Bossy Partner?

Question

My partner says his the boss, everything goes by him... tells me what to do when to do it...but there is one thing i dont like is that only rarely when he is in a bad mood...if i say can i have a hug or kiss he says no and thats final [but the reason for his moodiness is from his family, and because of that he would treat me like sh*t even though i told him i had nothing got to do with it, his family is very controlling]..but then its okay for him to kiss me and hug when he pleases, and acts like nothing happens... what is the meaning of this treatment? I care about him alot and i have put up with alot... please help

Answer 1

get out of the relationship now!!! i don,t care how the family is if that is the way he,s going to act leave him it,s not going to get better usally gets worse, i know you care about him but you,ll get over him, go out and meet someone thats nice and will let you be your own person, it will be the best move you will ever make but don,t rush right into another relationship, good luck

Answer 2

Sound's to me like you need to get the hell out of their right now. It's like a dependent relationship almost. There is nothing wrong with him making a decision in a spur of the moment deal, but in a relationship it's 50/50. Not 90/10 or any other number for that matter. I believe in the men making the final decision, but not without my two cents in it first. It's a give give type world and your in a give take relationship. No one should tell you what to do unless you are still a child. Just because his family is that way, its gives him no reason to be the same. Excuses like that are just poor.
You know there is a problem, that's why you asked the question. Seek therapy and other means of support. Their can be nothing good that comes from a controlled life. It will send you off the end.
What give him the right? Why do let him do those thing?
Love him, leave him, let him go.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Only you can decide where the line is and what amount of crap you're willing to tolerate. The thing is that this almost never gets better. You are teaching him that you will put up with some amount of abuse and this will escalate over time.

I suggest asserting yourelf now and laying down some rules about how you expect to be treated. Really, his upbringing is irrelevant. Don't let him use that as an excuse. He has a responsibility to not punish you for his family's sins. He needs to learn new ways of approaching your relationship.

I advise you to suggest counseling. If he refuses, start packing. We all deserve better than to put up with this kind of stuff.

good luck.

bob

Answer 4

I don't have one would like to be bossy or just be present? After the weekend and the room we spent the night in I find you to be very tame. But I wont tell anyone. Love, honey

Answer 5

You don't sound very lucky to me. You let him order you around and step all over you. Why don't you have any self-respect? Why can't you see that you deserve to be treated better than this? And you say that there is only one thing that bothers you? You really should go to counseling, oh, he probably won't let you. Well, I guess you can just keep on letting him push you around.

Answer 6

What is it you like about being mistreated? You realize that his crap is going to get awfully old if you stick with him, right? It doesn't matter one little tiny, teeny bit why he's bossy. The real question is can you stand being mistreated over time. If you can stand it and you like it, stay with him. If it bothers you, you'll need to let him know his days of being asinine and mistreating you are over.

Answer 7

Not a Bossy partner....its a controlling person...and they are bad people to be in relationship with.....lose him and find someone who will respect you for you....and be willing to compromise!

Answer 8

He has some personal issues, and controll issues. Maybe you can help him work though them, and maybe not. If he is treating you badly, though, you shouldn't stay in a relationship with him.

Answer 9

I would dump that guy. I never let anyone control me, and you shouldn't either. You're perfectly capable of doing things at your own discretion, and he shouldn't be allowed to tell you otherwise..

Answer 10

from what i understood, i can tell that your boyfriend is bossy because his roots (his family) are controlling too! I think you should dump him because obviously he doesn't care about your opinion or feelings i don't think he will ever change!!!