My fiance and I want an adults only reception. Problem is we are having kids in the wedding who are coming to the reception. How do we tell our guests that we only want adults at the wedding without sounding like hippocrates?
2007-01-14 08:31:19 · 15 answers · asked by misplay22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should not print "no children" or "adults only" on an invitation. The way your invitations are addressed indicates who is and who is not (by omission) invited to the wedding.
Or
Inside the outer envelope of your invitation be sure to include an inner envelope with only your invited guests' names on it. You may also want to enclose a handwritten note to relatives and friends explaining that as much as you would love to invite their children, you simply cannot do so because of space or cost limitations. If you wish, mention that children will be most welcome to attend the ceremony. It's best to make certain, well before your wedding day, that all of your guests understand and will comply with your wishes.
2007-01-14 08:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had the same problem when my son got married many years ago and this is how I see it. The children in the wedding are a different story, they should be at the reception unless the parents of the children want them to be home after the wedding. As far as the invitation goes, I would put down, "Adult Reception". The people that can't understand this are usually the kind that want to bring most of their family without any consideration for the cost to the family of the bride & groom. I say that if they get insulted, that's their problem. When an envelope is addressed to only 2 people, then they shouldn't expect to be able to bring anyone else to the receiption and that includes children.
2007-01-14 17:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by Faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a warning - you may lose out on guests if it is an adult only reception. Usually a wedding is a family thing, a lot of family members go, so, family members who usually babysit will not beable to babysit, making it difficult for some guest to find a sitter to attend. Plus, the guests are going to have to drive to wedding, drive children to sitter, then drive back to reception, drive to sitter, than drive back home - it may be a lot of hassle. It's not necessarily a bad idea, some people may prefer to take their children to a sitter, but it may be difficult for others.
Send out two separate wedding invitations. One for the wedding which will include the whole family. One for the reception which can say adults only - be sure to specify - do you mean 18 & older or 21 & older? (I'm not sure if the adults only thing is due to alcohol being served or not.) To help specify this you could have Mr. & Mrs. Smith & family on the wedding invite & just Mr. & Mrs. Smith on the reception invite.
2007-01-14 16:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids are limited to those in the wedding party, and you might want to extend an invite to children of immediate family members who are going to travel to be at the wedding. You don't have to explain anything to anyone, it's your wedding! I would still make sure you have a special table or something for the kids at the reception, some places will even have a separate room for the kids, with activities, kid friendly menu, etc. My brother's getting married in March, and they'll have a separate room for my kids and the other 9 neices and nephews of ours!! It's the first wedding reception where I've had to take my kids to that I'm actually looking forward to, because I won't have to be constantly correcting their behavior!
2007-01-14 16:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When sending out the invites, when telling them it is FORMAL and have it addressed to only those invited have a reply insert. They have to reply back and when they do it is up to the person that is taking the replies in to review each invite recieved and on a list have there contact number incase they include junior. That person calls them to inform them it is a formal reception and only those of drinking age is allowed due to licensing of the place you are having at the reception. That way you are off the hook as not wanting kids at the wedding. For those in the wedding party arrangements can be made for a babysitter to watch them in advance so that they will be watched and not a burden on others to enjoy themselves...say a teenager that you know that can watch them and just have a place to sit with them until the day is done.
2007-01-14 16:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Baby_Doll_f 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fiance and I ordered out wedding invitations last month. After the address of the reception location we had them print: "Adults Only Please". We are having a sit down meal, and really do not want children at our reception. My take on it is, it's your day, and it's your decision, and any one who has a problem with it, doesn't need to come. They should respect your wishes, because the day is about you and your fiance, not them and their children. Plus, I saw numerous invitations, in the invitation books, that had "Adults Only" printed on the invites.
2007-01-14 17:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We choose to only include children in our immediate family as guests. In our wedding newsletter we mentioned that due to the atmosphere of our location we ask that guests refrain from attending the wedding with their children, with exception to those of our immediate families, but we didn't not include "adult reception" on our invitation and response cards. We simply invited all guests, regardless of age, who we chose to include. The name of each guest invited was included on the invitation. As we received responses with any guest that was not on the invitation, regardless if they were a child or an adult, we simply notified the guests that unfortunately we are not able to accommodate any additional guests. For the most part, no one had a problem with that. But no matter what you do, there is always someone who isn't happy with whatever decision you make. Just remember, your wedding should reflect you and your fiance's wishes. You have no reason to feel hypocritical.
2007-01-14 16:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, the only guests that are suppose to come to the wedding are the ones that have their names on the invitation. If their children were invited then the invitation would read "...and family". However, I had this problem where my guests just assumed that their kids were invited even though I wrote "To Mr. and Mrs. XYZ" on their invitations. I have seen invitations where they printed "reception is for adults only" on the bottom. I think you could put on yours: "Reception for adults and wedding party only" on the bottom. Some etiquette experts may disagree but I would not think it rude.
2007-01-14 16:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Signilda 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the etiquette savvy, which sadly is not most people, the way the invitation is addressed should resolve this issue. However, most will not know that. My advice....rely on mouthy, yet trustworthy relatives and friends to pass the word. To go one step further state "Adult Reception to follow". I had the same issue when I got married and what we did was arrange for childcare at the reception and kid friendly entertainment...crafts, magician, etc.
2007-01-14 17:12:49 · answer #9 · answered by texasgirl31 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really have it both ways. Either the kids in the wedding can't come, or everyone's kids can come. People will NOT understand if you allow some kids and not others.
Trust me, I wish you could have it both ways. There are definitely some kids I would like to not invite while inviting others. But, you need to decide yes or no 100% here, unfortunately.
2007-01-14 19:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋