Was I wrong?

Question

I have dealing with my son's father for 11 years now off and on. During these years, he has been hitting me, giving me swolen lips and all, but I never called the police. January 6 of this years he hit me again. I got him arrested even though he just started his probation. If he got into anymore trouble during his probation, he will do his 3 year sentence. I just want to show him that enough is enough and that I can't take the beatings anymore. I really love him and I don't want him to do anytime in jail that long. Was I wrong for getting him locked up?

Answer 1

Nope.
That was the right thing to do.
Good Luck

Answer 2

No, you were not wrong. No one deservses to be hit - NO matter what. It is very hard for a woman in your position because it is very hard for others around you to understand how you can still love him. But I assure you, you must do everything in your power to get some help - find a support group, find a supportive friend who will not let you down, don't be afraid to let others know. He will make you feel guilty and I would feel guilty having to do that. In many states, it doesnt matter what you say, the state will pick up the charge anyways. However, despite the guilt you might feel, you need to rememer that you have a child to take care of, and your son does not deserve this. This man will hurt you and will probably kill you if you stay. I know, I took abuse for over a year. at the end of the relationship I was getting beat up every day. No one would help me, everyone was sick of our problem and especially of me going back. This is not love....I promise you that....as much as you want it to be....it is not. And you have to realize that you deserve so much more....There is no future in this. Find some support, churches, groups - reach out and you can find some help. If at first you don't, keep looking. In resolving my drug problem, i now find there was help all along, the challenge was in finding it. You will be in my prayers, even though I don't know you. Be strong.

Answer 3

People like that deserve a lesson such as the one you showed him, by having him arrested. You seem like a very caring person and you will do best partying ways with this guy, because very rarely individuals like him, with this type of problem behavior change. It would require extensive therapy dealing with anger management. You also would benefit form counseling, because no one should endure amy beatings, nor any other type of physical, nor emotional,nor psychological abuse. The fact that you have been willing to put up with it shows your being codependent of his violent behavior. First and foremost you must learn to love yourself and have others learn to respect you, because it is obvious that at present your self esteem, is very low.

You did what you had to do. He knew that acting in such violent manner, would violate his parole. Let him bear the consequences, you have suffered enough.

Answer 4

Now, I think he did alot more wrong to you. You should watch more of those lifetime tv shows. Women fall in love with men even though they beat them. You shouldn't let it get to you... Have you thought about if you did anything to make him angry? If he hits you frequently, then it has become a habit and has lost his respect for you. Wait a while longer, and if he still abuses you, then I suggest that you should leave him and it will make him realize that what he had done to you was undoubtfully wrong. You are quite strong and must be very much in love if you had dealt with this for that long. But have you thought about if HE is in love with you as you are with him?

Answer 5

well no i dont think your wrong. he knew it also. thats what he gets. i know how you feel about him not doing that much time cuz you love him. know wut ive been through your situation also. its hard really hard. does it make you wonder why you keep going back to him after the pain he has given too you? well i couldnt figure it out either. i guess we keep hoping that he'll change huh? doesnt happen until there is a really bad wake up call on him. you have a child unlike me. you need to break away from him your child doesnt need to see it. the way i got over him is when he beat me so bad i couldnt look at my face i looked like a monster. i talked to friends and they helped me alot. ill never let any man hit me again and go back to himl. good luck and he really deserves it. maybe thats his wake up call sitting there in jail that long will make him think.

Answer 6

No, and congratulations for being a strong woman and demanding the respect you've been living without. You are not only doing yourself the hugest favor (especially if there are kids involved) but you are saving your husband. He needs help and so do you. Now, he will get the punishment he deserves for the crime he committed and help with the anger issue he carries with him. You, while he is away, can get help for yourself and who knows, it all may turn out to be your fairy tale marriage. If not, you will both be better for it. Doing the right thing isn't always easy, but it's the right thing to do! I'm proud of YOU!

Answer 7

just stay away from him, other than child support. He'll do about 12 months . Stay away from him and get a new life. I was beat for 23 years. Every time I wouldn't call the police on him. One time i did and he said i was no good for calling the police on him. It was like what he did to me was OK, but how dare I call the police on him.. He pulled gun's on me, beat me with a gun, broke my bones, scared me up. When he beat me he would tell me nothing belonged to me everything was his. He brain washed me, I once looked beautiful, now I'm all beat up. One day that I finally called the police on him he ran away, the police took me to a protective home for abused women. I never went back to him, my kid's were grown then. So I had nothing. But i had my life. I have not been beaten since 1986. I was at my daughters home cooking chicken and dressing two years ago, My x came there un- invited, he started an argument with me, i stood up for myself, and he hit me, I grabbed a crock pot and put 28 stitches in his head. He was in shock, because i would have never fought him back years ago. He won't ever put his hands on me again. Don't u feel bad about his sentence. He got just what he deserves. He should keep his hands to himself. My X would find me and buy me diamonds, and beg me to come back to him. I would never ever go back to that living hell. He beat me like Ike beat Tina. Save yourself the misery. He is a coward if he hit you.

Answer 8

No, of course you weren't wrong. When you don't take action when he hits you you encourage his behaviour. You can't live your life like that. He deserves that 3 year sentence and more, but forgiveness is more powerful then bitterness and i admire that in you. But you need to lay down the line; he hits you, he goes to prison. It's not right.

Answer 9

No you are not wrong for getting him locked up. He deserves it. Any man that would hit a woman, much less the mother of his child needs to go to jail!

Answer 10

If he is abusing you, this is wrong. You did the right thing, even if you love him. If you really loved him (apparently you do) you would have (which you did) locked him up so he couldn't possibly hurt you or your the other people you love (your son) ever.

Answer 11

Don't think of yourself as a valuable human worthy of more.
Don't think of your precious son being influenced by this dog called dad and mimicking dad's dysfunction (OUCH!).
Think of the next woman who's gonna' get mixed up with him, when he's more angry than ever over the misery he won't believe he brought upon himself. Save her.