i am a 16 yr old boy. since i was 9 my mother has been making me do chores. when i was young, she'd just make do odd jobs while she did the rest of the housework. As years have passed, she slowly lumped more chores on me. Now, I have to clean the entire house and take care of my baby brother at the same time. She's the mother, yet I'm taking care of the baby not her. Recently I got a job and my mother is mad because i cant be her full-time maid anymore. She verbally abuses me and she calls me a liar and a lazy pig. My dad also joins in and attacks me verbally. Everytime i hear them say that I don't ever help them I get really mad, because when i was having my exam period, I sacrificed my study time just to clean up for them and buttle for them. When I don't do chores, they get mad and scream and take away all the stuff i bought myself. I'm really depressed and i feel imprisoned in my own house. I have no way out. I don't feel like I'm a son to my parents. I feel like an unpaid butler.
2007-01-14 04:54:39 · 32 answers · asked by pcd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
considering your age, your options are limited. but you sound smart. find a relative of friend you trust and explain the situation to them. im sure they will be willing to take you in.
2007-01-14 05:04:24 · answer #1 · answered by ♥vegetarian♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I have a 15 year old daughter and she sometimes doesn't understand how I have grown dependent on her help. Yes, I call it help because you make a good point...the children are a parents job, not their offspring's. I see no problem with your parents requesting your help once in a great while, or for example, to take care of the kids while they are working. But to put the whole load on your shoulders and not expect you to grow up and be your own person is just too much. I have to admit, with my daughter taking care of her sibs, I do pay her. Yes, it does teach her responsibilities,but at the same time, again you said it, she sacrifices her time for me to have my time. Some people may get mad at me, oh well. You don't dump your responsibilities on your older children to do. If parents can't be good parents, then why become parents at all. I could only suggest that you try to find someone you trust in your family to let you move in with them. And since you are working, you can show them how responsible you are and put some money away so when you do turn 18, you can either start paying them rent and helping out with household bills and chores, or you can get your own place. Talk to a family lawyer or counselor about your choices. This is child abuse and I wish you the best of luck sweetheart...please remain good with life, even though life handed you nothing but rotten apples!!!
2007-01-14 05:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by momofatsc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent of four children, I can say that I too have been guilty of making them do things for me. I have a seventeen year old who too has a job. This is the only thing he wants to do. He will only work. He will not do his homework, or chores. All I ask of him are those two things; do his homework and keep his room clean. He will do neither. My daughter who is thirteen, burns holes in me everytime I ask her to clean her room, or do her homework, and forget about asking her to walk or bathe "her" dog.
So what, if i ask them to make me something to drink.
I cook, clean, and teach them. The one time that I ask them to load a dishwasher, or put the clothes in the dryer, all I get is...
"uh, hold on!"
Maybe your parents are lazy, and maybe they're not. Seriously take a long look at the situation.
My kids too think that they are a slave to me and their father. But truly, thats far from the truth. I am their slave.
As far as making you care for your little brother...
I too was the babysitter in my family. But it wasn't that bad. I had only one little sister, and I only had to care for her occasionally.
My youngest are twelve and four. Never have I made the others watch or care for them until this New Years Eve.
My children are my responsibility. None of them really know what a babysitter is. I can wait until they are older to have my life back.
But one day; My children will have to take care of me.
2007-01-14 05:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well thats not very noce hey?....okey heres my suggestion, have a good talk with your mom explain to her that you cant do everything and that some or other day your going to start your own family...and then you wont be there to do her dirty work anyomore...then tell her that you will quit tour job if she pays u the amount of money you make!that way you will benifit from both sides...make a progrem that gives everyone in the house the equil amount of work then everyone's happy! but you have to stop this and talk to her and if it doesnt stop ur going to get another grown up or even childcare to help solve the problem...i wish you the best of luck
2007-01-14 05:02:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only power your parents have over you is in your head. The worst thing they could possibly do to you is yell, and it seems like like your used to that by now. Do exactly what you need to do for yourself and don't sacrifice your job, school, sports, or anything else for your parents if they refuse to fulfill THEIR job as caring, supportive people. Speaking from personal experience with this same problem, I know it seems like 2 years is a long time, but it really isn't. The next two years will fly by and then you can get the hell out of there. Until then, hang in there.
2007-01-14 05:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by Belzner 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it makes you feel any better I can tell you of a girl who took her mom's responsibilities and took care of her younger brothers and did all the chores. She still does. It's not fair; and you shouldn't have to go through this.
You need to talk to a family counselor; your parents should be in the meeting as well. If things don't improve, move in with your grandparents or relatives. It needs to be done through the court to have your grandparents or relatives as your legal guardians.
2007-01-14 05:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by childofGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calmly and quietly explain this to both parents in a formal meeting maybe with a mediator. The two sides of this situation are that you are learning practical skills and being the proverbial team player, down side is it may be allowing mom to be lazy and take advantage of you and diminish study and money earning work time
2007-01-14 05:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that does seem unfair, how about looking at the situation without bias from their point of view? do they work? are they taking on anything else that is time consuming? are they dealing with an illness or sickness? look at your schedule and weigh what you think is fair to help around the house. for example when you come home from school, take into account so many hours you need to do your homework, so many hours you need to work, your own down time and how many hours you can spend on housework and babysitting. talk to your parents calmy and remember that you yelling or getting mad is not going to help matters either. hopefully you and your parents can come to a equal and fair resolution to this.
good luck!
2007-01-14 05:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At first they were probably trying to teach you about responsibility, but it seems it has gone too far. Just talk to them calmly and let them know that your school work and grades have now been affected because you are spending all of your extra time doing things that should not fall on your shoulders. I understand you may need to babysit your brother on occasion, but it is your mother's responsibility to take care of him. She is the parent, not you. Besides, 16 year olds should have fun!
2007-01-14 05:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by miyazaki75 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
god that sucks for you poor kid. you have a job good for you???
time to tell parents how it is. they are parents not you. they are there for you not the other way around. They had you, you did not pick them. mom needs to care for kids, not kids taking care of kids. everyone should clean the house but most of it should be on mom if she is not outside the home working. dad to if he is not outside the house working to support his family.
as a kid you have rights. you should not be abused in anyway so get your self a hand held recorder so when the fights come up and yelling and cussing at you you can have on tape to show the social workers when you complain to them of the abuse you will need proof to show them. oh and make copies of the tape, leave in school locker or friends house. and put a lock on your door to keep them out of your room, oh and put you name on the things you buy permanent marker or etching on things. hope these ideas help.
2007-01-14 05:08:42 · answer #10 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK let me answer this from a parents view.
Is it your mess you are having to clean up or your parents mess?
If it is your mess then you should clean it up..you are sixteen and your mother is not your maid.
Having housework skills will only make you a better person.
If you are not paying rent then maybe she thinks you need to do something around the house...she is paying all the bills and puts food on the table.
Talk to them, sounds like you both need to talk.
2007-01-14 05:10:00 · answer #11 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋