I told my babes dad he needs to reorganize what he spends his money on.....boy not a good idea need some advic

Question

right my so calle baby's dad lives in london in my which i got off the council HE pays the rent and everything...As i wanted to move away and make something of myself for me and my son...i rung him to tell him about nursey costs...
he said to me i have to pay £50 a month for this EXSPENSIVE carpet anyways
he said to me he will give me what he can when he can....and that my son live with me he my responsabitlty and it nothing do with him what should i do with a father like this...i mean his little money not worth the stress it brings in my house
want know the funny thing he conviemced me by him a 150 cooker saying he need something to cook on when he has my son....i really dont know what to do with guy but he dont deserve his son i know that

you know what i don't normally use this language but some of you can f~** off...This is a question not a life story not a good mother...i have a good job i work 4 social service I do everything for my son and love him dearly. just because i came on here upset typying fast and didnt do a spell check...that gives you the right to slate me. you dont even know the whole story the thing with cooker was to show how soft i am saying how he doesnt help out at all and i am stupid enough to buy him a cooker..
how am i a unfit parent by this question i dont understand i think some of you are shallow and dont have much of a life and get a kick out of just being nasty to people in their questions...i really dont understand that at all...you would come tell someone they arent a good parent because the DAD does not want to help support his child and i feel trapped and asked for advice...you know what i will keep loving my son and working hard to look after him small minded people dont bother me

xxx xxx b your an as* gosh bedroom furniture what you talking about...nursery as in school cost for this term is what i was talking about....me spending money unwisely..no as what happened was my son went to live with him for a month till i sorted out nursey.preschool and etc...he said i dont have a cooker buy me one so i can cook for him...i said ok obviously...then i found out he used his money for a cooker to take his girlfriend on a shopping spend in london...he doesnt pay money or child support so if you dont know someone or there situation dont come in a clearly upsetting situation running the odds and you dont know facts or the fact that we in the uk and nursey cost is not bedroom furniture.....

Answer 1

Dont listen to the bad comments they are only trying to get more points! It sounds like you are going through a very hard time at the moment as well, just remember how far you have came. You left him and went on to a better life for you and your son! Just shows you how strong you are! If i were you i would stop buying things for this man i know its hard as your only looking out for your child as you want to make sure he is fed when he is with his father. If he ask for money again dont give him it!! Why should you! If this man refuses to help bring up his son and says its your responsibilities then i would get on to social service and they will deduct money from his wage for you. Be strong dont help him if he wont help you!! Remember he only has a roof over his head because of you.

Answer 2

This questions is really a mess. It is all over the place, has plenty of words that are not spelled correctly and is VERY hard to follow.
I am guessing what you meant was that you asked this guy to pay for your child's bedroom items and he said he would pay what he could. WHat is wrong with that?
I dont know how much the bedroom items were but why should he have to reorganize his finances because you decided you want to decorate?
Sounds like you are the one with the problem, if you hand not purchased a DOG from him maybe you could have used THAT money to buy bedroom furniture. How come when you spend money unwisely it is no big deal and when he does he needs to re evaluate how he spends HIS money.
If he pays his son's child support, how dare you say that he does not deserve to be a part of your son's life?
I feel very sorry for your son!
Please do not continue to use him to upset his dad, as the day will come and this will backfire on you!

Please go back to school and make a better life for you and your child.

Answer 3

Listen sweetheart there's no point getting angry with people who want to clock up their points.

If you are "able" continute to do the able thing. I think you should avoid the legal system as the only winner are the lawyer/solicitors etc. If you are/ have been providing for your child, lose the father's phone number and do what you need to do as a mother. Its hard enough living day-to-day to make a life for both yourself and the little one with the stress of some irresponsible "sperm donor". Get on you bike and cycle, just remember its not tandem until someone else buys you a new bike and helps you pedal it. Also if it ain't your child you have no business supporting them (i.e. the cooker)

Good luck and well done so far.

Answer 4

ok whether you and he like it or not he is your baby's father. i have been in situations where difficulty has arisen with my son and his dad. i gave him the option of basicaly, take responsibility for him or forget him. i woud never want to stop him from seeing our child. we are now back together but through the rough patch i organised with him set days on which he saw our son. he had to stick to these or give me notice if he couldn't make it. then on the days that weren't set i told him that if he wanted to see him to give me a ring and if it was possible he could. we also made arrangements for financial help but to be honest my main worry was their bond. he did help with the money and used to give it to me each week. the deal was that if he defaulted with the visits or money we would go to court. i wanted to avoid this for our childs sake. i'm happy to say that once it wa all set out everything was fine. as for your nursry fees you should be entitled to help. phone the tax credits line. as long as you work 16 or more hours a week thy can help. Good Luck to you and please try and remember to try and be calm. for the baby. i know how hard it can be but you will get through it! xxxxxxx

Answer 5

Too bad you did not think of all of this before you had a child with him.
Sell your cooker on ebay and move back in with him. You two deserve each other

p.s. put the kid up for adoption

Answer 6

if you do not want to be insulted then do not blab your life problems in yahoo answers cause somewhere along the line you are going to be insulted. Deal with it ...what happened to getting a grant and doing yourself ? i mean true it beats the aim of the game but im sure if you are working you are still entitled by the job center for a grant for nursary costs look into it

Answer 7

SO the guy can't afford to pay for a baby bed and now he does not deserve to be his father.
HE DOESNT DESERVE A MOTHER LIKE YOU!
women kill me with this crap.
I agree with the other poster who stated that you would be better served going back to school, your grammar his horrible!

Answer 8

USA here so I am not sure how much L50 is but is it less than the 150 oven?
Neither one of you sound like fit parents

Answer 9

take him to court and get more money for your son!