Russian father sat me down for talk what should i do?

Question

My girlfriend of 10 months' Russian father sat me down the other day for a talk. I was sort of blindsided when he asked me what my plans were for having children and the future with his daughter. He said he thought it would be good for us to move in together close to their house so they could take care of the grandkids (which we dont have) and baby sit down the road. I do live 45 minutes away and she lives with her family still . She is 27 im 35. Thats just a small part of the conversation but i think you get the drift. It was pretty funny and was like something out of a "meet the parents Russian version movie. ANy comments is this normal in Russian families, this"talk"?

Answer 1

don't know
do you like your in-laws

Answer 2

Yup.. not at all uncommon. At her age, I am surprised that the father didn't bring a priest with him. Many cultures see 27 as an age where she should have had several children by now. But, you have been dating for 10 months. You may not be ready to get married, let alone have children. You didn't say what your response was but I can only imagine.
You and your girl friend should discuss living together and where you will live. This is the first and biggest step she will take toward independence. There is a reason she is 27 and still living at home. You both need to set the parents straight on where you will be living and do not let them run your lives. give them a chance and they will. Good luck.

Answer 3

It could mean that he is concerned for his daughter's welfare. Imagine that! But by taking the time to even consider you a potential husband for his daughter he must think fairly well of you.

Seriously, Russian or not, some fathers are considered "old fashioned" and want to know what plans are so their daughters are not hurt or wasting time on someone that is not really husband/father material. Rent the movie "Fiddler On The Roof" and you will see some old-style Russian parenting.

I would not want to live too close to my in-laws or parents. The story lines from Everybody Loves Raymond come true more often than you'd think.

Answer 4

I don't think that you got the russian father talk, you got the father talk. He might of been trying to scare you away or just see what you're made of. If you and this girl are serious (talk to her about it) and see what she thinks. It's not just your plan and let the father know that. You've only been together for 10 months. That's almost enough time to fall in love. You need a little longer, like a year to know if it will last.

Answer 5

A friend of mine, a tall German from Bavaria told me the following story:

A male friend of his visited a Russian friend who suggested they find a little something to eat. They went into the kitchen. The Russian guy, who was named Boris (for this story .. I forgot his name) put on the table a plate and a glass. He then reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a new bottle of vodka , opened it and put it onto a plate. He put it in front of his guest and said (in deep voice): "Now vee see vot kind man you aarr!"

See, Russians are ....different! They are a little ruff, a little gruff, and they want what they want!
Your friends father just wanted you to make an honest woman of his daughter. DO be good!
You will be verrrrry sorry if not!!!!

Answer 6

This is completely normal with Russian families. Your girlfriend's parents are just worried about their daughter and her future. Don't worry about the conversation with her father. Russian families are very close-knit and love to be in each other's business.

Answer 7

He is meddling in his daughter's business like all parents do. It's not just a "Russian" thing. Most likely his wife has been putting pressure on him to put pressure on his daughter to find a nice man and settle down for almost 7 years now.

I thought this was really strange until I saw your ages. Yeah, you guys are definitely of the socially-accepted "marrying age". I'm not going to presume to know just how your relationship is, but from the outside it looks like you guys should be thinking about marriage.

Answer 8

Just be glad he didn't have a shot gun while he was talking to you!!
But honestly he probably want to get his daughter married off.
Of course there may be some immigration issues and if his daughter is not a citizen of this country then perhaps by hooking the two of you up will keep his daughter here. Also, he might be very protective of his daughter and want to make sure you are just not in it for the short term gains.

Answer 9

I'd say in most countries not speaking English it is proper and should be addressed as such. 27 is not a good child bearing start .,In most Third world systems Medic's are not as handy as in USA and hard lives leave many orphans to find Grand parents/Kin to live with. He is only looking out for his unborn GC and his Loving Daughter who has helped them in their lives also. He needs to know how to plan his life around Your Agendas and her living arangements. Respect his wishes and hers too. Commit or get off the commode.
If his American language skills are still thought in Russain and transfered into Eng/european style then it sounds more cut to the bone than if he were a preacher in the pulpit beating around the matrimonial bush.

Answer 10

Yes, its common. after dating the daughter for 10 months you are seen as a seroius suitor. Which means that you intend on being family.
My suggestion - start thinking about if you are going to Sh*t or get off the pot - talk about it openly with the woman your dating. She will have insights into the situation that you cant forsee.
Good Luck

Answer 11

Sounds to me like he's just being a normal dad who is looking after his daughter's best interests!