I love my husband dearly but wish he would quit smoking. I know I can't make him quit, and I do good not to bother him about it constently, I just drop a few hints now and then. He gets mad at me if I won't buy cigarettes for him. I can't help it, I want him to quit so I feel bad if I do buy them. Is that so wrong of me? My grandfather died of lung cancer due to smoking most of his life. I don't want to see my husband die from it too. I love him too much. I tease him and tell him if he loves me and the kids he would quit. He teases back and says if I love him, I would pick some up when I'm at the store. His father smokes too and he's developing a really nasty cough from it. Does he not see how bad it is? He says he doesnt care, it helps him relieve stress. How can I convince him there are better things out there for that? I mean, I'm right here...the kids are here...isn't that strong enough motive? And the smell! Makes the kids stink when he holds them. Its horrible! What can I say?
2007-01-14 07:08:55 · 7 answers · asked by Koozie 5 in Health ➔ Other - Health
My kids are 21 mo and 6 mo old. I know its extremely bad for them as well when it comes off of his clothes. The doctor has told him this. The oldest, my son, had sleep apnea when he was younger. I think daddy smoking was part of it. Hes real good about smoking outside the house but he doesn't get it that it is still in his clothes. I know its his decision, but its mine and the kids too isn't it? I mean we are suffering too in a different context of course. Him internally, us watching him hurt himself and getting second hand smoke as well. I know the kids are little and don't know the difference, but Im concerned for their heatlh as well. If he doesn't care about himself, he should as least care about them.
2007-01-14 07:35:27 · update #1
Dear 1hotmama,
I was looking through the health questions for the same reason! Weird! This morning I talked to my husband about him quiting smoking. He became quiet and then got mad at me. He smokes more than a pack a day and has started to develop a nasty annoying cough. His sister died at 45 of cancer and his mother has been under Dr's. care for a spot on her lungs. Needless to say they all smoke. I don't allow smoking in our house. He smokes on the porch. I do not buy cigarettes for him. He just buys them by the carton and keeps them in his truck. I am a reformed smoker....did it with the patch...7 years smoke free. He won't even try to quit.
What to do?!!!! I surely don't know but thank you for the question. I'll pray for them both, ok?
2007-01-14 07:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The craziness will sub side over time, you are not able to convince your hubby to quit unless he wants to, if you nag, you'll only defeat your purpose and you can't use his smoking as an excuse to start again. What I would suggest is that you demand that he not smoke in the house or car, you deserve a smoke free environment and for this you may both have to sacrafice some of your time together. Once you are successful at quitting he'll see how much better you are feeling and looking, he'll decide on his own to quit. Be forewarned that smokers are envious of successful quitters and will try to entice you into rejoining them...Don't do it, I quit 5 years ago and I am still 1 cigarette away from a 2 pack a day habit. You will always want to smoke, you just don't NEED to smoke anymore. You should take whatever money you were spending on cigarettes daily, save it in a drawer for 1 month and I promise, that will be motivation enough for you both to quit. This is 1 case where quitters are WINNERS!
2016-03-14 05:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by Carmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to convince someone to do something that they do not want to do will automatically pester that person, so there's a "no-win" to this.
However, I do agree with not buying them for him. I smoke, and I do not ask anyone to purchase them for me. If I were (which I pray to never, ever be) unable to get them for myself, I would end up not smoking anymore.
All smokers know how harmful smoking is; we choose to find our own personal justifications for doing it, or the arrogant acceptance of the ills from smoking.
Only the smoker can stop themselves from smoking, and they get good and ready to.
2007-01-14 07:23:12 · answer #3 · answered by R C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reading I have done about hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) indicates that many addictions, compulsions and obsessions may be the body's way of coping with low blood sugar (which may affect 40% of Americans without their knowledge).
I would make sure that you request a full physical exam with blood tests from the doctor, making sure that the fasting blood insulin test is one of them. Get yours done too. If your husband registers high (more than 10) then you may be able to convince him to start a diet to moderate his insulin production. You can maybe do that without his knowledge - if you are the cook for the family. If he does that, he may find the need for cigarettes to decrease naturally. He may find he is less stressed and relaxing enough without them.
There is more info about low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) at www.hufa.org.
Good luck.
2007-01-14 07:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by Pegasus90 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't help some one who does not want to be helped, but I would tell him he can not smoke around the kids that his second hand smoke will kill them and one day they will want to smoke.I feel for him I too was a 2or 3 pack a day smoker and my husband never complained I had to decide myself that I wanted to stop, and so does he,but at least now they have things that will make it easier, has he try ed the patch? or the gum, may you could suggest this and see were it goes, but please don't let him smoke around your kids that is selfish.
2007-01-14 07:26:10 · answer #5 · answered by sandyjean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you won't buy them for him. it's his bad habit and it's his choice and that's that. offer to help him find a way out when he's ready. but the more you harp on his the more he probably digs his heels in and sticks with this bad habit. he knows it's wrong and yet he pressures you to buy him smokes? he isn't respecting you or himself.
2007-01-14 07:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Carla S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and the kids start walking around with masks on your faces
make it a strategy and have an internal war ,get the kids to colaborate
tell him that you are worried about the future and want to have a lover as a prospective replacement and get him to get a good life insurance ,in case he dies
put photograps of him around the house ,and built a shrine with lit candles and tell him that you are practising being sad ,for when he will die .
walk around in black mourning dresses and tell him that you want to be ready ,that you dont want to look an idiot at his funeral
etc
2007-01-14 07:22:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. It is a decision he has to make.
2007-01-14 07:16:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋