I recently got engaged on October 13th. My fiancee and I were planning our wedding for next year July 19th 2008. We went to look at reception halls, I've told everyone about the wedding and everything. But we havent booked a place as yet. However, I just found out a couple days ago that I am pregnant. I am so depressed. We thought we were being careful. I do want to be a mom, but I wanted to be married first before. My mom is also very religious and was just settling to the fact that I was going to marry someone not in my faith, now a baby!! The baby would be due in October 2007, and the wedding would then be 9 months after that. What would you do in this situation. I am happy but scared at the same time.
2007-01-14 08:03:01 · 28 answers · asked by Life Goes On 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can do a civil ceremony now and then a huge wedding later for everyone else. You will have the same amount of time to plan it, and your mom will have to understand that you wanted to be married before the birth of your child.
I personally though wouldnt change the date of my wedding. As hard as you tried to not become a mom before you got married it happened, and there isnt anything you can do about it now. I would go through the pregnancy, love and experience it all. Then i would worry about the wedding. Your child would be loved irregardless by you and your fiance, and his mom will come around too, even if the whole baby thing may throw her off.
Congratulations on both!!!
2007-01-14 09:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can't get married now and have big wedding a year and a half from now! There has to be only ONE wedding!
It's too bad you got pregnant now, but it's happened, so make the best of the situation. Women getting married in a white dress after a baby has been born looks ridiculous!
Get married now. Tell everyone you just decided not to wait. Have a small wedding for family and close friends. You don't have to give big explanations. A small wedding can be planned quickly. If you want a bigger wedding, have the reception in the church social room or basement or wherever they have for these things. And serve coffee, punch and cake if you can't afford anything else.
Your mom may be hurt, but she will get over it! The main thing is that you and your fiance love each other. You need to do what is best for you. Talk to your honey and see what he thinks. You don't need a lot of stress now.
Good luck!
2007-01-14 22:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! Being a mom is a honor. Go on with the wedding as planned. You are going to have a child the only thing that is going to be different is you will need someone to watch your baby during the wedding. if you really want to be married first and still ant to have a big wedding go to the court house get married and have the wedding after the baby is born. Or you can do a rush wedding plan for next month and have the ceremony then. What ever you do follow your and what feels best to you.
2007-01-14 08:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by JANET 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow what a conundrum...
I can see how your mom would be upset about being unevenly yoked. However, a baby no matter how he/she came about in the world is a blessing, and a joy. Tell your mother now, she'll be even more upset that you didn't tell her if she finds out because your showing. Be honest with her, sure she'll be upset, but once the baby comes she'll be overjoyed. This happened to my brother. My mom was sooo opposed but once the baby came she couldn't get enough of her. I suggest you two marry via courtroom, and up the reception date celebration within your first 3 - 4 months of pregnancy so your not showing too much for your pictures, as I'm sure you want to be in a wedding dress. Congratulations on the new bundle of joy! As far as regrets go, sometimes you Live and Learn the hard way. Perhaps abstinence would have been best, since you did have a wedding date planned. Too late for what ifs....
2007-01-15 04:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple different ways to look at this. Firstly and most importantly, you need to do what is best for you and your soon to be husband. In other words, don't plan your wedding around what your mom wants. My wife and I have been married for a little over a year now and we did what her mom wanted, (she is VERY religious.....Catholic) and my wife still wishes to this day that we would've done it OUR way. So having said that, how religious are you? Are YOU okay with having a baby before wedlock or would you rather get married as soon as possible. The way I see it, you love your fiance and will be with him forever, so what does it matter which comes first? If you decide to wait, then you can have the wedding you've always dreamed of and your mom will just have to understand. True that will be a very hard discussion/fight with her, but she is your mom and she will eventually understand. If you decide to do what's right in the Church's eyes, then your mom will be happy and you will miss out on the "perfect" wedding. Which is more important to you and your man.....not your mom? Good luck
2007-01-14 08:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I do not see any shame in having a child out of wed lock, this is not the dark ages after all. But if you really do wish to be married first, you only have two options:
1. You don't keep this child, and carry on with your wedding plans for 2008
OR
2. You bring the wedding date forward to this year, and marry before the baby is born.
Personally I would bring the date forward.
2007-01-15 03:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you'd postpone it. Move it up if it's important for you to be married before the baby. You could get married in the next 2-3 months & still not be showing much, depending on what you're wearing. But if this isn't important to you wait until what you had planned before, July of 08. No matter what your mom is going to know this baby was created out of wedlock, so you might as well tell her now, see how the reactions are, then you & your fiance' talk about what you'd rather do.
2007-01-14 08:23:19 · answer #7 · answered by layla983 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. This, unfortunately, is becoming an all-too-common situation. I am glad to hear you are happy about the pregnancy! Just totally change your plans; don't worry a whit about what people will think or say. It's time to have a small family wedding, the sooner the better. People will understand, and you will feel better knowing you have done the right thing for your baby, to give him or her a proper family.
On the brighter side, girl, you were planning your wedding WAY too far away anyways! Be happy, you need to be for the sweet baby you are incubating! Change of plans doesn't mean you can't be happy - you still will have your guy and your family, and now a little combo to love!
2007-01-14 08:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please,whatever you decide,"KEEP YOUR MOTHER OUT OF IT". Your fiancee is marrying you and not your mother!! She will get over it. This is the year 2007,and many couples start a family before getting married. In this life you will out that not everything works out the way you have it planned.The fact that you stated you want to be a mother,even though a little sooner then expected,and if your finance wants to be a father,then go ahead,have the baby,and continue planning the wedding. Don't make the mistake my X WIFE and I did 25 years ago,and listen to her mother.I think about how old that child would be today etc.,etc. Listen to your "HEARTS".
2007-01-14 08:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by jersee409 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could get married now and have a big reception later. I know you have alot on your shoulders right now but try not to worry too much. You are carrying a baby now and it knows when you are stressed. Just try to stay calm- everything will work its self out. It may not seem like it right now because you have so much to think about at once but everything will be fine. Congratulations and best wishes with your wedding and baby. Just think a year from today you will be settled in with your husband and you'll be making bottles and changing dirty diapers.
2007-01-14 08:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by ArkyGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋