A positive way to discipline my 16 month old boy please?!?

Question

Hi, I need a positive way to discipline my 16 month old boy. He is naturally for his age, very curious and doesnt understand the concept of danger. Constantly he goes into the kitchen and climbs up on the chair and climbs onto the table. I have a 4 yr old boy too so I have two to tend to. So anyway, my 16 month old is VERY Quick! and I know what he's up to when he goes into the kitchen, he also climbs on the furniture in the livingroom (tables ect.) I don't like the idea of spanking, so please don't suggest that. right now I've been doing one of two things, putting the chairs away, which isnt always feezable, and taking him off, and moving him to his toys, and telling him NO Danger! he gets very upset and has a temper tantrum, and is right back trying to do it again a few minutes later, its like he has a one track mind! So can you give me any advice, as to how to teach him not to climb furniture???? thank you.

Ok.. seriously you guys??? LET him fall?? yeah that'l learn em! and how do you explain that one to the e.r staff?? "well, I thought I'd go about teachin him a lesson...???? Sorry I just don't think thats a safe idea. Good Luck to you and your families though.
by the way GREAT advice from the first lady, some other people may want to read it thoroughly!

Answer 1

Good for you to not use spanking. At his age, he is still so young to understand consequences so you should redirect or distract him. You can start time-out when he reaches 2 /12. This is from Supernanny. It is a great site you should check out.

Toddler-proof’ your home by placing dangerous or breakable things out of reach. Have clear routines to your child’s day, for example regular lunch, nap, bath and bedtimes. Plan ahead, keeping an eye on frustration levels so you can step in before they go over the top. Provide lots of opportunities to let off steam every day –running around outside, at the playground, dancing to music. Give children some control and choice over what to eat, wear or play with. Use distractions and diversions for as long as they work – a new toy, a changed activity, a song or game.
Most children do grow out of the need for tantrums when they have more language and understanding. But the way you deal with them in the toddler years is important. If they are handled harshly, with responses like yelling and smacking, or if you constantly ignore their feelings and need for comfort, they may well become worse and carry on for longer.

Answer 2

http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/peter_haiman.html

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/looking_past.html

I love the Natural Child project. here are just two of many articles they have on an approach to parenting that takes into consideration kids and their needs.

The book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is very very effective in teaching you and providing a program for teaching him self discipline.

As to the furniture - he's young. You must respond every single time, kindly, saying, we don't climb on furniture. or We climb at the playground, not indoors.

What you want to do is teach him your expectations, show him you're serious by being consistent, not mean. If he has a tantrum, ignore him. He will learn that tactic won't work. If he tantrums to the point of vomiting or such, don't ignore him during tantrum, hold him and just say soothing things. In either case, it's always appropriate to start teaching him the words, "you are so frustrated. I know you want to do that. I wish I could let you climb allllll over that. Oh my, you're mad. I know, I know. It's hard."

Really be where he is emotionally, so that you can be honest in your feedback and comfort.

And, Of course he's right back to climbing- he's 16 months old. If you are using toys to distract and they aren't distracting him, you might need to give him more focused attention for the first few minutes of getting him to do something else.

Also, take the chairs away from the table, if you have room.

You all sound terrific and I wish you many joys.

Answer 3

Congratulations on your choice to use positive discipline. I believe that aggressive examples only lead to aggressive actions. It sounds like you are already taking the right direction by removing him from the situation and distracting him with something else and telling him why he shouldn't be doing it (no danger - or you could actually use something like 'when you climb up on the chairs, you could fall down and hurt yourself') - I know that it won't make a lot of sense to him, but if you're consistent, eventually it will sink in. Consistency is the key word though. If he throws a tantrum, do not react. If you overreact, it fuels the behaviour. Anyway, I'm still learning, but here are a list of books and a website that have helped me:

Answer 4

My God, don't let him fall to teach him a lesson! What is wrong with these people!

I have a 15-month old...I feel your pain! He has been climbing up on the kitchen table since he was less than a year old...before he could walk! He still does it, so I can't help you with my stellar advice! All I do is say no, and redirect him to play with another toy. My son also removes outlet covers with his teeth. For that I have covered up the outlets.

Answer 5

Sometimes a child has to expierence an accident in order to learn WHY they're not to do something. My daughter had to learn what "hot" was when we were staying with my mom. Mom had a free standing wood burning stove and although there was a rail around it my daughter could fit through the bars of the railing. I finally gave up trying to keep her away from it, telling her it was 'hot' when she didn't understand the concept of hot. So I kept an eye on her one day as she "snuck" to touch the stove, she placed one finger on the top of it but pulled back immediately with a puty lip and head bent she learned what 'hot' meant. I scooped her up ran cool water over the finger applied aloe and a bandaid and all was well. She stayed away from that stove after that and anything else we said was "hot". I suggest that you allow him to climb under close supervision though. Eventually something will happen where he will fall (babies bodies are more flexible and forgiving than us old folks so it would take a fall from a rooftop to break anything) but just be there to make sure he doesn't fall from a rooftop. A fall from a table might garner him a few bruises but it will teach him WHY you don't want him to climb. Some kids are just stubborn that way and baring beating him into submission sometimes expierence is the best form of discipline.

Answer 6

I have the same problem w/ my 16 month old son. I don't spank and try not to raise my voice. I believe that if you are aggressive with them then you are only teaching them to be agressive. I put him in time out and try to talk calmly to him and let him know what he is doing is wrong and he might get hurt. I think they understand more than we think they do. Your son probably learns alot from is brother too.

Answer 7

Find something more appropriate for him to climb on. This is something that is developmentally appropriate (wanting to climb, run, and jump) but he's just doing it in the wrong place. He needs an appropriate outlet. If you find yourself fighting your child on something take a step back (I know it's hard) and see what they are really after and try to accomodate. It isn't always possible but it's nice when it works out. The links below are some examples

http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kw=climbers&f=Taxonomy%2FTRUS%2F2254197&f=PAD%2FTRU+Age+Filter%2F12-24+Months&fbc=1&fbn=TRU+Age+Filter%7C12-24+Months

Answer 8

You put them in the naughty chair one minute for how old they are. Example my son is two when he starts itting and kicking me i out him in the naughty chair for two minutes. If you have a timer set that and when that's done the child may get down you just need to talk to the child and tell him or her what he or she has done wrong to sit in time out and to say sorry.

Answer 9

Which do you rather spanking him, or him falling and getting seriously hurt. And just let him have his temper tantrum and when he does it act like noting is going on.

Answer 10

he is a boy let him fall sorry but thats the way boys are wired. good luck. you wont always be there to protect him you know he will figure it out if he is as quick as you say