I found out my boyfriend of 2 years and who i have just entered into a mortgage with,mmet up and went to dinner with a lass from his work. I checked his mobile account and found out since sept he has text/called her 820 times. I found out he has been having a relationship with her for ove 3 months and He swore once i found out about the meeting, that it was over.
so we tried to get through it and i thought we were getting somewhere, slowly getting through it and i found out that he had text her and been in touch, Like any normal human being i shouted and i cried and we decided once again to get through it.
Then once again one day when he was away to work he had left his e-mail open and i found an e-mail to her, he had been in touch AGAIN.
What do i do? dont tell me to leave him, if it was as easy as that i would of done it by now. If you have been cheated on and got through it, please tell me what you done it.
2007-01-14 12:18:35 · 19 answers · asked by sarah k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't leave him stay with him until he have the same feeling first find someone like me that can make you feel your value and appreciate you. cheat on him you will see how soon he will change.
start getting late home go out with friend ignored him and you will see the different when he see he can lose you.
2007-01-14 13:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by Best Dominican 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi Sarah
Sorry you are being cheated on. I was married for thirty years and like you found out through text messages that my husband was having an affair. When it came out in the open we seperated.
I felt really let down by him and here I am one year later and still cant get over it. Thirty years is a long time!!! I have since found out that he had a few affairs over the years. What im trying to say is once a cheat always a cheat. I know it will be very hard for you but you should get rid of him before its too late. Dont leave it too late like me .......Over 50 with two kids to bring up and totally alone with no chance of meeting someone else. I have been left with no money because he is spending it all on his new girlfriend and have had to take on a second job to pay the huge morgadge he has left me with. You sound young.....dont give yourself a life sentance.
2007-01-14 21:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by bernie b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
now doll, i dont know exactly what your going through as nothing on that scale has happened to me. It seems as though your best be would be to sit down and have a proper talk with him. Let him know that you can't keep going on like this for much longer as it is breaking your heart. Ask him if he really loves you, of course he'll say yes but the you are going to have to guilt him into feeling bad about what he is doing so the best thing is to cry. I know it might sound a little crazy but you are obviously comitted to him and it should be the same vice versa.
If he carrys on with it you should suggest relationship counselling to him as this could help. I know that you can't just leave him but if he is still doing it in a months time then i think it's you only option unless you want on carry on being unhappy.
You could maybe try going to get some advice from a counsellor on the situation by yourself, they may be able to help you alot.
Good luck darling x
2007-01-14 21:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by georgie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same thing happen. Trust me- from someone who had the exact same thing happen... You will never trust him and you will ALWAYS question where he's at. Once a philanderer, always a philanderer. Relationships need to be based on trust. DO NOT TRUST HIM. Get out before other issues creep up making it even more difficult to leave because after all that you've put up with so far- the love is going to be lost and you'll wonder why you'd waste so much time over a loser like him!
Be brave and do it soon.
2007-01-14 20:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by antagonist 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult for you to protect yourself because you have been with this man for 2 years and now you have a mortgage with him. So, you have an emotional and financial investment in this man.
Would it help you if I point out to you that obviously neither of these things means anything to him? If they did he wouldn't be seeing her at all.
My own experience of being cheated on is that if a person is inclined to cheat, it is very difficult for them to change their ways.
He obviously has no respect for your relationship. You caught him out and still he has gone back to her.
What does that tell you?
You deserve better than this. There are men out there who are mature enough not to do things like this.
Why would you want to stay with someone like this? Maybe there is someone who will give you the answer you are looking for, but only you know whether you have the ability to stay with someone who is coldly and selfishly capable of lying to you over and over again. I hope there are no children involved.
You need to love yourself more than you love him/the benefits of being with him.
Good luck.
2007-01-14 22:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun I feel for you I have been through that before.I was 7 months pregnant and he cheated on me many times.One night I walked in on him.One thing I always say.Once a cheater alway's a cheater.It is never easy to leave the person ,but for you it would be the best.I know it's not what you want to hear but you need to find you a better man.One that will treat you like you need to be treated. I did know I have a great guy.We have been together for 3 years.Leaving my cheating ex was the best thing I ever did.Good luck!
2007-01-14 20:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by Lacie A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not going to change. I would extract myself from this guy as soon as I could. People buy property together all the time and then break up. Salvage what you can from this relationship financially, then move on. If you can't afford to buy out his share of the property, then let him buy out your share. At the very least, you should be able to garner the amount you invested in the property, if not more.
Good luck. Frankly, I don't see how continuing to be in this relationship could possibly be emotionally healthy for you. But that's just me. I'd leave.
2007-01-14 20:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetie, how can we not tell you not to leave him? I mean, seriously, would you tell that to your best friend? If you want advice, you need to be prepared to hear it.
Seriously, that guy is hopeless, you know that, you are realizing it.
It does not matter how much you love him, that does not change the fact that he is not changing. What can you do about it? Nothing, you have already talked about it, twice, and he is still at it.
I'm very sorry to say this, but the only sensible advice is that you have to leave him. And yes, I do understand it is hard. We all have been through that.
Get your strength back, make up your mind, leave him, find someone who is nice to you. Don't you deserve that?
2007-01-14 20:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by iamalion 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you said don't tell you to leave him, but unfortunately i think that is the best possible thing to do. Don't you as a woman think that you deserve a better man, one that wont cheat on you or lie to you like that. I know you may love him, but as much as it hurts, if he loved you he wouldn't be doing all these hurtful things to you. You should not have to put up with that, and I think that its because you accepted him back that he would do that to you again. Even if you wont relaly leave, just act like your leaving, and if he really truly loves you, he'll get himself in shape. Good luck girl...PS> Ill be praying for you, as I know from experience that these situations are tough to deal with...
2007-01-14 20:44:33 · answer #9 · answered by Rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your desperate for him, so he can do what he likes and you'll never walk away. Your not good enough to cope without him. He is a living God in your world. You really think you can manage alone, give it a rest, your a uselss little woman.
That is the way he will be thinking, give him a shock. Leave him and never look back.
I wish you the best sweetheart, you can do it xxx
2007-01-14 20:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by Michelino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋