I have a 3 year old son who has been sleeping with me since day 1. how do i get him out of my bed?

Question

I need ideas how to get my 3 year old son out of my bed and into his. He is always scared to be alone he follows me every where so it is gonna be a difficult experiance to get him in his own room when he dont even play in there alone.

Answer 1

You're going to have to fix the problem of him always following you around before you fix the co-sleeping problem.

I have to say that one of the reasons he follows you around so much is BECAUSE of the co-sleeping. He's never been away from you since he was born. He wakes up and you're there, he goes to sleep and you're there, and you're with him during the day.

I personally don't believe in co-sleeping. Situations like this are the main reason why. I'd suggest letting him know ahead of time that he will be starting to sleep in his own bed soon. Start saying things like "You're going to sleep in your big boy bed in a few days!" and "Wow what a neat big boy bed! You're gonna have fun sleeping in your new bed!"

Maybe start putting him in his bed for naps. Let him fall asleep in your bed (or wherever he sleeps for naps) and then put him in his bed after he falls asleep. Do this for a few days and then start putting him in his bed BEFORE he falls asleep for naps.

After a week or so of letting him sleep in his bed for naps, get him ready to sleep in his bed at night. Maybe make it a really special deal and get him new pajamas, a new book to read before bed, and a new blanket or stuffed animal to sleep with. Go through your normal bedtime routine (bath, jammies, etc.) then lay him down in his bed. Tell him good night and leave the room.

He'll probably get up, in fact he'll probably get up ALOT. You're just going to have to keep putting him in his bed each time. The key to all this is persistence. After a few nights, it'll be smooth sailing. Good luck :-)

Answer 2

Start slow (cold turkey is OK for infants, but for a toddler, it can be terrifying and bring on night terrors!)
Start by reading stories in your bed and then lay in his bed with him until he falls asleep. After a few day, start doing the stories in his bed as well. A few more day, read the stories in his bed, and then sit in a chair in his room, and lay with him for 5 minutes, and then move to the chair(close enough that you could rub his back or hold his hand) Then after he's comfortable with that, slowly move the chair closer to the door every night, leaving when he's drowsy, not sleeping. When you've reached the door, it's time for you to leave after stories and a couple of minutes of cuddling. He might cry, but he'll be OK after a few days.
Also, make sure he has a night light on.
You can also go to the store with him, and let him pick out a "sleeping buddy" (stuffed animal, blanket, even a flashlight is OK). Explain to him that he's big boy now and is old enough for a sleeping buddy (make it sound like an accomplishment) and to sleep in his bed without mommy.
It will be a rough transition, but it will be better for you and him.
I hope this helps.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

First of all you need to get him into activities that do not include YOU! He will need a gradual break, so don't traumatize him by doing it all at once. Enroll him in a gym or art class, where you can watch, but not be involved. He needs to develop some independance, and for that you will have to let go, too. Once he is feeling a little more confident, get a mat or cot for him to sleep on in your room. Tell him that it is hurting your back for him to be in your bed because he is so big now, but that he can sleep near you. While you are doing this, make sure that you are spending time with him in his room. Play in there, read in there. Once he is occupied leave for short periods of time, like to get the phone or put away some laundry. Check on him, and praise him for staying in there. Eventually he will become more ready for his room. At that point, sit in bed with him, read to him, then put on a book on tape. Do the same thing. Leave him, while you brush your teeth, or get some water. Praise him for staying. Go back and forth a lot so that he doesn't have the opportunity to get up and come looking for you. He needs to know you are right there through the transition.

don't let anyone tell you that co-sleeping is bad. My kids all did it, and they all transitioned nicely into their own rooms. On weekends we have camp outs where they all bring their sleeping bags into my room and we watch tv together.
The key is making them self confident enough to be alone, which I think is more the issue with your son than whether or not he is in your bed. Get him out into the world, and good luck!

Answer 4

Start by letting him nap in there during the day.

Put a chair in his room and sit there while he falls asleep (for a nap or for night), to comfort him. Before he lies down, tell him that you are going to sit with him until he goes to sleep and then you are going to leave. It might make him mad, but remind him that you are not leaving him, you'll just be in another room. If he wakes up, he just has to call and you can come right away.

It'll take a lot of encouragement. Tell him how proud you are of what a big boy he is whenever he does well. Don't get upset with him for reverting to old habits or for wanting to sleep with you. You've encouraged this behavior, so it will take different positive attention from you to change it. Keep at it and good luck!

Answer 5

I had the same problem, one thing I did was got him a bed, not a toddler bed and I did what they say you are not suppose to do, but I put a tv in there. He is now 4 1/2 and is doing awesome, he loves to sleep in his big boy bed and when it is bed time he knows where he is suppose to sleep.

Answer 6

that's of route bothering you. have you ever requested your self why this napping affiliation insects you a lot? Is it the shortcoming of intimacy between hubby and your self? I, in my opinion, believe interior the relatives mattress. in this concern i'd basically propose paying for a larger mattress and all sharing sleep area. it really is something your baby of route savour and little ones are basically little ones for see you later. you've allowed this habit to bypass on for see you later that faster or later you should have got here upon this suitable to three degree. If the problem is your sexual relationship mutually with your husband-have sex in different places then mattress. Make it a relaxing pastime between both of you. you at the instantaneous are not constrained to a mattress room.. making the mattress a relatives position isn't something that should be uncomfortable or disheartening yet when that's bothering then you slowly introduce the perception of napping on my own for your little ones. placed 2 more desirable beds on your room, except for your mattress and performance them sleep interior an same room yet not in a shared mattress.. enable this until eventually you're little ones seem inspired to sleep in a distinct room then you truly. that's all about giving your little ones alternatives and respect.

Answer 7

That situation should never have been allowed in the first place, so now, you and your son will have to suffer the consequences. Assuming he does have a bed in his own room, Have him ready for sleep, read him a nice bedtime story, tell him he is a grown up big boy now and that he needs to sleep in his own big boy bed now. Give him lots of love, leave a small night light on, last kiss on the cheek, then out of the room you go. This will not be easy for either of you two. He will be crying, you will be crying, but this is the only way to get him out of that habit. You just have to be strong and stick to your guns.

Answer 8

Cold turkey. Make sure there's a nightlight, and some music or white noise. Have a short bedtime routine, leave the room, GATE the doorway but leave the door open, and don't go back till morning. He'll cry but he'll eventually fall asleep, either in his bed or by the gate. Each night he'll cry less. Soon it will be no big deal. Don't interact with him or give him any attention once you have left his room.

Answer 9

This is a hard one. I have not had to deal with this personally but have heard a few different ways to help. One way is to make a little bed on the floor of your bedroom just for him. That way he is close to you but not in your own space. After he gets used to being in his own space the transition to his own bed and bedroom should be easier. I have also heard of parents doing this intheir child's bedroom. WIth the child in the bed and the parent on the floor. The important thing is for him to get used to and enjoy having his own sleeping space.

Answer 10

Reading "Sleeping through the night" by Jodi A. Mindell helped me with my daughter. It might be difficult the first week, but it is worth trying. The worst think you can do is postponing this further.....GOOD LUCK!