whatever i ask him to do he go for just opposite of that. i always try to explain him nicely but not understanding. i dont want to beat him. any other solution ?
2007-01-14 07:54:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
hmm.. beating him isn't really a good solution.
You have to be consistent and make sure that when you tell him to do something, he does it. This can be a long, frustrating, inconvienient process, but you have to stick to it. You don't have to be mean about it.
For example, if you say, "Pick up your toys", and he doesn't do it, you need to tell him again and explain tyhat until he picks his toys up, he won't get to do anything else (eat lunch, play outside, watch tv, whatever). Be patient and firm and make sure you enforce your requests every time. He'll start listening to you.
2007-01-14 07:59:26 · answer #1 · answered by Elaine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is choosing not to obey you. When you give him an order to do something, make sure you are on his level and that he is looking at you. If he does not do it, say "thats 1" still doesn't do it say "thats 2" one more time with no result say "thats 3". At that point, immediately take him to a time out chair for one minute for each year of his age. If he gets out, put him back. It helps to set a timer with a buzzer so he can hear when his time is up. When he gets out get on his level once again and ask him why he was in time out. Explain to him that he needs to do what he is told because you know what is good for him. BE VERY CONSISTENT, THIS WILL NOT WORK WITHOUT CONSISTENCY. After about a week, you should see a whole new child.
2007-01-14 16:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by peach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spare the rod, and spoil the child.
You can punish your child without "beating" him. There needs to be a mixture of punishments that you incorporate into this ordeal, or the little one will know how to manipulate you into the lesser punishment, or will soon learn that you aren't a threat. Spanking a child can be done without fear of abuse, but remember not to try to break his behind, and make sure that it is on his behind. Tell him to stay still while getting a spanking, or the result could be that he gets more hurt if he moves. Next, show more authority in the matter, and don't back down. If he sees a weakness, he will thwart it. Stand your ground, and don't back down. He may "hate" you now, but he will love you for it later. If you still continue to have problems, you may have to talk to a local counselor about further options.
2007-01-14 16:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by iiboogeymanii 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't do as you say, put him in time out. Make him sit for 4 minutes. Then 5 minutes when he's 5, etc.
If he gets up and tries to leave, put him back in time out. Do this over and over and over and soon he'll realize fighting is worthless, and he'll stay for the 4 minutes.
He needs to have consequences for his bad behavior. Take away a toy, don't let him watch him favorite TV show, etc. Make sure he sees that bad things happen when he doesn't listen. And you HAVE to follow through. If you say "Do this, or no TV," then let him watch TV anyway, he'll learn that you're weak and you don't mean what you say.
2007-01-14 16:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't back down. I was working with a child specialist around this same issue. The solution she gave me that worked very well want to ask them to do the desired task and then count to 10 in your head. Ask them once more to do the task, if they don't do it give them a time out. Once the timeout is finished, ask them once more to do it. My son always did it after that. It's a phase that all kids go through and it seems to last forever. Just remember to remain calm always and follow through with what you ask.
2007-01-14 15:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've come across with same situation were in my cousin's 3 yr old boy who does the exact opposite of what she says so now if she wants him to drink milk she says that don't drink the milk and he does the opposite of that so the next step that u can do is try telling him the reverse and check whether he do it or not ...... i hopefully think that he will do the thing which u want ... god bless.. take care
2007-01-16 13:03:24 · answer #6 · answered by sreeja_611 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat him, He may have hearing problem, have him checked . There are many free clinics to do this. He may also have learning disorder. Please have him checked before you get totally discouraged by his actions. I'm not saying he should be allowed to get away with action disrespectful of disruptive. I'm not saying don't spank him, try other means first. Try to place him in the corner first.
2007-01-14 16:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by gimlost2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am an indian girl living in america. dont spank ur child. its wrong. I know you indian folks got quite a spanking from your parants, but its just going to create a bigger gap between you two. Take my advice, and ground them. Thats a more affective way, BELIEVE ME.. Just try it once.
2007-01-14 16:33:16 · answer #8 · answered by jackiexxrawrrr(: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Dr. Dobson's book on "Bringing up Boys"
2007-01-14 16:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by Jason 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is four years old his mind does not work like the mind of an adult. You explaining to him isn't going to do any good. You have to be consistent telling him over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...well I guess you got the picture...that is what parenting is about.
2007-01-15 03:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋