I have a problem with being overly jealous.How can I stop that?

Question

Btw,I am a mature woman--not a teen.

Answer 1

Must say, "Quite a subjective question this is." :)

Well first of all I would like you to think about it once more. Are you jealous or are you insecure. Not that its wrong to feel insecure... just making sure that we have a direction.

If you are sure that its the jealousy thing, then continue reading :)

I have had my share of jealousy too but I won't categorize it as severe/chronic... I was just as you said... overly jealous. So you are not the only one.

I got around to it by self reflection. I just happened to be acquainted with a person who was being jealous of another person over the same issue as of mine. Getting a third person perspective of my own behavior shocked me out of my jealousy issues. I realized that being overly jealous would just make the matters worse. I figured that being overly jealous would just make the person I am jealous for drift even further.

I know this scenario might not be same as of yours. But I personally believe that this rule is universal and would be applicable under any circumstances. Whatever or whoever it is that I am jealous of... would create negativity and it would drain out time and energy in being jealous rather than securing/ achieving that thing/person I am jealous for.

But again, this was a personal opinion. Let me know if you are comfortable with it and if you agree with it. Even if you think otherwise it would be a great "ice-breaker" talk. :)

Take care.

Answer 2

Jealousy can be linked to several things, but they all have roots in insecurity issues. For example, if an ex once left you to be with another woman, you're more likely to panic over a current relationship--you hope that you're good enough for them to stick around with, rather than go off and find someone "better." Another pattern is carrying around the beleif that you are somehow insupperior compared to other women, and feel that your partner could easily find someone "better." Either way, you're miserable--and that isn't good.

It's okay to feel this way! What you're really telling yourself each time you get your feathers ruffled is that you really care about this relationship and don't want it to go to anyone else. Nothing wrong with that--part of traditional marriage vows are "forsaking all others," which is a reassurance that your partner isn't still looking for something other than what you've got to offer.

However, putting a chain on your mate will kill a relationship faster than a bullet. You're telling him--without saying it--that you don't trust him. Well, you don't! You're afraid of him giving someone else something that means a lot to you... without trusting him not to do so.

My suggestion is to tell your partner how you feel about them--and get specific. Tell him the things he does that make you feel great. Then tell him that you're afraid of losing him--and again, be specific; if you've been left for someone else, tell him that. If you've always been picked on in the past, tell him that. Serriously, open up. This way, if you should act up in the future, he's more bound to at least understand why you sometimes do the things you do--rather than feel imprisioned and condemned to only talking to you while abandoning his friends. It really is the only way to stop feeling jealous: You work at it together. Day by day, baby steps.

Best of luck, dear.

Answer 3

Normally people are jealous if they feel threatened. It really starts by how you feel about yourself inside. If you view people as threatening in some manner, well then jealously is bound to occur, regardless of the circumstances. If you feel confident, and can extend a sense of yourself towards others, in a loving manner, you will never feel jealously. The best thing is to interact with everyone in a kind and loving manner, as much as possible. How can love and jealously compete?? They simply cannot. So start from this point forward to see people in a different light. You know you attract what you think...so if you feel jealous you will simply attract situations into your life which will reinforce jealously. So by changing your mind, you will change your experience. What a great way to start the year! Good luck!

Answer 4

Being jealous is a terrible sickness. I know, because I waisted years of happiness suffering from this STUPID emotion. Many years too late I realized my own worth, now I know that I am just as adequate or maybe more so than anyone else.Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not equal to any other person. ,there is not an other person in the world just like you You are unique! Remember that you are God's child and he loves you .

Answer 5

I don't know but I know I suffer the same problem so would be interested in what people think.
I am trying to not be so jealous and I get really cross then try and think- oh well, do I Really care that much? Is it affecting my life directly? If not leave it, if it is driving you up the wall act on it.
I think everyone has jealousy at some degree, maybe its healthy to!

Answer 6

I have that problem myself! being a mature woman does not mean that u cant feel insecure though and i think that is often the reason behind jealousy, there is no easy answer u just need to learn to like yourself more

Answer 7

If you dont stop it can ruin a relationship. Its hard but through time and self control you can. Is it that you both met when either one of you were already in a relationship. This can usually be the cause, wondering if what you did is being done again to you.

Answer 8

I presume that you are talking about jealousy over men? Any feelings of jealousy are down to insecurity and all of us suffer feelings of jealousy from time to time. Like any emotion, it can be descructive if it rears it's head too much. When you feel jealous feelings, stop and ask youself what is making you feel like that and is the feeling justified. People who are self assured are far more attractive so try and work through your feelings and face them.

Answer 9

i used to have this problem big style and various relationships ruined because of it. my husband is a saint when we srarted going out i was very jealous possessive but over the years i have mellowed out and things are wonderfull. so when you find someone that will perservere with you then you know it will only get better and that you will trust. goodluck and be happy