How do I go without pursuing child support?

Question

I am pregnant with my 2nd child. The father of my first child is not in the picture nor has he ever been. My son is now 3 years old and pursuing him for child support would only confuse him. This is the thing I have health insurance through my husband but it turned out not to be that good. It would cost us $400 for the first 5 doctor visits without delivery cost or a sonogram. I have applied for medicade and they are telling me I have to fill out an absent parent form for my 3 year olds father so they can find him for child support. I don't want anything from him. As soon as my husband and I save enough money he is going to adopt my son. How can I still get help without giving them a name?

Answer 1

I had the same problem when i was pregnant with my second son. The way i got out of it? Told them i did not know who the father was. Even so, you can give them a name, but you can tell them you have had no contact and don't know the last known residence, or tell them he moved out of state. I know when they told me that, i was like h#ll no! I am not giving them that info!! (my sons "donor" had been gone for 5 years) It all worked out, and got medicaid pregnancy.
They can't force you to go and get child support from him. I am so glad i never did, because now my husband is going to adopt him, and it is sooo much easier since there was never a DNA test, no name on the birth certificate, or anything. He doesn't exist. A notice goes in the local paper, and then that's it. My son will have a real father. Good for you and your family!!! I believe in Karma, and those men will get theirs that's for sure!!

*** I just read some of the responses, and DON"T listen to them. Only YOU know what is best for your situation. If some man disappears from your life and his sons, then WHY would you want to "force" him to see a child??? That is NOT good for that boy. Sounds like he has a dad now. Those people shouldn't be telling you to make him pay. Every situation is different. I know that a few dollars my ex MAY have paid woudl not be worth the visitation he may or may not use. Because that person up there is WRONG. If you get paternity established, He has rights until your son wants to be adopted. And courts are pushing for visitation with fathers now. So even if he choses not to pay you, you can't withhold him seeing your child. And you have to go to court multiple times to get him arrested for support. You are doing the right thing!!

Answer 2

He is responsible for paying you, no matter what. And most likely the courts will not allow him to see your son but still pay child support. If he has not made contact nor been in the picture with your son, the judge will see this and not grant any type of custody. You can always lie and say you dont know where the father is as well. But it seems to always catch up with you. Try the program AIM, it helps pay for a lot.
That is great that your husband is wanting to adopt your 3 year old. But be aware that your ex will have to sign papers and allow this to happen, regardless of where he is. It sucks because only your son may suffer. Gotta love the judicial system! Good luck. And being pregnant...dont stress about the 400 dollars. Payments can be made!

Answer 3

i ended up pregnant after i was devorced and had no choice but to get insurance thru the state to cover the extra costs of the pregnancy. sometimes you just dont have a choice. you have to fill out the paper but that doesnt mean that he will ever have something to do with his son. you can give a name but if you dont have an address then theres nothing they can do. they only use his info to find him to pay back anything that may be used for your son. any extra money does go to you but it doesnt mean you have to use it. if you want nothing from him you can get something done about it thru a lawyer its doesnt cost much if there is a reason to have your huband adopt your son like if his father has never been there or had anything to do with him that is abandonment. there is a chance they will never find him without a ss# and or and address. you should just fill out the paper and talk to a lawyer about the problem and see what can be done about the absent parent

Answer 4

If your son by another man is covered under your husbands insurance that would mean that the other man is either not on the birth certificate or has signed away all parental rights. Insurance companies do not "normally" insure step children unless there is either an adoption involved or the bio father is not on the birth certificate and your husband is claiming him as his child. If such is the case then you can't go after the bio father for support because your husband has taken over that role.

Answer 5

I understand that you don't want anything from the father, but as for the rest of us, we shouldn't have to support you and your husband's new baby because you don't want to deal with the father of your first. I understand people get in bad situations, but each of us should be responsible for situations we put ourselves in, including your son's father. By you backing away from the situation, it just lets him off the hook and puts the burden on others who weren't involved.

My husband and I have 3 boys, and can't always afford their healthcare even with insurance either. Set up a payment plan, most offices will work with you, I work at one that does.

Also, how does you naming your son's father to get child support confuse him. He only knows what you tell him right now and you don't need to tell him unless the guy demands visitation. If he does want visitation, he has a right to know his child and his son to know him.

Answer 6

I think it's in your best interest to pursue this. There is nothing saying you HAVE to allow him to see your son. Even if you want nothing from the father you need the healthcare. One option would be to take the child support money and have it put directly into a bank account for you son's college fund. he deserves it.

Answer 7

You can fill out the form and when they contact you in regards to the case just simply tell them that you do not want them involved. My best friend did this and it was dropped. However the man should be held responsible atleast helping you financially and when you save the money petition him and Im sure he'll give up his rights since he's had no contact and will be pissed off he owes you 3 yrs support

Answer 8

If you go to your local child support or welfare office,they will find your childs dad for free (and do free perternity testing if needed) Once the childs farther is found,he can either willinly agree to child support deductions from his weekly wages or,the child support office will take him to court.Fathers must pay for children,it's the law.You will never have to see or deal with the father unless he takes you to court for visition rights.He probably wouldn't win in court anyway since he's a deadbeat.

Answer 9

He should be paying the court ordered amount. You'll have to take the issue back to court to get the issue resolved. Of course he'll know you pursued it, who else would? I say do it for your kids and let him confront you and be a jerk all he wants.

Answer 10

You could maybe tell the Medicaid office that you don't know who the father is. I don't know if it will work or not (and it might make you feel silly to say that) but it's an idea.