My kids father wants them and they wont tell me who they want to live with. He has alot of money to take care of them and a bigger house for them to live in.They are 4 years old and I had them on my 16 b-day. He boke up with me but he is really close to them and i can take care of them but with him they will have better life than living with me and my friend in an apartment while i work part time and go to college
2007-01-14 06:48:18 · 14 answers · asked by Punk Pixie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First of all, let me say that you sound like a remarkable young women, and good for you for going to college...I know that's not easy with babies! Please don't think that more money and things will mean the kids will be happier. Try to think long term, now it might seem like they will be better off, but if they are with their Daddy and you work and go to school, will you get to see them enough? If not, they will be devastated and so will you! What about years down the road, will you regret this decision? Does the father pay child support, because if he has money, he should be supporting the kids to give them the same lifestyle that they would have if they lived with him...that's the law. Well, good luck on your decision, I know you are trying to figure out what is best!
2007-01-14 07:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision you will have to make. If they are 4, they have no clue what to say to a question like "who do you want to live with". That was a hard question for me when my parents separated and I was 14. As long as you take a big part in your kids lives and let them know you love them, then living with there father would be OK. Me myself as a mother could never live with out my kids with me, but that is me and my kids are allot older 15 and 17 and so am I. Give it a try and see how you feel after about a month or two. Let them live with him and you call everyday and get them on the week-end. Your not a bad mother at all. If living with him would be the best for everyone including you, nothing wrong at all.
2007-01-14 07:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by betterwithage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children sound loved by both parents. It would be best for them to stay with either parent. Society automatically thinks living with the mother is always the best option. There is some stigma attached to a mother who chooses to leave the children with the father, but never the other way around. If it would be easier for you and the children, let the father raise them. Agree on visitation and support.
2007-01-14 07:02:29 · answer #3 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, of course they won't tell you who they want to live with. That is a strange concept for a 4 yr. old. They aren't going to say that they want to leave their Mommie. You have to choose what is best for them they can't make that decision and it's not fair to ask them to, because they may feel guilty for it later. You decide and tell them that the reason you made that decision is because you love them and you will always love them.
If you choose to let the father take them then you should really be specific in the paperwork about your visitation rights, his not being able to move out of state with them and that maybe you want to revisit the custody question every two years or so.
2007-01-14 07:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Not Laughing w/ U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A parent should always work to provide the best life for his/her children, and to ensure that they are always safe. Assuming that their father lives in a good situation (no roommates or shack-up honeys), and is responsible, caring and loving toward his children, my opinion would be that his situation would be the best for the children. If the father does not meet the criteria that I outlined, above, my opinion would be for the children to stay with you.
2007-01-14 06:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by Wally Buca 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to give you alot of credit. You are thinking about your children and not what you want. Alot of parents think what is right for them and not for the children.
If you think that they are better off with him than you give it a try for a few weeks. See how things are going .
Good luck! I hope everything works out for you!
2007-01-14 06:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by crazziegrl14 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you and your Ex get along really well and you know he will let you see them whenever you want then maybe it is better . How close are they to you ??? I would hate to be in your shoes . Do what is in your heart and make sure you will not have any regrets later !!!
2007-01-14 06:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ hello_kitty_xoxo ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is a good father to them, than yes. He should keep them until you get your finacial situation settled.
2007-01-14 07:05:15 · answer #8 · answered by The_Pink_One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR THIS IS YOUR MATTER I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW TO HANDLE IT IF YOU PLEASE DRAW UP PAPERS BY A GOOD LAWYER FOR VISITATION ON HOLIDAYS AND SUMMER TIME MY BOTHER IS GOING THROUGH IT TOO SO I KNOW THE HURT AND THE FILLINGS HE WORKS FULL TIME AND GOES TO COLLEAGUE ALSO AND IS REMARRIED FOR THE 3RD TIME NOW TAKE CARE GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY NEW YEAR
2007-01-14 06:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u should let the kids go to the father( on the other hand u should try to make up with him )
2007-01-14 06:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋