DO YOU UNDERSTAND? And they will look at you several times trying to see if you were playing or being serious about. Make sure that every time you return the look at them is very sharp straight forward and meaningfull. If that doesn't work, when you spank them only one time but enough like to create pain and not hate towards you.

Answer 6

You may not be able to afford a nanny but you need to get the kids under control because they know that they can control. you. Give them time outs and stick to it don't let up with disciplining them. I know first hand that this is hard but it works. You can also make a rewards chart if they behave they can get candy or little trinket or time alone with you.If you find yourself still losing control maybe you have the anger illness. Check out Dr. Keith Abalo show it is good and he gives suggestions on how to handle this. good luck.

Answer 7

Well you can treat them without having to do all the things you have named of doing. Well you need to train them pets and children are kind of the same. You have to train a pet like you train children. You have to treat them nicley when you do these things and you are responsible for them. Well both of your girls run around and they dont listen im guessing. Well if there 5 and 6 then you teach themby putting them in time outs and when they want deserts after dinner do not gice them any until the learn. If they are 7 and 8 then i sugest simply sitting down with each one individually and talking to them why do you do what you do first they will explain. If they dont have them think about it for a minute or so and then ask again. Hopefully they will tell you why and you can explain to them why its wrong. Then if they still do it you have to show them who is boss you say we had talked about this know since i told you this and we went over it you have to learn not to do it. so put them in time out. Or no tv for a week. Or no friends over. Little and simple things like that but you have to learn to disapline your children and do not be afraid do it when they get home talk about it then disapline them. If they dont understand it then i say get help. Most likly though you have to learn that parents have ti be parents simetimes and learn to let there children cry for awhile and when there ready to tell you there sorry and they explain what they did wrong then they will be able to go in a store without screaming and running around. But if none of this works i suggest telling them why you dont want them running around bc you dont want someone to steal them bc they mean so much to you. But dont scare them thats only if they really dont listen.

Answer 8

My daughter is 3 months previous, and we've been dealing with the same element right here contained in the Seattle section for the period of the last week. very last week in the destiny it changed into ninety seven levels. once you've an electric powered fan you could put in the window to entice cool air, that's a initiate (or basically placed the fan contained in the room the position she spends maximum of her time and allow the cool air blow on her). i have also been making use of cool washcloths, wiping my little lady down with them and putting them on her head and tummy. I often times use a twig bottle to mist the air round her, too. we stay close to a park, so I took my daughter there on the optimal day very last week and set her down on a blanket on the grass contained in the color. She loved it! It changed into high-quality and cool contained in the grass, and he or she loved the feel of it on her little feet - it turned right into a very new journey for her! Is there a public pool close by you could take her to? be particular to slather her with countless sunscreen and placed a hat on her in case you could so she would not get burned. yet another element that worked for me - I placed a cheap little inflatable kiddie pool ($10) on our deck and crammed it with about an inch of water. Then I sat in it such as her and splashed her with the cool water. She had an recommendations-blowing time! except the above, the perfect i'm able to imagine of is to save her someplace cool and air conditioned in the course of the day (food market, movie educate, finding out to purchase mall) and then go away a fan going/position cool washcloths on her at the same time as she sleeps. examine her temp often to be sure it would not flow above 100.4. If it does, be particular you call a time-honored practitioner promptly. i desire this helps!

Answer 9

you should spank your kids where and when you see fit.. its good parenting to be a good parent, not try to fit in with people at the mall.. thats the problem with alot of people.. to fake.. get real with it.. this aint oprah, fellas.. im not saying beat your kids but, i am saying DONT get a leash.. remember, REAL WITH IT.. come on.. and with two baby girls that young, you should keep your frickin eyes on them and not let a 'weirdo' get the chance.. there are alot of good people out there to though that dont mind if you spank your kids when they need it and dont want to run off with your babies, even ones with poopy names and looks and such..

Answer 10

a leash is not a bad thing is people ask say it is so taht no one will take them you can't get in trouble for that. also take away toys and stuff like that