Basically i'm deployed overseas in Iraq. Some idiot asked my girlfriend to go to prom with him knowing she was with someone else. She had a kid early on and never got a lot of the high school experience but she kind of wants to go to Prom. Me and her are getting married when I get back, and to me I feel prom isn't just a little friend thing, it seems more of a "date". Especially since I don't even know this guy and she has never mentioned knowing him until now. She asked what I thought about her going and I said I wasn't comfortable with it. Am I right for feeling this way? Or am I worrying too much? She means everything to me and she's all i dream of out here. And she seems really pissed that I said no instead of letting her go. A couple of days ago too she told me she wasn't going to hang out with guys anymore because she though it wasn't right and we will move when I get back anyways so she won't really talk to them after that. Any advice? Please?
2007-01-14 11:52:32 · 15 answers · asked by Clay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thats a tough decision! :(
if i was in your shoes, i gez i would let her go
BUT i would tell her how i feel, about it seeming like a date!..and that youre not comfortable wit that idea at all. and in the end its her decision
2007-01-14 11:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ms.peREz?♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, that's tough man.
The best thing to do in this case is LET HER GO.
If you say, "no," how much power do you really have to prevent her from going?
Denying her that previlige will just make her want to hang out with other men EVEN MORE. It will also make you appear the dominating, possessive type (even though you aren't).
It's totally loaded against you. She should have been aware of where you are and the situation you are in... and yet all she cares about is going to the prom with some dude. It's totally insensitive to your feelings. If you say "no," you come across as a bad guy and she'll probably go anyway. If you say "yes," you're giving her permission to see this dude.
Yeah, I feel for you man. You are being level-headed by the whole thing and I think you're taking it cool when your girl asks to date another guy while your off getting shot at. IMO she don't deserve you.
But let her go. Say "yes," and it won't be such an appealing thing to her as much.
2007-01-14 20:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by Mister Bingley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let her go to the prom as if you dont she will resent you for it for ever. If she cannot be trusted then it is much better for you to find out before you marry her than after. She could have just gone to the prom without telling you but chose to see what you thought about it. So it all comes down to trust and as to whether you trust her or not. My daughter made her debut her in Australia two years ago and she went with a boy that she hardly knew. Just because he partnered her didnt mean she was obligated to a relationship of any form. She had a great time and looked wonderful. i wouldnt take that experience away from her for anything.
2007-01-14 19:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by auburn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the fact that she asked for your opinion means that she wanted you to know, which I applaud her for...but at the same time if she really wants a high school experience, why can't she go to prom without a date? Does that make it any less special if she goes with her friends? You should feel jealous. Why should she want to spend such a special night with anyone else but you? If you trust her completely than I would let her go. But all the feelings you're feeling are justified and natural. With whatever you decide good luck babe! I wish you two the best of luck.
2007-01-14 20:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it should be ok for her to go to prom, but not with another guy. There has to be some kind of respect for the relationship that you have with her! It would be ok for her to got o prom wiht a guy you know, maybe a mutual friend or someone you trust, but just any random guy, because that is considered a date (at least in my book). Maybe she can go with a bunch of girlfriends that are going to prom with out dates. They can have a driver take her and her friends to the prom, and they can have fun together, without necessarily having a date. I hope this helps some.
2007-01-14 20:01:32 · answer #5 · answered by Yessi H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go, it is in the best interest of your relationship. She probably already feels like she has missed out alot in the h.s. experience because of having a child and keeping this away from her like this will only make her more distant from you in the future. Just ask her to make sure this "date" KNOWS that she is engaged (?) and not to make a big deal out of Prom - just going as friends. And if he's not ok with that then no date. She should then just go by herself or with a couple other girls that may not have dates! Don't need a date to have fun at prom. My date one year sucked!! But i still had fun because of all my friends there.
2007-01-14 20:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know whats its like to really care about somebody that much so I understand why you want her to yourself. I have the same problem with letting somebody I care about go over to a friends house and surround themselves with nothing but guys. It drives me nuts. Yeah there is a bit of jealousy but I dont want to be controlling because thats not the way to do. Sure I dont feel comfortable with her hanging around nothing but guys, but what kind of person would I be if I was restricting her. Yeah I want to know that I mean more to her anybody else and I trust her. As for your situation if she has already agreed to marring you then you have everything. So let her go out and have one night of fun with her friends, you cant stress about stuff like that. Look at the bigger picture she is yours because she said yes. A relationship is about trust and marriage is defintely about trust. Live life with no regrets. Relax if she really cares about you the way she says she does, then one night of dancing isnt going to change that.
2007-01-14 20:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah if I were you I would be worried you are thousands of miles away and she knows she can do whatever she wants because you wont be showing up at the door. as for her wanting to go to prom how old is she? doesnt she think that's a bit rediculous to go with another guy when you say you two are getting married? sound a bit weird to me but i can tell you a guy named justin ended up cutting his deployment to turkey short because his wife of 8 years was actually cheating on him. If you think it's more than just a friendly thing it probly is.
2007-01-14 20:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of a had to have been there situation...
On the one hand, she might be totally committed to you, and this guy she wants to go with could just be a friend.
On the other hand, she might be wanting to cheat on you with this other...considering the fact that she has never mentioned him.
I think she should respect the fact that you aren't comfortable with it, but then again, it is PROM.
2007-01-14 19:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by Greg S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the way I look at it she did tell you. If she were trying to hide something she would just go and never tell you. trust is a BIG thing in a relationship. Tell her you have thought about it and you know she loves you and would never hurt you. Then tell her to go and have fun. Tell her you will be with her in spirit. Tell her how important she is to you and that you will be with her soon and that you will have your own special dance.
2007-01-14 19:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by justcurious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go to prom. It may be uncomfortable with you, but let her have this experience. I am going to prom with my friend... it can be just a friend thing
2007-01-14 19:57:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋