My current girlfriend is 26 years old with two kids and I am only 18. Many people tell me I shouldn't tread on that water, well what if it doesn't bother me? Should I still do it?
Also, she has slept with around 30 guys before this...is it right to judge this? Or should it not concern me at all? I really love her a lot and she loves me too. I just don't know what to think about this.
2007-01-14 12:09:03 · 9 answers · asked by wtfhorses 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think you asking this question shows your doubt. also, listen to the people around you whom you trust over people you dont even know on yahoo answers!
but if you really love her maybe what she needs right now is a friend. get to know her and her children better, and be there for her. if it is true love all your doubts will be erased, plus your relationship will be built on a friendship, which is the strongest base a relationship can have!
ps listen to your instinct.
2007-01-14 12:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are mature for your age, you can certainly "handle" a 26-year-old woman with two kids. If the two of you can achieve emotional intimacy together, have good communicaiton skills between the two of you, and are comitted to making the relationship work, there's no problem with the age difference, or with the kids.
How many men she has slept with is her business. How did you find out this information? Did she tell you voluntarily? Did you ask? It should be of no importance to you. What's past is past. I usually don't get into discussions of past relationships with men I'm dating until we are well underway to establishing something solid together, and even then the stuff comes out in bits and pieces and is generally related to how the other person handled certain aspects of their past relationships. I don't give a rat's *** how many people my partners have slept with. It's irrelevant.
It's possible you are looking at numbers of partners and have some stereotyped thinking about women and sexuality. Get over it. If a man said he slept with 30 women, nobody would bat an eye. When a woman says it, she's often considered a "sl**," or "easy," or labeled with some other derogatory stereotypical sexist term. Let's get past this narrow-minded and bogus way of thinking about gender and just accept that the sexual revolution has been going on for 30 years now, and how many people, and who we all sleep with, is nobody else's business.
2007-01-14 12:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always want to know does it matter about the age difference between you and your significant other. The solution to that is it should not matter how old that person is as long as you love them and you care about each other. I am sure whatever happened in her past might have you concerned then talk to your girl about it, if she tell you everything is fine and that there is nothing to be worried about then you have nothing to worry about unless you want to know if you has anything you can get like a disease or and STD. If you are worried about this ask for you benefit if she will get checked so you and her can have a piece of mind. Other then that focus on the relationship you have while keeping an open mind and being about to talk about your problems and coming up with solutions to those problems and being committed to each other. Honesty and Communication in a relationship is importand in determines whether a relationship will survive or will there be a breakup.
2007-01-14 12:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the first part of your question, if it doesn't bother you then so be it. I know I wouldn't date a 26-year-old with two kids if I was only 18.
Second, 30 guys is quite a damn bit. However, it is nice she was honest with you, as almost every woman lies to their current boyfriend/husband about how many men they've had sex with. I'd be worried about diseases and why she has slept with so many. But that is just me.
2007-01-14 12:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with the age difference or the fact that she has kids. My Dad was 17 when he met my mom, who was 25, they started dating after he was 18 and married when he was 19. I was 8 when they married and my brother was 5. We both call him Dad and he adopted both of us. As far as the partners she has had...if it doesn't bother you then I wouldn't see where it would be a problem unless she has a diease from past mistakes. We all do things that we are not proud of at some point and at least she has been honest with you about it.
2007-01-14 12:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rhonda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was wonderful for lady to be able to be honesty out front to you on her relationships wit other men...
That is perfectly fine if you are not bother by it...if not, you must be true to yourself and be fair to her too...
Age(in LOVE) is no barrier...unless one is conscious about it...
There are thgs to consider before you make any decisions:
1) Are you ready & financially sound to support her and her two kids? If not so ready, did both u have talk about what are you intentions and expectations like getting into commitment, marriage etc...Are both you ready to take on the challenge to work for a brighter future hand in hands, hearts to hearts?
2) Are u ready to settle n commit and take on new roles responsibilities as a dad and a husband?
3) What others can do is give some opinions but u both are the involve parties which know best for yourself. Process it, weight it, talk about it not to others but to her and plan it if u are serious about her. It will not be fair for her if your decisions is affected by what other people thinks, says about your relationships. YOU GOTTA DO THE JOB URSELF! If u are affected or conscious about what how other people look, says about your involvement. It just tells that you are not so ready.
The above are just some tips to ponder about and more exploration while working with the professionals like a counsellor or coach... ...
Both of you might want to see or talk to a life coach, counsellor pertaining to that for preparation of the biggest event of your life.
Family Service Centre is available for you unless you like to see someone in private practise if you are in Singapore.
Regards,
Dexter
Live and create a beautiful life but not living in remorse thereafter
2007-01-14 12:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by Dexter 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally, I would say her past (unless she was a cheater) shouldn't be a factor. However, the sheer number of sexual partners worries me. She may have an STD that neither of you know about. She may be naturally promiscuous, and therefore not able to commit (although she may try).
And, are you really ready to have kids?
However, the fact that she was honest about her past may show that she is pretty okay. :-) Think long and hard before entering into anything long-term. If you KNOW (not think) you will be okay being a step-dad and possibly running into her past in more ways than one, then go for it.
2007-01-14 12:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whos running your life? Others or you Your an adult and she is also, just make sure thats what you want, remember kids will get attached and you dont want to hurt them or the mother so make sure your willing to seeit through
2007-01-14 12:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by P_a94 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your probley not ready for her, as for the her past, if it bothers you now, then get out
2007-01-14 12:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋