I'm 25 years old and I want to have a kid VERY badly. I've wanted a kid for a couple of years now. My fiance (understandably) wants to wait until we get married before we start to have kids. I am seriously concidering looking into adopting (which she has no problems with... she just doesn't want to pop any kids out before we're married). How do I go about adopting a child (not necessarly a baby) as a single person? Is it possible for a single guy to adopt a child?
2007-01-14 08:50:09 · 18 answers · asked by Zachary 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We're going to get married in March of 2009. She said that she wants to wait at least 6 months after the wedding before she stops taking her birth control. I've already expressed my desire to have a child sooner, but again, she wants to wait.
2007-01-14 09:11:28 · update #1
Yes a single man can adopt a baby or older child. It can take a little while and its alot of hard work, alot of papers to fill out, homestudies, etc...and you may end up getting married before you every get the child, but that is all ok. You sound like a great guy and will make a great dad
2007-01-14 08:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by Blondi 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think that is great that you want to adopt but why are you in such a hurry? You are still young and children are a huge responsibliity. It is better to raise a child with a commited mother and father. If you go ahead and do it before you get married she may feel like the child is more yours and it may drive the two of you apart. She is smart in wanting to wait after you get married to have kids. Marriage is hard enough why not spend sometime just the two of you before adding a child into the picture. Remember you have your who life after kids to be a parent you have very few carefree years when you can be selfish and travel and just enjoy time together as a couple. I really suggest you wait until you get married and give it at least a year and then either adopt togeher or have your own child.
2007-01-14 17:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if at all possible you should raise a child in a two-parent home. I say that because some people don't have that option and it appears as if you do. It's great that you want to be a father but wait until you are married. I'm not sure you will have much luck adopting a child being single and at your age. It is possible for single men to adopt but I think most people have priority over you. It sounds as if your fiance wants kids, by having them herself or by adopting once your married. When you get married you can do both.
I think being a foster parent is a great idea. If you have a child in your care and they become eligible for adoption. You'll be at the top of list.
2007-01-14 17:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by Ndpndnt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about adoptions, but I do know that both people in the relationship should want the child before they have one. I waited more than 5 years for my husband to be "ready" for children before we had one. I felt that forcing the issue would not be helpful and would not lead to him being the best father. I'm glad I waited until he felt he was ready. We have a beautiful son now.
Does your girlfriend want to adopt with you? If you adopt alone, she may change her mind about marrying you... Are you prepared to be a single father? Are you sure your girlfriend really wants kids at all in the future, or is she saying she does so she won't lose you? I'd have a serious talk with her before you do anything.
2007-01-14 18:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by crazyjmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this.... If you know she feels so strongly about waiting, and yet you go ahead and adopt 'as a single person,' do you think she will still be your fiance when it's all said and done?
Does she desire kids as strongly as you do? Why the desire to wait so long? Can you elope or move your marriage date up to speed things along?
2007-01-14 18:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know when you're getting married, but the adoption process takes a long time. And it's VERY expensive, about $10,000. By the way, are you getting married because you love her, or because you just want a child? Remember, if you go behind her back and adopt a child, you may very well lose her too.
2007-01-14 16:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by shorty_7123 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say just marry her quickly and then start your family..the sooner u marry the sooner u will have your own little bean...There are plenty of beautiful weddings that are very enexpensive if money is an issue..If u wanna have babys with this woman then there should be nothing stopping u from marrying her soon right? Good Luck..
2007-01-14 16:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hello Zachary! It seems to me that you're not reading your fiancee right. You've been so eager to have babies but you're not considering your fiancee at all. She's been telling you something but you're not listening at all. What seems to be the problem? She was telling you that she wanted her own baby with you but first of all you have to marry her first. She wanted a baby inside of a wedlock. Is it that hard to do? Since you were so eager and so ready for a baby and your fiancee too, then marry her. This way the fruit of your love nest is one great satisfaction on both of you. Good luck.
2007-01-14 17:17:10 · answer #8 · answered by egan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you get married first. And then have kids once you're married. Adopting children can take way longer than the 9 months it takes for a child of your own!
2007-01-14 16:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by Bello Stella 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not really - they'll tell you to get married and pop out your own.
Have you considered being a volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters? They would love to have some people that like mentoring kids.
2007-01-14 16:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋