Am I being too picky??

Question

My mom says i"m too picky when I look for a guy to date. everyone has standards mine are:

1) has a job, preferably full time, and makes more than me(above $30,000/yr)
2) has a car
3) has his own place (apartment, house, roommates ok)
4) enjoys the outdoors
5) taller than me (not hard i'm 5'4")
6) likes to travel

I dont think I'm being picky, I'm 26 and I have all the above so why cant I find a guy that has all this and more? and why does my mom think I'm picky??

I personally make $30,000/yr, so I'm not looking for a man to buy me everything, but I am not looking to support a guy either.

I want a caring, respectful, honest man, but as fundimentals, going into a "relationship" I want to know what he has to offer, I dont want to support a guy, been there, done that and I want a real man that can "bring home the bacon" if I were to get pregnant and not be able to work

Answer 1

You're definately not being too picky because would you rather go out with somebody who's:
1) un-employed
2) doesn't have a car
3) lives with his mother
4) only likes the indoors
5) shorter than 5'4
6) hates travelling

I think it's actually easier for you to find somebody who has the qualities you're looking for than somebody who doesn't lol.

Answer 2

When I was younger would have thought you were but eventually I came to pretty much the same list. I added non-smoker, and no or few drugs to that list. The last thing I wanted to do is date yet another pothead. That gets old fast. You are not too picky. However, you might need to look at slightly older men. My husband is 9 years older than I am. A lot of men at age 26 just aren't in the same spot you are. As I got older I revised the list to include, must own his own place. Once you get out of school it gets harder and harder to meet people. To meet a guy you should stay active - take classes, enjoy sports, etc. and maybe consider online dating. I never used online dating but I was just starting to consider it when I met my husband. He had been dating off the internet with decent results for years. He met nice people but he met me through a mutual friend. That is always the best way to meet. Don't let your mom get to you. She just wants to see you happily married so she can have grandkids. My mom finally gave up on grandkids but my parents were still thrilled that I finally found someone right for me. I've heard divorce sucks and never saw any reason to rush into something I wasn't really sure of.

Answer 3

Stick to your standards--you have set your sights on a nice guy and hopefully you will meet him. There is no time limit, the wait will be worth it. Your mom should be glad you're not dragging home some of the losers on this site--did she ever read these questions??? Seriously, I want you to stay the course and enjoy the search--it's fun and exciting to meet new people..just be careful. Do not fall for a scam artist--give a future ideal man plenty of time ----really check him out. Don't be too sure in the beginning--plenty of liars and scammers out there. Please keep the dignity and respect that you show for yourself---no need to change for mom or anyone else. Just avoid the conversations and thank her for the suggestion. Now that's a way a nice lady would handle it. Good luck and have a really nice life

Answer 4

That's not being picky... those are standards and I don't think that you're being picky if you bring the same to the table.

Don't look for a guy with a job, car, and own place if you don't have all of the above.

Enjoys the outdoors, taller than you, and likes to travel are preferences. If you fall in love with a man who hates being outside you'll be able to get over it

Answer 5

Sour Grapes Maybe?? I wonder if your mom is close or is more competitive within your relationship, mom & daughter. You seem to know almost everything that is vitally important to a good future and you know what's going to make it work. Don't let her pull you down or hold you back. Maybe your mom should have been as "picky" or as careful in planning for success as you are. I think she's jealous of you and that's very common. Sorry!! P.S. How much money you each make VERY MUCH MATTERS in the ego world. Also in your style of living and your freedom to travel. MONEY MATTERS!! You know that. There are lots of men out there just like you describe!! I KNOW!! Good Luck!! @8-)

Answer 6

Well, it's always good to compromise. Some guys have the potential to do these things, but maybe are just not quite there yet. You need to be flexible. What if there was an awesome guy who met all of these except he was an inch or two shorter? That would seem shallow to drop him.

Answer 7

Have you ever thought on how many perfectly good guys you are missing out on who doesn't meet the above criteria? Not only that, but what about "caring", "who likes to laugh" etc on your list? Yes, I think you are too picky. Expand your horizons and start seeing guys for who they are, not what they do.

Answer 8

Nobody is perfect. You're going to have lousy success if you can't comprimise on a few of these things. Being in a relationship is partly about discovering new things about yourself, you'll be suprised at what people will settle with, when in love. Good luck.

Answer 9

Do you mind being single or are you desperate to be with someone. If you dont mind then I say hell yeah stick to your standards. He is out there somewhere and it will happen. I believe its better to find what you want then to settle for what you can get. Good Luck. Just ask ur mom would you want less for me?

Answer 10

I don't think that the things that are important to you are shallow. There are a couple of things that may be flexible like the outdoors thing or the travel thing. Those are things that can be substituted with other things that you both enjoy. My list is a lot longer than that LOL.